I know it’s true that our feelings are not actually reality, but they sure do feel like it. I know I’m also not alone in wishing sometimes that I just didn’t have any feelings because feeling can be well, to put it politely, hell. If I let myself sit, I can get lost in my thoughts and in my feelings. I can begin to believe in a lie and get stuck in a downward spiral. It’s a dangerous thing to do. 

I find that as people, we have typical patterns of thoughts that we run through in those moments. Now for each person I know it’s a little different because it’s based on your own fears, doubts, insecurities, or anxieties. So, there’s no patented kind of destructive thought pattern.  However, there is a way to deal with all of these false and harmful thoughts.  Deal with them we must because they hold us down, even though they are so very diverse and a bit different for each of us. 

Today, I would like to look at how we fight this battle we all face. How do we handle this space of contemplation that is negative and damaging. The answer is actually quite simple. The action will be the same no matter your pattern of thoughts or the issues that you deal with. The action you have to take is the action of seeking truth and speaking truth. You recognize your thoughts and feelings are not reality or even truth.  You search for the truth. Then you speak truth to whatever thoughts are trying to overwhelm you.

For me this plays out very often because I’m single and when I go to bed at night, I go to bed alone. So, I have moments where I deal with my own personal demons and memories. My pattern usually goes like this. I’ll remember that I’m alone and then my brain will trigger thoughts of how I am the reason that I’m alone. Or I’ll contemplate how I should find someone but I’m not looking, so it’s all my fault once again that I’m alone. Or I will wonder why I would ever want anyone because I’ve never been able to find gold when I look for love, only aluminum. I feel like aloneness is a curse of some kind that I’m plagued by and that everyone else finds love but me.  These not truths, they are just feelings. I’ll sit there and become obsessed with the thoughts of my singleness and find myself depressed and discouraged.  Instead of being contented which is how I feel most of the time. I’ll edge towards discontentment and frustration over the state that I perceive myself to be in because I’m listening to a lie and half-truths. These thought patterns are negative and destructive and need to be reset. 

The truth is that there’s nothing wrong with my singleness, it’s not a deficiency. There’s actually a lot of benefits to my singleness. I have freedom to choose what I want to do when I want to do it. I am not being hurt by a relationship which has been a problem for me in the past. I have a great support system from friends that love me so it’s not as if I’m desperate for companionship. I am loved and cared for so why would I believe the lie. All the negative feelings and the lies of guilt, regret, and lonely thoughts seems to be my worst enemy nightly as I lay in bed alone. Yet I realize now that I am not powerless in this fight.  There is a change that can happen, and it has nothing to do with my relationship status and everything to do with my mindset.  Truth must be spoken into my situation. I need to find the truth and speak it to the lie that I am alone.  

My truth is that I’m not alone because God is with me. My truth is that there’s so many benefits to my singleness. My truth is that I am loved even if I am not loved by a significant other. My truth is that where I am is in a great place even if it’s not where everybody else is or even if it’s not exactly where I want to be. It’s still a good place. I remind myself of scripture about how God is with me, how he’s formed me, and how he will sustain me here where I am, even in my singleness. So, speaking these truths from God’s word encourages my soul in moments when I would otherwise feel discouraged, stressed, or frustrated over my situation because of my own negative thought patterns.

Whatever your damage is, whatever your negative thought pattern is, or whatever that lie that takes you to that dark place of condemnation and regret, (You know that place.  The place of the what ifs and why nots) you can identify the lie and choose to see the truth.  You can speak truths that bring life and light into the darkness of that pattern that has haunted you, no matter how long you’ve been stuck there.

Don’t settle or give up.  Don’t believe the lies our enemy whispers. Don’t be defeated by a feeling that is not the truth about the reality of who you are and whose you are. Remember today who you are as a believer in Christ. Remember today the promises that God has made to you. Speak life and truth and hope. Don’t despair. 

Remember the sun is always shining even above the rain clouds. Even when you can’t see it. The truth is there to find always, you just have to search for it. I challenge you to not continue to listen to the lie that the enemy is trying to depress you and discourage you with. I challenge you to seek the truth from God and to seek encouragement from his word. You can find peace and rest from the negative and destructive thought patterns in your life. You can reset them with God’s help and change them to instead a pattern of encouragement and truth. 

It may not be easy; you may have to ask others for some ideas about what the truth is from time to time.  However, when you’re brave enough and courageous enough to take on these demons and those lies, you will finally find true freedom and victory. Stop running from your demons, turn around, and look the enemy straight in the eye while you speak freedom and life-giving truth. That’s all we need to do to have victory. Break free from a negative pattern and start a new one of hope and peace.