Throughout my life, I’ve read about who others say Jesus is. Through their experiences and encounters with God, they’ve come to know Him in unique ways. Their understanding of Him is slightly different from mine. These encounters shape their perception of who God is to them. Each of us has different lives and perspectives, so our understanding of God is unique to our needs. Yet, we also encounter Him in similar ways. It’s not that He is a different God; He is the same God, though we might perceive Him and His actions in varied ways. His vastness and depths are beyond our imagination, allowing us to see different aspects of who He is. If asked, “Who do you say I am?” we would each have different answers. This morning, I am overwhelmed as I reflect on who Christ is to me and the ways I have encountered Him.

For me, it has always been Jesus and me. Though grammatically it should be “Jesus and I,” it’s true. He has always been my friend. I can share everything with Him—the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. As a child, an adult, a mother, a wife, a single woman, and in every role, I’ve held, He has been my friend. Through it all, He has been my confidant, someone with whom I can share the joys and concerns of my life. He’s my longtime friend, the one I cry with, laugh with, and deeply love. Things I could never share with anyone, I’ve shared with Him—my greatest shames, deepest secrets, and my raw, unfiltered self and he has loved me all the same. Knowing He is my friend means that prayer is not work; it is a conversation with my very best and longtime friend. Even study tranforms into an opportunity to know my friend more, so it’s not work either, or at least not work I dread.  It’s amazing to realize that He seeks to know me in return, he wants time with me too.

Christ has always been my friend, but He has also been my refuge. My childhood was filled with frequent arguments at home. My parents tried their best, but it wasn’t always easy. Most days, I felt my father hated me and that nothing I did was ever good enough, even though I desperately wanted his love. It was incredibly hard. I remember finding solace in Christ, hiding with my friend Jesus in my closet as my parents argued. During my teenage years, He continued to be my refuge. This support persisted into my marriage, which was often disappointing and difficult due to separations from deployments. Being married to a soldier meant I often lived like a single mother. God was my hiding place as I faced infidelity, body image struggles, and managing expectations from others and myself. In all these challenges, He was my refuge and the place I hide away when it all becomes too much. He is an eye in every storm, a shelter from the wind and rain that beat at me so often in life. I see myself as the psalmist described—a babe chick huddled under His wings, protected.

One of my favorite songs for a long time has been “You Are My Hiding Place.” It simply declares that He is my hiding place and that He preserves me whenever I am afraid. I trust in Him. I openly admit that I experience real fear and am overwhelmed by my life at times. I struggle with anxiety and worry; this is not an easy world we live in. But I take all those feelings to my friend Jesus, and He lets me hide away inside of Himself, under His wings. It should be clear why, to me and many others, Christ is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble.

He is also the lover of my soul. Now, I’ll try to keep this PG, but this aspect of Christ is very important and deep. What is a lover, really? It’s someone who attends to and gives love or pleasure to another. Our relationship with Christ is intimate. How can that be? He is closer to us than anyone else and knows us deeper than anyone else. This is something I’ve found to be true throughout my life. When I am close to Him, there is such a feeling of peace, joy, comfort, and yes, pleasure. It’s like nothing else to be in the presence of God, to be absolutely held and enthralled in the moment with Him. It’s heaven on earth.

For me, this began with Christ through worship and prayer. I was blessed to attend a church full of passionate worshippers. I saw others seek God, losing themselves in His presence as they completely focused on Him. When I focused fully on God in worship or prayer, this intimate exchange with God became very real to me. I fell in love with Jesus as He lavished His love on my soul.

The closest thing I can explain is that He is intimate with us; we become one with God, not sexually, but just as intimately. He is the lover of our soul. Through worship, we forge a connection with God and lavish Him with adoration and praise. In return, He enfolds us and envelops us with His very spirit. It brings a feeling of closeness and connection to God that’s as close to heaven as we’ll ever know on earth. It’s complete rapture, being caught up in His presence. I know people only use words like rapture and ecstasy to describe sex, but being in God’s presence in that intimate way is better than anything.  It completely transforms you and you are never the same. This is what it has been for me.

Of course, just like with sex in a marriage, our worship and intimate times with God can become routine and even boring when people have been in a relationship for a long time. In the same way, we can take our worship and intimate times with God for granted if we let that happen. So, we must keep it fresh and vibrant. We must show up when we worship and not take it for granted because we value the connection with him. If we lost that connection, it would be devastating. The truth is that it is not just in those mountaintop moments that we’re connected with God; He is the lover of our soul our whole life. Scripture declares that I am His and He is mine. Always.

Now, I’ll move back to some more PG things that God is to me. I know not everybody is comfortable viewing God as the lover of their soul, but wow, if you could only grasp that, it would change your life.

Something more practical that God has been to me is my provider. Jehovah Jireh, my provider. Time after time, in every way—physical, financial, and emotional—God has been faithful in meeting my needs. As a kid, He provided peace when I first came to Him, and I had never felt peace before I gave my heart to Him. He sent mentors to guide me throughout my teenage years and into my young adult life. He gave me friends to walk with, some of whom I continue to live my life alongside. He provided His word and His spirit to guide me in every moment. He always comes through financially. Whether through charitable church giving, providing me with a job just in time, or unexpected blessing in other ways. He has given me a home to live in, a career to allow me to be sufficiently provided for, and not only survive but thrive in life. This role of being a provider is not a small thing, and it is not one I take for granted.

Declaring God is my provider is the declaration that everything I have been given or provided with has come from God and God alone. I may make money from my job, but God provided me with the job. He provided me with the good health and with the intellegence I need to work and complete my tasks. Everything, all of it, is provided by my Master and King. He is my sole sufficiency, and He has proved Himself faithful in this role year after year, day after day, and moment after moment. This will never change. He is forever faithful.

God is also my anchor. In my life, He is my peace and he holds me steady. I have found that life is very much like a tumultuous sea. Sure, sometimes the waters are calmer, but there are always waves. My boat would be tossed about if not for the anchor. When I was in my early 40s, I got a tattoo. It is an anchor, and no, I’ve never been in the Navy. I got it as a reminder of a very important truth. There is a scripture on it, Lamentations 3:21-24. Why did I choose this scripture? Well, Lamentations is more of a darker book in the Bible, honestly; it’s a lament. So, you don’t think of it when you think of inspirational sayings. However, in the middle of this book, the author stops lamenting and remembers that he has an anchor for his soul. This is what he says: “Yet this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed.” We aren’t tossed about or destroyed by the things that happen in life. No, the author goes on to say, “God’s compassions are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness! I say to myself, the Lord is my portion; therefore, I will wait for Him.”

He, God alone, is the anchor for our souls, the steady in our life. I don’t have peace or hope because my life is easy or because things are perfect and always good. No, I have hope in Christ as my anchor. He is my portion, and I know He is enough! He can hold you steady, be your friend, be your hiding place, lavish love on your soul, and protect you too. I challenge you to think about what your response would be if asked by Christ “Who do you say I am?”. Share your testimony with others and walk in the joy of all Christ is and has been to you. 

Scriptures: Lam. 3:21-24, John 15:15, Psalms 32:7, Psalms 17:8, Hebrews 6:19, Psalms 91, Song of Solomon 6:3, Phil. 4:19, James 1:17, 2 Peter 1:3, Psalms 3:3