Since my divorce I had always set aside money for Christmas.  I wanted to give my children the three gifts, as had been the tradition for Christmas since their births.  Jesus got 3 so they got 3.  That was the logic behind our plan. Besides that, it would help keep Christmas reasonable, with our growing family this was important. I know this is not for everyone but it was the tradition in our house and it was the tradition I wanted to maintain.

This year would be different for me, things had greatly changed from those first years of parenthood when I had been married.  Besides the most obvious change of being single now, I had changed jobs and things were going to be very different.  The savings I normally had for Christmas had gone to surviving the year.  I faced a year where my children needed and wanted things and I knew I would not be able to get them. I felt frustrated and ashamed if I being honest. What I wanted to do, I could not do, although there were a few things within my power to do.

I was going to re-gift a few things that had been mine to my daughters, such as jewelry.  Also, they needed essentials items such as socks and clothes and that would be what I got them.  Not a fun exciting Christmas gift opening experience, getting essentials and 2nd hand items.  For my boys I planned to get a few things but I know realistically theirs would be very inexpensive items.  It was not the quality much less the quantity that I wanted to provide to my children. I knew I would have to give what I could give not what I wanted to give. Mentally, I braced myself because I was disappointed.  After all, Christmas is about lots of presents under the tree right?  Certainly not!  That was when I stopped myself, because I realized I was trapped in my negative thoughts toward my circumstances.  

My children did not really need a bunch of toys, extravagant gifts, or video games.  Although I’m sure they would have thought it would be nice to receive them.  The things they needed for the most part they had already. God had provided us with a home, time together, and love.  Those things we had in abundance.  Nothing else mattered.  

It was only in my mind that they mattered.  I needed to adjust my perspective.  This year, this Christmas would be different, perhaps better because on Christmas morning instead of being engrossed in a bunch of items they would lose or break within a month of receiving them, they would get to focus on quality time together.  That year we had bonded as a family in great ways, ways that would not fade with disinterest or time.  Memories that would remain with my children long after this sparse year had passed.  

So I set my mind on contentment and being grateful.  Focusing on time with family and moments of considering each other.  Sure, it is unpleasant to be broke at Christmas, if you let it bother you.  I knew that I would have to walk in that contentment by choice and remind myself of what really mattered more than once. We tend as humans to need to be reminded multiple times.  

In all sincerity I did not want anyone to get anything for the kids on my behalf or to ask for assistance. Not just because of pride but because it would mean I was missing the point.  They didn’t need the stuff.  This year we would receive the best gift of all, each other’s undivided love and attention, treasured moments, and a simple Christmas.   

So, I look forward to this Christmas and every one after.  God and all he has given already was enough for us and I had and will have no reason for anything but joy on that most anticipated day.  Set your mind to joy, not in what you are being given or in what you are giving, but instead let your joy be in the promise and hope of the Savior. In the love of your family and friends. Know that our precious Emmanuel who came to be God with us is here and who we celebrate on Christmas day.  Find fun with those in your life he has placed with you.  Enjoy every moment no matter how humble and may that contentment shine like a banner of God’s faithfulness and love to others. This Christmas choose contentment.