I have never been a person who denies my areas of weakness.  You see like David I feel like “my sin is always before me.” The things that I’ve done wrong are glaringly obvious to me and have become a voice in my head to remind me that I’m not good enough, that I don’t succeed even though I try really hard, and that I don’t deserve good things. I recognize that this voice is not God’s voice. It is instead a voice of condemnation. But it’s not the devil either. It’s me doubting myself. It’s me devaluing myself. It’s me discouraging my own self. This is what I want to deal with today.  Our own personal worst critic, ourselves and what we can do about it.  Make no mistake there is definitely something we can do about it.

Lately, I’ve begun reading a study with my accountability group called “Crash the Chatterbox.” Wow, what revelations I am learning through this study. What it is teaching me is that I do not have to be a victim of my doubts and my fears. I don’t have to let them have free reign in my mind and I don’t have to let them control me. Instead, I can speak with the voice of truth to these doubts and condemning thoughts that bombard me. I can choose to break free from the pattern of negative thinking towards myself. It is my choice. 

Although within myself I don’t have the absolute power to completely make these voices go away, the negative words will still rise to the surface, however they don’t have to stay there. They don’t have to inform my decisions that I’m making. They don’t have to control me, cause me not to try, cause me not to live fully, or cause me to not value myself in the way that I should be valued. When you can grab a hold of this and realize that it’s within your power through the strength that God places in you, and through the truths that God plants inside your heart, that you can break free from this prison that only exists in your mind, your world will be revolutionized. 

It’s crazy to think that everyone is just walking around appearing absolutely OK on the outside yet every single one of us, I don’t care who you are, has this struggle. This internal negative, self-doubting voice. We call it low self-esteem, or maybe we use some other names for it. Yet we are all well acquainted with this because well, we’re trapped inside our own minds. It’s there inside your mind where so many of your victories are either lost or attained. You see, we choose which thoughts we’re going to give power to.  We choose which thoughts we are going to allow to inform our decisions. We choose which thoughts we believe.

Let me give you an example. You’re going for a job promotion. You’ve been with your company for several years and you’ve actively contributed. Not everything that you’ve done has been perfect, but you’ve done really well and strived hard in your position. So, you sit there thinking that you would be a great fit for this higher position. In the back of your mind the self-doubt starts to come up. “Am I really qualified to do this? Wow, I think this other person would be much better than me at this job. What if I get in that position and I don’t know what to do? Am I really the kind of person who should even be applying for this position? You know all those times that you’ve only been able to just make it, what makes you think that you’re actually going to be able to go all the way this time? Just look around, any one of these other people would do better in that position than you would do.” Yeah, we are not nice to ourselves. We think of the times that we failed or the times that we’ve struggled, and we choose to discount ourselves before we even try. That is option A. The easy option to feel these things and have these thoughts and just not put in your resume for that promotion. 

There is another option besides not trying though, option B.  You could speak some truth to those negative thoughts and choose to send your resume anyway. You could remind yourself that although you haven’t always succeeded, the majority of the time you have. You can remind yourself of what an asset you’ve been to everyone around you and that no matter the challenges you would face you’re confident that you could continue to be an asset with the right support. You can remind yourself that nothing is impossible with God and that he can give you the strength to do whatever position that you’re placed. You can remind yourself that you are worth hiring for that position, that you are capable and competent to do that job, and that you also have the courage to try. That you’re not going to lose anything by trying, you will only lose if you don’t. 

This is a very simple example, but it shows you that cycle we go through when there’s something that we would like to pursue, and we talk ourselves out of it. We convince ourselves that we never were good enough to receive it. So, we don’t even try. People get so bitter and angry at other people for what they don’t have when the majority of the time they don’t have it because they never tried for it. They didn’t try for it because they didn’t think they deserve it or could get it. Or perhaps they didn’t think they were good enough for it. It is not anyone else’s fault if you choose to listen to the negative condemning voices and believe them. It is your choice which voice you will listen to. Will you listen to the voice of truth, or will you continue to let the worst of your thoughts define your life choices?

I want to remind other believers that it is a very Christian principle – to take these thoughts captive. To understand very clearly what the message of God for us is and discern what is instead our own thoughts and feelings. We need to be able to differentiate between the things that are not true that we’re thinking and feeling and what God would actually speak in this situation. That is spiritual warfare 101, the battle of truth over our thoughts and our life.

Christ demonstrated the right way to combat lies when he was being tempted by Satan. He must have been so very hungry after 40 days of fasting yet when he was offered bread, he was confident enough to tell Satan that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. You see, he used scripture and God’s truth to combat the temptation and the lie. In the same way, we use God’s word and his truth to combat the enemies lies when they come to us in the form of our own negative thoughts and feelings or self-doubts.

Make no mistake although those thoughts don’t come directly from Satan every time, he certainly influences us to see ourselves in a negative way. Satan does not want us to believe in the power of God inside of ourselves. He wants us to remain a victim of our own negativity and our own self-doubts so that we never pursue the calling that God has for us. So that we never are bold enough to take every opportunity that God gives us to share his love with others. This area of the mind and the battle that rages is paramount in our Christian faith. Remember most battles in our life are won or lost in our mind before our bodies ever do anything.

As a person who’s had a failed marriage and no other real successful relationships except for friendships, as a person who has changed careers and faced setbacks, and as a person who struggles with my own emotions and life responsibilities daily, I have all kinds of reasons to have self- doubt.  Yet I refused to give in. I refuse to believe what the enemy would tell me/the negative thoughts I tell myself. Instead, I seek the truth of who I am in God and who God is in me. To stand in his power and authority and boldly protest my own negative thoughts about myself. 

I hope today that you will choose to do the same. Don’t continue to be a victim of the condemnation put on you by yourself.  It is not God who condemns you, he convicts and guides, he does not condemns. Don’t continue to let these doubts and fears control you and make decisions for you. Choose the path of faith and truth. Be bold my friends and be strong because the Lord your God is with you no matter the battles you face, no matter the unhealthy thought patterns that you have to reset, and no matter how many times you have to say the same truth to the same lie before you believe it. Yes, no matter what, God is with you wherever you go. He can give you the strength and the truths that you need to hold on to so that you can start winning this war in your mind against your own insecurities, self-doubts, and fears. “I am no longer a slave to fear” as a worship song I know boldly proclaims. Why? Because I am a child of God. I pray today you can say the same thing.