I’ve never been a person who has wanted to need anything from anyone. I know that sounds like wisdom in some respects because it is good to be independent and try to take care of your own problems, right? Yet I’m coming to realize that there’s a negative side effect to this kind of self-reliance and independence. The negative is that I can’t always fix things, and sometimes things aren’t all right. There are many times that on my own and from within myself, I don’t know what to do. However, because I’m not accustomed to asking for assistance, I don’t. Then I find myself in sticky situations or with problems left unresolved because I don’t want to seek help. When I write these things about myself, I really don’t like it because who likes to face the truth about their weaknesses. Yes, this is a weakness whether you would agree or not. You see any character trait or behavior pattern that leaves you in a deficient state where you can’t meet a required solution in the way you are proceeding, or the performance of your life is altered in a negative way is a weakness. Basically, I could have but I ask not. Why?

In an effort to appear strong and invulnerable, I don’t present problems to other people for them to assist with.  I choose not to appear outwardly like I have any real issues. So when help doesn’t come, I have no one to blame but myself.  How many times do we put ourselves in this place thinking it’s strength when in actuality it is a weakness.  It takes strength to know when to lean.  Wisdom to know whom to lean on.  

We need to learn, both you and myself, how to be more open and honest about our challenges and struggles. We may never enjoy asking for assistance or being open when we have a need and need support, but we must learn we were not meant to bear our burdens alone. 

This was on my mind because today I found myself in a wonderful situation. Typically, I think people look to me to be the strong one, but really, I’m not. That doesn’t mean I’m not competent or able or intelligent it just means that I’m not superwoman. Life’s challenges and difficult situations have worn me down and not always brought out the most positive side of me. This is not about beating myself up it’s about being honest because I don’t have to be strong and it’s enough that I’m strong in the Lord. Having said that though, the situation I found myself in is that a friend at church has been reaching out and mentoring me. Offering me advice to help me with some of the things I struggle with. People don’t do that for me. Maybe they don’t think I will welcome it, but I would. I get tired of trying to carry the load alone and figure out how to resolve things especially when they’re things I don’t know how to make better.

I was amazed and humbled when I realized that this was the third time, she’s either done, given, or advised something that has been completely helpful to me. It’s overwhelming and it makes me feel so very loved that she would care for me. She’s not doing anything that other people would consider amazing but it’s amazing to me, because it shows me that someone cares about me and considers my needs.

Part of the reason for the strong persona I often project is that I’ve been involved in ministry that’s out in the front for most of my adult life. I play the piano, guitar and I sing. I don’t think it’s anything amazing because there’s a lot of people who can do that as well. Yet because of my talents many times I’m not able to go to Sunday school because that’s when practice is, or not readily available to bond with fellow churchgoers because I’m busy preparing for the Sunday worship. I also think that it gives people some kind of false idea about me because all they see is the music that God has gifted me with, but they don’t actually see me. Maybe you’re like me and you’ve spent a lot of your life in the front because the gifts that God gave you put you there and you find yourself feeling that same distance from others. Because others think that you’re strong or spiritual they don’t recognize your challenges and your struggles. My friend had gone out of her way just to speak to me and get to know me. So, I was honest with her about my challenges and she in turn didn’t just pray for me, she acted. I’m not saying that prayer is not powerful because it is. Yet she went on to actually do something to minister to me in a practical way.

I’m not used to receiving because most of my life is about giving to others. That is what you do in ministry. Today though, I have received again love and care from a fellow sister in Christ. Now I sit contemplating my Godly sister in Christ and how she’s being the hands and feet of Jesus to me. 

I think there’s something that we can all learn from my dear friend. God calls us to love people practically. When we love people practically, they know they are seen, they know they are cared for, and they know they are loved. It could be as simple as a note to say thank you or I’m thinking about you. Perhaps a phone call out of the blue saying, “Hey, you are on my mind, and I just wanted to know if you needed anything to pray about today.” Or perhaps attending in conversation to see if there’s any concerns or needs or ways that you can support them. Remember scripture tells us to bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. My friend was bearing my burden, and it made me feel lighter.

We are all called to minister to each other and those around us. There is none of us that is strong enough to be able to face all of life and its challenges without the love and encouragement from our fellow believers and from those around us. My friends, let’s be Jesus to each other. 

Interestingly enough, this is coming at a time in my life when I’m middle-aged, but I vividly remember when I was a teenager and struggling, God sent me a friend. She invited me to her home after church on Sundays, she took me to revivals, she invited me and all of my friends for meals and get togethers where we could talk about God, receive encourage, and fellowship together. I would not be who I am today had it not been for my dear sister in Christ who mentored me. We need to get back to that as a church. We are called to mentor each other. Those who have gone before and have fought the good fight can encourage others in ways to stay strong and to face the challenges that they’re going through. Maybe a little Godly wisdom for young parents who are struggling with the how to be a parent. Maybe just someone to watch the young ones so their parents can have a night to rest or a pat on the back telling them how wonderful they’re doing even though it’s not easy. It doesn’t have to be expensive or overly time-consuming actions. But when we invest ourselves in the lives of those around us through mentorship or encouragement, we are making a life giving and a life changing move. We are literally serving Christ by serving each other. That’s what he has called us to do.

I’m thankful to my friend reminded me that I’m seen, and that I am loved through her generous encouragement, and I don’t even think she realizes how much it means to me. For somebody who never asked for help, to be so generously loved and offered encouragement, it means the world. Remember there are many people like me who don’t ask, so look closer and love deeper.I challenge you, to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those around you within the body of Christ. To not assume that others don’t need the validation and the encouragement that you could easily give. Instead look carefully at the needs of those around you and in practical, even simple ways, live out your faith actively as you serve them. Whether it’s through mentorship, discipleship, or friendship use the opportunities that God has given you to love others lavishly.