How many people really have the fairy tale life? Well, we don’t really expect the fairy tale life, do we? How many people even have the life that they dreamed they would have when they were kids? Most of us realize that we’re not going to get the fairy tale, but we do hope to have our dreams come true or at least some of them. Yet more often than not the things that we imagined for ourselves doesn’t come to fruition and if they do, they certainly don’t come the way we expect. The truth is, if we’re honest with ourselves, even though our life isn’t exactly what we expected, our life is still good. 

There’s a trap that we can fall into if we are not careful. Something that we need to guard against. The trap of believing that disappointing things leads to disappointment.  Let me explain this trap. We can allow ourselves to view our situation as disappointing because our life wasn’t what we thought it should be. When the reality we face is not a bad reality, but not the expected or hoped for one (a disappointing reality) we get trapped in disappointment. Even if we see that there’s a lot of good in the reality we live in, yet it’s different than what we expect so it feels disappointing. Do you see how we can allow ourselves to be disappointed in something that’s not truly a let down, that’s maybe even good? Different does not have to be disappointing.  Unexpected does not have to be disappointing.  It is all in our point of view and seeing the blessings in what is. 

Let me try to give you an example. I have a good friend of mine who is a beautiful woman who’s just turned 40. She has never been married or had children and she has always wanted both, but it never happened for her. Whether the reasons for her seemingly singular state is what she thinks they are, because of her choices, or if it was the way God intended it to be, it is the reality she finds herself facing. The reality of a single childless woman. Not the mother or the wife that she one day dreamed she would get to be. Although that is her current reality. It’s not all of her life, there’s a lot of details missing if you look at it from that point of view. She has a great life, wonderful friends, a good job, a loving family, and her relationship with the Lord is strong. Her life is a very good life. It’s just not the life she expected.

When school started this year, she went through several difficult days because she was grieving that she didn’t have a child to take to school, to take first day pictures of, or to enjoy the excitement of a brand-new school year with. This truly grieved her, and she felt very disappointed with her life. She was seeing what she wished would be, a found her reality lacking.

At the same time, I was experiencing my own disappointment with life.  I was stressed and frustrated as a single mom.  I was grieving for a totally different reason. I was having difficulty because I do have children and they had a lot of needs. I had to worry about uniforms to buy, school supplies to purchase, doctor’s appointments to coordinate, morning schedules to reinstate, papers that needed to be turned in at school, car line situations to work out, and bills to be paid that I didn’t necessarily even know where the money would come from.  I felt the heavy burden of being a single mom and carrying that wait with just Jesus and me.

I am truly thankful for my children, and I’m being 100% transparent when I tell you that as thankful as I am for my kids, there are days when it feels very heavy to be the mom. It felt heavy to me that week. The very thing that was heavy to me was the thing that my friend dreamed of wanting. It kind of made me feel disappointed in myself for not being thankful because I was forgetting what a blessing I had. Yes, I am a single mother who has a great deal of responsibility on my shoulders especially at the beginning of a school year however there’s a huge blessing that I receive because of having those children that are my responsibility. The irony of it all – I was disappointed because I was tired of having to carry the burden and responsibility of motherhood and my friend was disappointed because she didn’t have the responsibility of parenthood that she so desired. Isn’t it crazy! How we can both have very blessed situations yet find ourselves disappointed because life did not turn out how we expected or dreamed. 

The real truth is that my friend is blessed beyond measure exactly where she is. That whether she ever is a mother or even a wife, God has promised that he would give her everything she needs for life and godliness. God has promised her that he would be to her everything she needs. God has a special ministry and plan for her life unique to her. He has promised the same to me. You see I am blessed beyond measure exactly where I am. God has promised me he will give me everything I need for life and godliness. God has a special ministry and plan for me that is unique for my life. God has promised me he will be to me everything I need. Neither of us are lacking anything!

The enemy wants us to not realize the blessing of where we are by distracting us with what is not. He wants us to be disappointed because our story isn’t the story that we dreamed it would be, so it must be wrong. The truth is the steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord. He knew where you would be, and he is sufficient always. His grace is sufficient for you exactly where you are. You are enough because he is enough inside of you. 

Wherever you find yourself I pray that you will no longer allow the enemy to rob you of the joy of the moment you’re in. Perhaps when you’re struggling with disappointment because there are still unfulfilled dreams, we can take those to God and let him know that we grieve over what we’ve never had or has been lost to us. Yet even grieving we can still be thankful because we can understand our reality doesn’t have to be a disappointment to us because it is not what we expected. We can be in disappointing circumstances but not be disappointed. There are still blessings in every moment.

When you find yourself in that moment where you have to choose how to see your situation.  I challenge you to take a step back. Look at your situation from another point of view. What is most challenging for you may be someone else’s dream come true.  What you already have is greater than you can imagine. I pray that God will open your eyes to the blessings of the moment you’re in. 

For my friend it was seeing all the opportunities that God had for her because she had the availability to serve and love. It was the opportunity to mother and love those around her even if they were not her biological children. It was in knowing that God would comfort her for the parts of herself that still ached for those unrealized dreams. It was in seeing the gifts that God had given her in her life. For my part I had to see the blessing of the fun moments that I get to have with my children, for the love and the care that I see them show me not all the time, but sometimes they have brilliant moments. For the little steps I see them taking as they’re starting to grow and mature. I’m seeing them become more and more independent. For the realization that they won’t be here forever so even if it’s hard sometimes to be a parent, I need to enjoy it. Yeah, I have a lot to be thankful for too, we all do.

Maybe you’re like me and my friend and life has not turned out quite like you envisioned it would be. You don’t have to be disappointed though, God isn’t, and he’s not surprised. Disappointing doesn’t have to mean we become disappointed. Trust in his care of you, trust in his grace for you, and rest in the hope that you are in his hands right where you belong. How can being held in his hands be disappointing place to be?