There is nothing quite like motherhood; no other relationship compares. Your entire life and effort are devoted to that precious child or children you love. They are your primary investment. It doesn’t matter if a child is born of your body or comes to you through adoption; they are still yours. It doesn’t matter how old they become or how far away they live. When you give so much of yourself to someone, you can’t help but be transformed by them, and they by you.

However, don’t be deceived by idealistic notions of motherhood. Unrealistic views can condemn any mother who is tired or not meeting the so-called ideal. Feelings of failure arise when your children struggle or don’t live up to your dreams for them. Loving them deeply doesn’t make motherhood easy. It’s hard work, constantly challenging, and often thankless. Many days, a mom wakes up wishing she wasn’t “mom” that day. I remember telling my children I wasn’t “mom” today. Did I think that would change reality? Certainly not! The reality is, I am always their mother, even after death.

In moments of joy and heartbreak, there is never a time a mother wishes her children away, even if she craves peace and space. She knows the day will come when she has more peace and space than she wants. Motherhood shifts from wanting a break from responsibilities to missing the moments of being needed. Being tired, overwhelmed, or discouraged doesn’t make you less of a mother or mean you’re not measuring up. God gave us our children because He wanted us to have them. When it becomes overwhelming, we can lean on Him for help and realize there is no such thing as a perfect mother. We should stop placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves.

Being a mother means rarely being alone, always getting others ready before yourself, and always prioritizing someone else’s needs. Ironically, I was interrupted by my children while writing this, and of course, I stopped to meet their needs. That is the job of a mother.

At the same time, a mother must take care of herself. You have to be physically, mentally, and emotionally able to care for your children. This won’t happen unless you prioritize your needs. A good mother knows this and takes time for personal care.

Unrealistic expectations can cause burnout. Mothers trying to be supermom often forget the importance of self-care. You are not a bad mother for taking time each day to get your head straight before facing the world. I find morning prayer time extremely helpful. Yes, I have to wake up earlier than the kids, but since starting this, my days have changed, especially mornings when getting the kids out the door. When I miss my quiet time, I can tell, and I’m sure my children can too. Those stolen moments where a mother can calm and center herself are crucial for self-care.

There is no mother of the year award, and as great as Mother’s Day is, it only lasts 24 hours. A mother’s reward is in the special little moments: seeing her child smile, watching them learn, grow, and become adults, hearing “I love you,” snuggling with your baby, watching them sleep like angels, seeing them accomplish and transform. These moments bring joy and heartache because you realize they are growing up and growing further away from you.

These treasured moments keep a mother from quitting, losing patience with mouthy teenagers, or giving up when it’s hard. There is nothing more difficult than loving and caring for your children for life, and nothing as rewarding. When I want to quit, I hold onto the hope of more precious moments and the memory of those that have already passed. Even the screaming, crying, arguing, stubbornness, broken things, and whining are better than the alternative. So today, if you are a mom, keep at it. Know that it is all worth it and will always be worth everything motherhood costs you because it gives you so much in return. It truly is a gift, all the moments, if you just open your eyes to see it.

Scriptures: Gal. 6:9, 1 Peter 4:8, Proverbs 14:1, Proverbs 31:28-31