I heard something interesting recently. About our children and how they are being raised in a day where they are constantly seen and recorded. So many pictures taken by themselves and by others. This kind of constant observation can lead to the idea that you have to be perfect or always appear on just right. That you have to have a cutting edge POV to be relevant.  It must be frustrating to feel that way and really impossible to live up to. Because we are people (very human) and people are messy. We have things about ourselves that are not beautiful, but they make us who we are. This constant viewing is causing people to feel highly insecure.

I think there’s another byproduct of this constant observation. We always want to be noticed as people and remembered. You’re born with this desire to make a mark or somehow be important even if it’s only in your little part of the world. But for most of us, we will live our whole life and it will be unnoticed by almost everyone but the few lives that we touch. I think there was a time that would have been enough in our minds but there’s a pressure put on the young nowadays to influence so many. People do all kinds of crazy things to get noticed, to find some kind of a niche where they can speak out and make a difference. Is this really healthy? Is it realistic?

I would argue that part of the rising depression and anxiety faced by our youth are these pressures that are put on the young to be influencers and honestly to be perfect due to constant observation. It’s more than just constant observation it’s the criticism about the observation. So, they post a picture and then there’s comments. Not all of them are kind. This unhealthy obsession with influencing and perfection is very damaging to the psyche of many young people today.

They really think that if more people see them that they’ll feel loved, that they’ll feel adequate, and that it will give their life meaning. Even if they achieve it for a time, it rarely remains for their lifetime. You see it time and again influencers come and go. How many one hit wonder bands are there? So, these instant celebrities feel very loved and seen for a time and then they fade off into the sunset. Not seen, not acknowledged anymore. I think sometimes tabloids follow old celebrities just to mark events in their life so they can make money off of them like divorces or struggles with the weight, addictions. It’s really ridiculous honestly and completely unfair.  This mistreatment of someone because they choose to stand out and be public, so now their life is free game for the media.  It’s sad.  The reality is the more seen people become the less seen they really are. We may know their names or their faces from popular movies or from the tunes they sing but we don’t know them. So, what does it really matter if you have 100 million followers if none of them really know you. 

We sell the lie to the youth that if people see you, you’ll feel validated forever. It’s like your existence made a difference and you matter because people see you. But that’s a lie. It’s not the quantity of people who see you that bring about validation to your soul. It’s the quality of the people in your life that bring the sense of love and belonging that I know we’re all desperately seeking. That little bit of approval, that at a girl or at a boy, that I see you for who you are and love you. We all want that. That you matter in my life and have made a difference to me. We all desire that. This isn’t wrong to feel this way. What we have wrong is the idea of how to achieve it.

Who cares if you have a million pictures of yourself when you hate and criticize every single one of them because you don’t feel like you’re good enough in them. Or if you only like them because someone commented that it was good. Who cares if everyone in the world sees you if no one cares to have you in their life as a friend, and not just to get something from you. If they don’t want you for more than what you can do for them and what they could use you for they’re not any one you need to worry about. This is what I want to speak to the souls of the youth out there who are struggling because of the obsession with somehow filling the void of companionship and validation through the number of views they receive or through positive comments made by others online who don’t know you and don’t care about you.

Stop wasting your life looking for the quantity of likes, followers, or views.  Instead spend time cultivating the quality in the people around you. In your relationship with your family, in your relationships with your friends, and then in how you see yourself. Perfect, that’s exactly what you are because that’s how God made you. Seen, that’s exactly what you are because he knows how many hairs are in your head and he sent people right there with you who love you if you just cultivate relationships with them. Stop sitting at the table with someone talking on your phone to other people who could care less about you in that moment and talk and love the ones you are with. If you don’t have those people then go out and find them, you have to put down your devices to do this and you don’t have to go far.

We’re all looking for the same things, so it won’t take much work to find other people who just like you need love and companionship. Take it from somebody who’s seen people in all stages of acknowledgment by those around them. Acclaim only matters when it comes from somebody who truly loves you and sees you. Acceptance feels especially good when it comes from somebody who actually knows you. Acknowledgement means nothing unless it’s personal and when it’s not really an acknowledgment of who you are because it’s given by strangers who don’t know you.  

I know this a new perspective for many people and probably not popular. The truth rarely is. Yes, this is definitely not the wisdom that the world is telling you right now. But that doesn’t make it less true. This truth is something that needs to be said and share because there are far too many who feel completely anxious, unimportant, and frustrated in their lives. I challenge you stop worrying about the quantity of your “followers” and find peace in the quality of the people (friends, loved ones, or potential friends, those who share life with you) that you have right there within arm’s reach.