Devotions For Real Life

God moments, lessons learned, and hope for the journey

Look for a new post every Sunday. My hope is you find encouragement, wisdom for real life moments, and share them with others who may benefit from any of the posts.

  • Nothing Has Gone Wrong

    My friend gave me a list of statements of affirmation and asked me to look at them and see which one spoke to me. I would memorize these and say them like a mantra to encourage myself. Some of the things I’ve written recently are because of those statements. When I first looked at the list and I read number one it said this, “nothing has gone wrong”.  I stopped and I couldn’t get past it. Because it seems impossible to believe this statement. All kinds of things have gone wrong in my life. Or have they?

    Have you ever been hiking? You know most hiking trails are not smooth straight paths, instead they have to wind around obstacles and different land structures that you can’t traverse. There’s also not just one level generally you’re going up in elevation and down so there’s challenge along the way. Now if you choose instead to go walking in a city around let’s say at a lake. I live in Lakeland and there is a lot of lakes as the name of the city indicates. These are kind of well-worn paths that are flat because we’re in Florida so there’s not as much elevation. You just go in a circle, nice, even, and smooth, on the sidewalk. So here you see two kinds of paths. One a path where there’s challenge and obstacles and honestly, it’s a higher difficulty level. And then you see another path which also can be travelled yet it’s smooth and easy. 

    I’m starting to realize that my life was never meant to be that sidewalk path and that’s not wrong because it wasn’t meant to be that. It’s not a mistake.  You see saying that nothing has gone wrong isn’t saying that life was the way I thought it should be. That statement nothing has gone wrong doesn’t mean that everything has gone the way I think it should go or been easy. It’s simply indicating that the way it has gone is the way it was supposed to go. That is hard to accept sometimes, all the time really but I need to accept this. I am the hiking trail. I’m not the smooth path. My life was never meant to be this from A to B, easy experience, instead it was meant to have challenges and God knew about this. This isn’t a series of mistakes that he didn’t anticipate, he knew where the rock would be in the trail.  He knew the path would have to wind around obstacles in certain places. He knew where a bridge would have to be built because there was a waterway that couldn’t be avoided.  He knew where there would have to be some kind of natural formation of steppingstones because I would have to find a way up to rise above.  He knew everything before. Nothing went wrong in my life, nothing was a surprise to God, nothing was out of what he knew would happen. All of it both the good and the bad, the positive and the negative, the easy and the extremely difficult is all working to take me closer to where he intended me to be. Maybe it’s not the path I would have chosen, it is the path my actions took me on. Still having said that nothing went wrong.

    Now I’m not saying that God intends for us to go through every situation that we’re in. Some of the situations that we’re in it’s because of our own choices. Actually, most of them are because of our own choices.  However, he knew that we were going to take that route ahead of time and he planned for it. None of it surprises him. This is mind boggling to me, and maybe to you as well, because I want to look at the mistakes I’ve made as wrong moves, but God doesn’t see it that way. Instead, every single step has in some way caused me to grow and mature.  They have all moved me to experience things I needed to experience. This is not what you want to hear is it. You want to hear that God intends our life after we give our heart to him to be this beautiful lake sidewalk path easy to walk and move forward in. I’m here to tell you that this is not the reality that we face. Although everything doesn’t always go right, nothing has gone wrong.

    Because God can take everything and somehow twist it for your good. That’s another phrase that comes down a little further on my list. Both of these truths work together and when combined offer a beautiful statement: nothing has gone wrong, and God will use every twist and turn for my good. He will work it all out ultimately to bring me closer to his heart, to strengthen me, and he does it with me, I don’t have to do it alone. Even when I make my bed in the depths, he’s with me. You see even when I’ve turned and gone my own way he stayed and remained and lovingly drew me back to the better path. But even those wayward times, God uses them and makes them right and makes them something that brings about growth and good in my life. Because of my divorce I learned that I serve a God who will be to me everything I need whether it’s a father or a husband or a lover or a friend. He taught me but there’s no pain or heartache that he can’t mend and heal. He showed me that he was faithful even when I was not. When I’ve stopped and gone my own way, he showed me time and again that he can bring me back and that he’s always drawing me. What a testimony to me of God’s faithfulness and love. I’m not going to look back on my life with regret and be consumed with what ifs that really don’t matter. I’m not going to look back and say those were wrong and that those things never should have been because they were but they’re not where I am now. And all of those things even the ones that were hard or negative or difficult were working in me, they were growing me.

    So, I can boldly stand today and tell you that nothing has gone wrong and that every twist in my life God has turned ultimately for his glory and for my good. I hope that you grab a hold of this and say the same. Life is not fair, it is not easy, and it does not make any sense. None of our roads are ever going to be that beautiful smooth level sidewalk life. Our journeys are often arduous uphill climbs with a lot of obstacles and challenges along the way.

    We do not walk alone, as a believer we do not walk in our own strength, and we can keep our head held high and walk forward in faith because we know that he will direct our steps. Even when we step off the path or maybe lose our way, we know he can bring us back. 

    Let me tell you a secret. Have you ever been at a really high point, and you look out and you can see the whole path you took to get there. It’s really an amazing experience. When you were in the middle of that journey you certainly couldn’t have imagined the beauty and the blessing that you would get when you’re at that lookout point, and you can see where you come from. You don’t stand there and look back and criticize the path instead you look at the beauty and feel amazed that you made it to where you are. That’s what I want to challenge you to do today. Instead of looking back and being frustrated at the path that was taken or the twist and turns made along the way.  I challenge you to find joy because no matter the way you went or what you faced, you are where you are now, not where you were.  You have made it further down road. So, keep walking forward, there may be a lookout point up ahead when you can celebrate the journey not regret it.  Just set your face and your eyes on him and remind yourselves nothing has gone wrong and that no matter what you face everything God will twist and turn for your good. Be affirmed today by that. I know I am.

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  • Everywhere I Look I See Miracles

    Everywhere I look I see miracles. For most of my life till adulthood I lived in Florida. Due to the fair skinned nature that I was born with I have not always enjoyed the outside or the sun. Yes, I know it is beautiful, but the heat has kept me inside. Lately though, in an effort to get fit, I have taken up walking several times a day, throughout the day. Morning, afternoon, and evening. There was something I was missing by not getting out for all of those years. So many miracles and beautiful things.

    In the morning, I hear the birds singing such a sweet song. And each bird makes unique music that’s so lovely. It is amazing to think that no one else is walking at that moment or noticing the beauty of that song but I got to hear it. In those moments I know but that sweet melody is a miracle, and it was just for me. What a blessing! That little bird, surviving in our suburban jungle, still thriving, and singing. What a testimony a beautiful witness.

    The bees buzz around in the flowers beside the sidewalk. Even more amazing are the little flowers or weeds really that grow and offer their loveliness to me as I walk on my way. What a miracle! In the afternoon the dragonflies hover in large groups, looking beautiful and reminding me of what they represent change and transformation period they represent adaptability and self-realization. Speaking of transformation, I see butterflies as well. Small white ones, once with bright colors, all of them flitting among the gardens and plants that I walk by. Even the vision of the wind blowing through the trees and the vegetation is just stunning. Everywhere I look when I go on my walks, I see miracles. Yes, I recognize the blessings that I receive from the sight of all of the beauty of nature around me is truly a miracle.

    Not only is this sight of all that I see a miracle, not only is the sound of nature beautiful to take in, but there are other amazing things. Other blessings and miracles in nature around me. One of them is the lovely aromas that I get to smell. I walked by a few rose bushes, in bloom the fragrance waves towards you so pleasing. Honeysuckles grow on a gate I walk past, the sweet fragrance is a gift to me, a gift that I receive that by so many others goes completely unnoticed. That’s the amazing thing all of these things that I see, that I smell, and that I hear oftentimes goes unnoticed by everyone else in the world around me. Only a few get to receive these blessings. Why is that? I’ll get to that in a minute.

    Because I don’t want to forget to mention the other miracles I see such as the sun rises, the amazing cloud sculptures which appear as luminous structures in the sky, the gentle breeze that comes just at the right time, and the shade trees that offer a reprieve from the heat of the day. So many miracles I see everywhere on my walking adventures.

    I know for many people they see other beautiful, lovely things. They are walking in the different places then I’m walking geographically. They may see pristine white snow-covered landscapes, mountain streams and waterfalls, fall colors painting the world around them with absolute loveliness, hummingbirds, seagulls, the vast dynamic ocean, and the amazingly endless and ever-changing night sky. So much beauty in the world around us whether it’s through the sights or the sounds or the smells or the experiences we can have in it, so many miracles and blessings. Yet we miss so much of those blessings and miracles because we are in a hurry.

    See that’s why, we miss it in our rush to just get through life. What a great tragedy that we miss blessings that are just there for the taking if we only choose to receive them, to take the time to receive them. I have heard it said “take time to smell the roses”. Yes, stop and take time to enjoy the loveliness in nature around you, in your unique nature around you. Wherever you live there are things that are beautiful whether it’s the night sky, the beauty of the morning, and the vegetation that fights to grow in rough places. I challenge you to take notice today. Miracles and blessings are everywhere, and you just have to see it, feel it, observe it, and look around a bit. Stop and take it in. It’s for you a blessing.

    For me these are reminders of the God who made all of it, who cares for it, who longs to redeem it and bring it back into perfection again. He delights in it, and we should delight in it also. Looking at nature should remind us of him. So, get out and look around, rest in the tranquility of the beauty wherever you are in the nature around you.

    Now I know what you’re thinking, is this biblical? Does this really matter for believers? Yes, it does. Job 12:7 through 10 declares that the beasts and birds teach us. That the bushes/the plants and even fish teach us. It’s declares “in his hand is a life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.” In Psalms 175: 5 it says” on the glorious splendor of your majesty and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.” Or in Psalms 8:3 through 4 “when I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him.” You see these amazing miracles are a testimony of God’s amazing love for all of us. That the God who would take such care to make such beauty for our enjoyment and delight would still care for us. It’s an astounding mystery, something that’s hard to even fathom but when we look around us we are reminded of how terribly small, we are and how amazing it is that our great God would love us even though we’re so insignificant. Like the grass of the field here today gone tomorrow yet he loves us. Each one of us.

    It is true as it says in Revelations 4:11, “Worthy are you, oh Lord and God, to receive glory and honor, and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed, and were created.” He created it all to teach us, to show us, to delight us, so let’s be consumers in a new way. Let us consume through our senses the beauty around us. Let us see the miracles and the blessings he’s created us for what they are. Let us learn from nature the lessons of provision and God’s amazing design.

    It’s a choice to see the miracles, and I hope you take the opportunities to choose to change your point of view. The miracles and the blessings are there for you if you let yourself receive them today.

  • Not What I Expected

    Things are not at all what I expected. Not today, not this last year, or the last decade, or even really my whole life. I sit in bed tonight contemplating and having to take melatonin to help me sleep. Why because so many things keep running through my head, I can’t calm my mind. I wish I had learned how to do this because it seems others have it mastered.  Or have they?

    I was thinking about my day. If I’m being brutally honest, a lot of it was frustrating. I had work meetings, where I’m having to coordinate and workout situations. On one we were supposed to have something ready today and it’s not. I had to be the bearer of bad news for the client. Delays are never appreciated. So, I thought I’ll improve my day by getting out, so I went and visited with my parents. I spent some time with my mom at the beauty salon, it was OK at least I got to be with her. Then we went back to her house, and she made dinner. It became obvious that my dad was not in the best of moods. He has very strong political beliefs and I brought up the wrong subject. I also had a shorter fuse, so my children’s small behaviors were getting on my nerves. I made the mistake of correcting them in front of my father. When my son did not immediately respond to my correction, my dad proceeded to say what he would do to my son if he did not listen, he was parenting my son and doing so harshly, like he had parented me. I had to bite my tongue.  It’s my place to discipline my children, I didn’t need a defender, and also the harshness is a reminder of the pain of my childhood. I had forgiven my father for all of the painful humiliating and cruel punishments of my childhood because they’re gone and done, and forgiveness is the right thing to do after all there’s no changing what happened. So, I forgive and let go in order to not be captive to my troubled past.  Yet I had resolved that I won’t let that be the reality for my children. Although I could not protect myself, I could protect them. When my father gets in moods like that it’s best just to leave quickly in order to avoid painful reminders that trigger protective angry reactions.  I choose the better part of valor, so we left right after dinner. 

    After trudging through target to get a few needed items, and picking up a bottle of wine while I was listening to my sons bicker with each other, maybe I shouldn’t have admit that but it’s the truth. I finally got home. Time to rest right? No, my sons new cell phone had to be activated, since he’s waited 13 years for a cell phone, he didn’t want to wait another day. So, I spent my Friday evening at home frustratingly trying to get the cell phone activated and set-up. The whole time I just wanted to scream because I’m tired, sometimes I feel like I’m always tired. Like I wake up that way and go to bed that way. It’s not that the day was a bad day, honestly it could have been worse, it was just OK. Like a lot of my days. Maybe you have a lot of days like that too.  Routine, full of obligations to fulfill, frustrations coming from relationships and situations, and life.  It would be easy to look at the reality and get depressed or tired.  To want to vent and complain, after all there was a lot that happened that day, that happen every day for us all really. Yet as I sat here contemplating, I realized something important.  I am still blessed, and I can choose thankfulness, even in this moment.  I can be thankful in this OK, long day. 

    As I laid in bed, with tears flowing down my face, writing this. God brought to mind a conversation I’d had with my son just a few days ago. We were talking about finances, I’m not sure how we got on that subject. My car was having a few issues of late, and I had to pay for them, that may be how it came up. However, the subject was introduced into the conversation, we discussed finances. I was saying to him that it wasn’t reasonable to get a newer or new car at the time because prices were high with the economy in recession. So, I would just have to stick it out for a while. My ex-husband, his father somehow came into the conversation. I think maybe my son mentioned that his dad would put extra money aside to invest, and that’s wise. But all I could hear was that his dad had money to set aside, when I knew how much was in my bank and it wasn’t much.  I knew how little I was able to save because there were constant expenses with the kids. Whether it was clothes or doctors’ bills or just regular bills that we accrue such as groceries. It’s expensive to be a parent. Hearing that my ex-husband would have extra money to invest and knowing he had a new truck while my vehicle was aging and breaking, I had a few weak moments.  Moments where I thought or felt envious of what I perceived as his better situation. I had to stop myself because the truth is I had a great deal to be thankful for even if I did not have what I perceived him as having.. I was much more blessed than I was in need.  Pulling back from my initial bitter thoughts and words I changed course, and I told my son that I needed to remember everything I did have instead of thinking about what I didn’t. I also admitted that I needed to only look inward at my attitude and not outward at what someone else has or doesn’t have.  This was a moment I realized I needed to check myself.

    Sitting here in my bed tonight, thinking about my day, and feeling down about it, wallowing in pity if you will, I realized I needed to check myself again. What am I doing thinking about the way I think things should be or how the day should have gone. I’ve had a friend who’s been in the hospital for 35 days and almost died. I might not have had the perfect day, but I wasn’t in the hospital sick. Putting myself in the victim position to somehow prove that I’m in a bad place so I can feel sorry for myself is not the right attitude. What I did have today was a job that I can make enough at to pay my bills and not only that but even have a little leftover to do things that I might like sometimes. The kids might cost a lot of money and be an expense but praise God I make enough to support my family and my kids are worth it the effort. Maybe I don’t have very much saved but, my future is not secure because of an account with a bunch of money in it, it’s secure because it’s in God’s hands. Finally, maybe my father has become a grumpy old man, but he’s alive for me to visit. It has been said that money doesn’t buy happiness, so I also know that even though others might have more than me, or a nicer car, that doesn’t mean that they are any happier than I am.  Additionally, it doesn’t mean that they are more blessed than I am, or they are somehow more loved by God than I am. I need to get over myself and stop coveting, and instead choose thankfulness.

    The truth is, what is – just is, that’s my life and my circumstances.  These are both out of my control all too often.  My attitude towards them is my choice. Even when my life isn’t great, I can still choose a thankful spirit. To see through eyes of hope and knowing the good things I have been blessed with.

    These are not fun truths, but these are truths, nonetheless. Truths that we all must face in our lives, especially in the life of a believer.  Our peace, hope, and joy were never meant to be centered on the circumstances of our day, of the year, of the decade, or of our lifetime. What will our response be to this truth?  What will my response be? 

    I’m going to check myself, ask God to correct my attitude, ask him to help me keep my eyes on him and not on these silly things that I think matter in a moment but don’t really.  What are these momentary troubles in comparison to eternity that we will have with God. Maybe you’re like me, maybe it’s been a rough day or year or week. Maybe it’s been even worse for you, hellish even, but still the principle is the same. We don’t have to be victims of the circumstances of our life, or of our days. We could instead let the attitude and position of our heart be set by the Holy Spirit, by God himself. Set our faith toward Christ and trust, that’s our choice. 

    I told my other son we don’t get to choose how we die, not in this life, but we do get to choose how we live. And we don’t get to choose what life brings us either, but we can choose who we are in each of those moments. Rise above, let his peace, hope, and joy carry you and sustain you. Be unwavering and unchanging no matter what is happening around you. Keep doing it every day, on the days when everything is right as rain, or on the days when it is darkest. Remember there is no place so dark that his light cannot penetrate it.  The peace of God doesn’t waver as it covers you. The hope for a bright future and a home with Christ forever and the joy that we know is set before us are our strength and hope. These truths don’t change, fade, or diminish.  And there is one more important thing to remember. I know I’ve written about it before but it’s true. When Peter was walking on water he sank when he looked at the waves. I think that’s what I’ve made a mistake on the last week, I’m looking at the waves. Instead, when Peter looked at Christ he walked on the water and did the impossible. It’s the same for me and you. When I look at Christ and keep my focus on him, I’ll be able to do the impossible as well as hold on to a peace that passes all understanding.  I will also have joy even in sorrow and endure/persevere even great hardship still always hoping. It sounds so simple right. We all know it is hard, but with God’s help we can because his strength is made perfect in our weakness. 

    God help me walk on the water and help me to only see you and not storm.  Enable me to remember your many blessings for me.  Remind me that you knew that I would take my eyes away sometimes and lose focus, but you were still there waiting for me to look back and reaching out your hand to pull me out of the water. Thank you, father, for loving me in every moment, in my best and in my worst, when I do it right and when I need to check myself.  I know you’re building character in me, and I praise you with a thankful heart.

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  • Strength from Struggle

    It seems like a great irony that we gain strength through struggle. I know we wish that we had strength some other way. Yet time and again in life we can see the truth of it, that struggle and opposition builds our strength when we push through and endure.

      How many times have you prayed God would make you stronger or that he would increase your faith or patience and you are shocked when he challenges you.  It’s like this.  If I wanted to get in shape and sat down with a personal trainer outlining what I need to shape up, to strengthen my body and improve my health.  How does the trainer accomplish this?  By challenging me.  He doesn’t really do the work in the sense that you have to move your muscles and believe in the process.  He gives you wisdom and guidance, perhaps encouragement and instructions.  You do the work. You grow strong as he challenges your body, your mind, and as he holds you accountable for living out better habits.  You pay a personal trainer to make things difficult so you can grow.  God is like that personal trainer.  He challenges us, helps us realize the need for different patterns.  He points our things that are inhibiting your growth and challenges you to push past limitations you have placed on yourself.  It is his work, but you are the one who moves.  He challenges and strengthens and encourages you to face each one head on.  We work in concert with Christ getting stronger.  

    So here I sit, having prayed that God would increase in me, that my faith would be stronger.  What do I get?  A life filled with challenges and obstacles.  After all, only troubles/trials require a miraculous solution.  All kinds of opportunities and chances to use my faith muscles.  However, I am not feeling like I’m at that excited beginning of the program feeling.  I’m at mile 16 and realizing that the finish line is nowhere in sight and that I’m somewhere in the middle.  Too far from the start to go back, but how do I keep going?  Instead of feeling stronger I feel ready to just say enough!  How can I keep on and find the strength to keep moving.

    Then I see it up ahead, the refreshing station.  Yes, every long distance race has them.  That is what I pray for.  I need respite!  I know that God has promised to not only accomplish the work but to sustain me in the meantime.  So I cry out for a refreshing, for a 2nd wind, for reminders of how he has already carried me so far.  I need a song in the night, and provision for this moment.  I need the faith to say that even here I believe and cling.  I have to keep wanting to grow even when it hurts.  And trust God to know how hard and how far to push me.  He is the only one who really knows.  And I need to keep asking him to keep challenging me till I am what he is working to create in me.  Not easy but necessary.

    Recently I was reminded that if you help a butterfly out of the cocoon out of pity, it will never fly.  God is not going to release us from our cocoon.  In his wisdom he knows we can only fly through struggle, we are developing strength in our wings to fly.  So I need to stop asking God to end my difficulties and my struggles in life and instead embrace them as opportunities to become a strong child of God, one that doesn’t fold when life is hard, because it will continue to challenge me.        

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  • A Winning Attitude

    Recently, my students have been facing a big test. There are real apprehensions and fears that normally occur with a test must be taken. Some people have such severe test anxiety that it causes them to shut down and not be able to focus or be successful on test.   This is a very real problem.  So as their teacher, I was trying to prepare them and help address any anxiety they had surrounding the testing that was coming.   

    In the face of a test, pessimism and negativity tear us down and discourages us. It causes us to believe that we will fail.  This leads to anxiety.  Anxieties not properly addressed, ignored, or dismissed can also lead to a negative outcome. So how do we deal with this test pressure, what can be done to successfully handle test anxiety?  

    I knew that although the students couldn’t change the fact that they need to take the test or that so many important things were dependent on passing the test. Yet I also knew that if they became overwhelmed by anxiety the anxiety could trigger poor performance.  Thereby being a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Thinking you will fail, and then allowing it to overwhelm you which causes you to fail or not even try. So, what should they do, what can help relieve these anxiety and take the pressure off? 

    What they can change is their attitude towards the test. They needed to realize that they could pass it.  They could be successful.  A winning attitude, that’s what they need. What do I mean? I’m not speaking of an unrealistic expectation, or a denial of reality. I’m also not speaking of pretending that they are winners no matter what because they must face the possibility of failure. I’m talking about knowing that you can, knowing that you have been equipped, knowing if you give 100% and you do your best and prepare, then you will have success. Even great athletes will visualize the victory. They will see themselves crossing the finish line long before they reach it.  They will dream of receiving the accolades and rewards after crossing that finish line. They practice and condition their bodies as well to prepare. I told my students that you can’t remove the challenge, but you can change your attitude towards a challenge, instead of fear have faith and boldness. Faith because you have prepared and are ready.  Boldness and courage to act in spite of your fears or anxieties. 

    I know you also need to prepare both athletes and anyone else who faces any kind of a race or test must prepare. But even with preparation you fight negativity and the thoughts that maybe you can’t.  Thoughts that maybe you could fail. This applies in Christian life as well. Is Christian life really so different? Don’t we go through tests and trials? Try a new attitude, don’t cower or fear the inevitable, the challenges and tests that life will bring, stand firm instead.  Prepare so you will be ready.  Finally, visualize your victory because we have already received it. Christ won it. Did Paul not admonish us to do the same and counted all joy? Don’t dread the test, prepare and boldly seek for the victory!

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  • Like a Child

    There is a well-known picture on many church walls. It’s the picture of Jesus sitting surrounded by group of children.  One sitting on his lap, all the children intently listening and Christ looking at them with kindness and love. This is an iconic picture. It demonstrates that Christ loved the little children, that he welcomed them. Contrary even to how his own disciples saw them, as bothers or as disrupted to their plans and agenda. Christ looked and saw something different indeed. The disciples would have sent the children away, but Jesus welcomed them and said suffer the little children to come to me. Or in modern terms let the children come to me, do not stop them, but let them come. 

    Christ saw value in these that others saw as insignificant. Over and over, he sought out the least of these in scripture. He sought out the disabled, the sick, the outcast and yes, the children. What does this mean for us as believers as Christ followers? If Christ is our example what implications does this have for us and how we should live? 

    First, what the world sees as insignificant is significant to God. How many times does it say in scripture that the wisdom of God is foolishness to man. It’s like God perspective and view is in complete contrast to how the world operates, how they view things. If you don’t believe me look at examples from scripture. Gideon, who God called the mighty man of valor was hiding when God called him. David was seen as so insignificant that he was not even called in from the fields to meet Samuel when Samuel was looking for the one who God wanted him to anoint as future king. Surely David was not the one that God would want. Rehab was a prostitute, yet she was instrumental in God’s plan to take Jericho and God spared her. Esther wasn’t seen as significant as a woman, but God spared her, using her to display his glory before kings and nations at the time. The nation was spared because of her.  Moses was put in a Wicker basket, abandoned and then re adopted, and murdered a guard. He made so many errors and he ran. When God called him from the burning bush, he told God I can’t even speak, I stutter, yet God provided Arron and still accomplished his work through Moses. Paul formerly Saul murdered Christians and called himself the chief of all sinners. He wrote most of the New Testement. On and on, over and over in the Bible, the ones who are called and are used, highlighted by God if you will are insignificant, faulty people. They were chosen by God to shine his light through. They were not people that anyone else would have chosen but God saw value in the insignificant, in the disabled, in the sick, in the outcast. 

    Mary, Jesus’ mother, was just a girl, but God called her highly favored among women. Do you think Mary felt that way about herself. No, she was just a girl, willing to have God use her as he saw fit. So, it should be pretty clear that what man sees as insignificant and unimportant, useless even or perhaps just less than. Those things that are unworthy in the world eyes God sees as significant, important, useful, greater than and worthy. Perhaps it is something to do with the humble state of those souls, that place where they’re depending on God, and any glory gained goes to God. It’s obvious that it was God doing the work, it was all for God glory, God is highlighted in the stories. It says in proverbs that God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble, he esteems and raises up and promotes humility. Back to my original point, Christ welcomes the children. This is completely in line with who God is and how he promotes and views people. 

    The second thing we can learn from Christ welcoming the children is we learn about God’s love.  You see children have such a great capacity to love.  It is uninhibited and given with abandoned. Just like God’s love.  You see this played out when Jesus goes on to say in Matthew 18 who is greatest in heaven? He answers here’s the truth you have to change and be like a child, this is the only way to enter heaven. What does that mean? Kind of like Nicodemus’s question “how can a man be born again? How can we become children again?” What it is not saying is that we are going to go back, we cannot become again what we once were as children.  We can not regain our innocence and vivacious energy that has long since gone for most of us at this point in our lives. For some people their youth was stolen from them.  For other time and experience caused it to fade. So is God requiring the impossible? I could not return to my childhood; I cannot gain back what time and life has taken from me. None of us can. That is not what he is asking. 

    What Jesus is saying though is to become like a child. What does that mean? Well, it’s the second thing we learn about children. Children are born trusting that their caretakers have their best at heart. At least if it’s done right. I know, in our warped world many children learn a very different lesson. It breaks my heart truly that so many children have been abandoned and abused. There is no end to how suffering has affected so many children in our fallen society, people warped and broken perpetuate the abuse. It is a vicious and heart-breaking cycle. And I pray that God will return soon and end it. 

    Yet children typically ask when they need, without shame. They trust and see their parents as able. They lean and depend on their parents. This is what I believe the scripture is referring to when it says to be like a child. It’s referring to that trust, but this time trusting in God. Trusting that God is who he says he is, depending on God to be all that we need, asking him as we have needs knowing that he will provide for us. That’s what it meant. Being willing to come to Christ with full trust and acceptance and anticipation.

    So, we learned God’s idea of significance greatly differs from that of the world and that we should live like that. See through his eyes. Do you feel like your efforts for God only matter if they are to people the world values? Instead, give, love, live and serve the least of these. That is who God has called us to serve. Consider your own approach to God, lean in with no shame, seek him, ask of him, trust in him, as his children. At least we have the assurance that God is a good father, so when we come as a child to him, we will not be disappointed. What will the picture be like of heaven when one day we, his children, are finally with him. We’ll be surrounding him, learning from him still, so similar to the picture of Christ with the children surrounding him, but with God’s glory and eternity to share. What a blessing! How amazing. Just as I am, as your child, I come, I come.

    For this Christ humbled himself and came as a child, he led the way by example. He was seen as insignificant. What does it say in Isaiah he had nothing in his appearance to attract him to us and instead served us. He became insignificant and served and loved the insignificant. Why? So, we could do the same, follow his example, love like he loved, come like he came, serve like he served his father. So, we could be children of God with him. God the father, God the son, and God the Holy Spirit joined together with us, his children forever. communion, unity, and a true complete family forever! That is the picture I dream of when I see the picture of Jesus with the children, it was a shadow of the full glory of what is to come. Can you see it too? Will you come as his child? Will you come vulnerable and humble? Don’t hesitate, he’s calling you.

  • My Father’s Eyes

    When I gaze upon the fragments of my life, I see no brilliant stars. It is ordinary, plain, and simple. There are those who differ from me; every moment of their existence is scrutinized. Yet, the seconds of my life pass unnoticed, or at least unnoticed by the world.

    I recall someone advising me not to take myself too seriously, reminding me that not everything revolves around me. Ironically, I’ve learned that nothing does. Children are naturally self-centered, believing the world revolves around them, but as we grow, we are supposed to outgrow this mindset. There are trillions of others. I am just a blade of grass swaying in the wind, as we all are. And that’s okay. Because even if no one else notices me, God does, and that’s what matters.

    He sees everything about me, even the number of hairs on my head and how many are turning grey. Not only does he notice me, but he also sees all the other blades of grass blowing in the wind, here today and gone tomorrow. He sees you and knows everything about you. We, the blades of grass, meant so much to him that he sent his only son. He sent his most precious child, a part of himself, as a sacrifice for our salvation. How amazing.

    So now I can only pray. Though my days may be few, I will live them for him. Though they may pass unnoticed by many, I know they are noticed by the one who matters. The eyes I want to notice my soul are already watching me from above, my father’s eyes. He sees you too. I pray you feel his gaze and his love for you today.

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  • Companionship, A Deep Dive

    I have written previously about how we are meant to have a faithful companion; Christ filling the God space in all of us. Also, I wrote of how we need people and human companionship. After all even God said it’s not good for man to be alone. Here are a few points of clarification I need to add.

    We might need companionship, but it is not always in the same form. In singleness there is companionship. In marriage there is companionship. Neither situation is better than the other. Both states are blessings from the Lord and his grace is available to us in both. Think of it, there are ministry opportunities, and companionship opportunities that a single person will have that a married person does not. It’s the same in reverse. The point is important to note because I think people see one of the states as superior to the other one. But there is not a better status. I have been both single, married, in a relationship, and single with children (complicated as my friend jokes).  In each of those states I have been happy content, and unhappy/discontent. Pain and rejection have been experienced in both states. Loneliness has been experienced in both states, yes, I was lonely even when I was married. Also, whether I was single or married I have had growth, opportunity, and love. So, the idea that if I was married I would have it all is an illusion or if I were single, I would only have to take care of myself. So silly how we always covet the other situation. The truth is each of those states whether single or married are different, not better, just different. They have their own sets of issues, complications, and benefits. Both states require work to be lived well. 

    In marriage you work on your relationship and serving each other. You work to build a home and a family together and to maintain it. In singleness you work to grow, to be the best that you can be, to build a life of friends and family, to network and make connections with others, parenthood, and battling loneliness. You see you must work in both. Married or single you will struggle in both situations, there is not one that is better than the other.

    Some people would argue that marriage has the benefit of partnership or sex, so it must be preferable. I have been married and I know many other people who have been married. It is rare that married people are completely satisfied with their partners or even their sex life. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. So, I’m not sure if sex can be seen as an advantage for married people. For many it’s a disappointment in marriage. 

    Others may argue that singleness is better. No one to answer to, and you get to do what you want, when you want and how you want. That’s wonderful right? Sure, until you need advice or must make every choice on your own and you would love for someone to talk it over with. Somebody equally invested in the matter. You may struggle to find someone to share this amazing freedom with, it can get lonely as a single.

    Why am I knocking both statuses – single and married? I want to demonstrate again that there is truly not a superior status, one is not easier to be in than the other. Whether you are married or single, in a relationship or on your own. Both have benefits, ironically the benefits can also become the greatest challenges. They also both have their difficulties. 

    If there is not a state that we should strive for because one isn’t any better than the other, then what do we do? Here’s an idea, maybe instead of working towards a state of being whether it be married or single, we need to work towards a state of mind. What state of mind you might ask? Peace and contentment within the state you are in. Instead of thinking that the grass is greener on the other side you should look down and understand that if you only tended your own yard it would be even more magnificent than the other one, you’re currently staring at. 

    I am not saying that you will remain in this state that you are in either. You may find yourself through death or divorce single again if you are married. Or if you are single now you may find love or choose to marry. Remember it is not the state or this status whether you’re married or single that matters, but instead it is your own mindset and attitude in it.

    First and foremost, Christ is the focus of our lives whether we’re married or single. We need God occupying that God place in us in order to have true contentment. Also, we need to have a community, to have the companionship of others as God noted. In both states this is needed, they may look a bit different, but it’s the same concept.  More than anything we need to realize that being married or being single is just the state that we live in. The position or condition of our heart is by far the most important issue in a believer’s life.

    As a believer, one and all, married and single, are working together as the body of Christ. We are working to serve each other and the world around us as we demonstrate Christ to each other. So married believers, pray for the single believers. Pray for them to have contentment in their lives and provision for their needs. Single believers, pray for the married believers. Pray for their families that God will strengthen their marriages, build contentment within their relationships, and provide for them. This isn’t one group versus another, we need to support each other, not envy each other, judge each other, or covet what the other group has. No God forbid we need to support and pray for each other.  Above all we need to learn to walk in contentment where we are no matter our state.

    All of us needs to understand one thing. In the end we will all stand before God alone. We will be covered in Christ with him as our advocate but no one else will stand with us, whether we were single or married in life, so live like that. Be covered in Christ, depend on God to be your righteousness. We are one in all equal in our struggle, our dreams, our fears, and our needs. Married or single or in some other state. So, thank God his grace covers us all, his peace that passes understanding is for us all, his wisdom for life and our situations is for us all, his salvation and strength is for us all. Live like that, love like that, and serve like that.

    Don’t worry over your status whether you’re single or married or otherwise. Instead check the focus of your mind and attitude of your heart, your soul’s focus. If they’re in the right place then you will find that whether you’re married or single, your situation will improve because your outlook and your attitude have. Here’s the thing, it was never about whether you were single or married, it was always about the most important relationship, your relationship with God. And how you live that relationship with him through your life either as a single person or a married person in response to and out of the love that Christ has shared with you. So the status you are going for – Dependent on Christ, Righteous in Him, Content where you are, and Walking in grace and while extending it to all others. Now that’s a state we can all strive for- no matter our marital status!

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  • Another Missing Piece, each other

    Recently I wrote about the part of us that only God can fill. This is the central missing puzzle piece. But are there more things we desire or need in life besides just a relationship with God. For sure, it’s true even when God occupies that space in us, still we need and want more. His companionship does not negate our need for connection, for others. Why am I bringing this up? Because I think we tell ourselves we are wrong for wanting more. Shouldn’t it be enough to have God? Is it wrong to want more? No, we are not wrong, weak or any of those things for wanting human companionship, we are simply human, and we are made in God’s image.

    Our perfect God made the perfect world, and he made man, but he did not stop there. He said, it is not good for men to be alone. Man, already had God at that time, but there was still another need, a place to fill for human companionship. Companionship such as friendship, family, and others. God provided Eve to Adam and through her they created family and community. Now I know this is a controversial topic. In our culture families come in all shapes and sizes. People have their opinions on others and on their families. I am not discussing that here. That is between you and the Lord. What I want to highlight is that even God recognized that people needed other human companionship and he provided it.

    It is not a weakness that we need others, it is part of the original design. Just a side note, as a woman this need has been compounded by the curse. I’m sure if you have sat in Sunday school you have heard the story. Adam and Eve sinned, and they received consequences. Adam would have to toil greatly to produce from the ground, there would be thorns weeds and pests. The ground would not easily yield up a harvest as it had originally done. This would only be done through great effort due to the curse. Eve on the other hand was cursed with pain in childbirth, thanks a lot Eve, and if that wasn’t enough of a curse, she received this curse – that her desire would be for her mate or her husband, and that he would rule over her. It was not meant to be that way originally. Sure, she was supposed to have a companion, but was more of a partnership and the relationship became warped due to the curse.

    So, we have men and women, not wanting to be alone, and women to a greater degree due to the curse desiring the man, the mate. So, we were made not only with a place that only God can fill but with a place that other human companionship is needed also.This is easily seen in music. So many songs about wanting, loving, wanting love, needing someone, on and on it goes.

    What do we do with this? How do we deal with this need for human companionship? For people like me who are single I don’t have access to that spouse or a wedded companion. I also want to say this is one of the places I had to talk with God about. So, you did make us with desire for others, others who like us fail. It’s like we are set up for a life of disappointment. This leaves me sitting here trying to work out how this makes sense. What do we do then, how do we live considering the knowledge that human companionship is something that we need, but is faulty. Especially for people like me who have been so hurt by our human companions.

    Yesterday I was discussing this with a friend, and I was wondering if our disappointment for what we do not have him can rob us of the joy of what we do have. Let me explain. How many times have you heard someone complain about their spouse or their companion. About the fact that their expectations are not being met. They lament over the companion that they have. They wish that they could have what they perceive someone else to have. I wish my husband or wife would… Like… because their spouse is perfect, they are not disappointed like I am. Or I wish I have the relationship that that other couple has, they are so In Sync, so in love. The reality is from the outside other people’s relationships appear to be what we are missing or what we need. But that’s an illusion, and probably not true. By spending our energy staring, envying others really, we lose the blessing of what we already have. You stopped working on your relationship, thereby causing so many of the issues that you’re lamenting about, that you think others have gotten right and you might possibly have if you had put the energy towards your relationship instead of complaining about it. Do you see it, are you getting what I’m saying? You could have a better relationship if you put aside the complaining and discontented energy and instead channeled it to positive energy used to make the most of the relationships that you have. Besides that, don’t married people have other relationships in their life, such as other family and friends and loved ones. Was your spouse supposed to meet all your needs? Just think about it. And just so the married people out there don’t feel unfairly called out, Let’s look at single people.

    Have you ever heard a single person say why can’t I have successful relationship (yeah actually I’ve said that line). Or they may say I’m the only one alone, everyone else has someone and they are so happy, at least they are not alone. But let’s be real single people, are you alone when you’re single? Not really, sure if you isolate yourself, you’ll be alone but not normally. You have other opportunities for companionship that a married person would never have. I can go where I want, when I want, and with who I want to go with. There is a great deal of companionship opportunities for singles. We have friends, family, and for single people like me children, children. Our lives can be very full of other human companionship opportunities even without a partner or a mate. If we spend our time lamenting over not having a partner, are we minimizing the blessings that we already have, the companionship that we are already experiencing.

    Whether we are married or single, we have greater communities, and companions can you come in many forms. We cannot expect that this need for companionship was ever going to be met by just one person. To put that on one person will leave that person you are counting on frustrated and leave you disappointed. Also, why would you minimize the blessings of the other people that God has given you in your life.

    I do want to point out that there are those that lose their companions, their closest companion. No amount of other people can replace that person in their life. We make space for others in our hearts when we love them, and if they are suddenly or even slowly not there, there is a gaping wound. Literally a part of you is gone that you can never get back. Those times in our lives we are not able to avoid. As people who connect with other people and love other people, the benefit is this adds life and joy to us.  The downside, it also brings along with it loss and grief as we lose those we love. So, in writing this I want to make sure that I’m not saying that one person is as good as any other as a companion. I’m simply saying that we are blessed with many forms of companionship and types of human companionship in our life. There’s no need to think that your need for human companionship and love will have to be met by one individual, some other missing part of yourself that is somehow out there and that you’ll find and then you’ll be complete. This fallacy has left many people lost and searching or disappointed. Romantic love can be a benefit in our life, it is only one part of our life. True human companionship goes much further than just romance.

    It truly is such a complex thing. We need our faithful companion God and that relationship with him. Yet we also need others. It is not good for us to be alone. Add to this that we gain and yes we lose these companions throughout our life. These things make us human-the connections with others, the desire for the connections with others, the grief over the loss of others, and our own struggle to keep searching for more companions.

     Let me get to the point, it’s important that you don’t miss what you have right now, because of what you think that you don’t have. Be thankful and nourish the relationships that you have, and understand that this life is long for many, and during the course of your life you will probably occupy both singleness and being in the relationship over and over, multiple times in your life. Death, transition, change, life itself happens and we find ourselves starting again. Yet still the same heart beats inside of us with a need for love and companionship. We were designed for community, for love. So yes, as I originally wrote there is a God shaped hole in all of us and only, he can fill that place. Yet there is more we need filled.  Being alone is not good, our souls we’re designed for human connection.

    Here’s the beauty, in eternity, we will be together with each other and God. We will finally be fully connected face to face with God himself and we will not be there alone. Do you see the beauty of his design? Our hearts were made to expand and love and love more. Just like God loves and wants all of us. We were made in his image after all. It will be all of us together as one connected with Christ. Paradise will finally be realized again. Till then we long for the day, but while longing for that wonderful day. Don’t lose the blessing of this moment and what you already have.

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  • Right Here Waiting For You…

    “Wherever you go, whatever you do. I will be right here waiting for you.” These are the words of a love song I grew up listening to by Richard Marx.  It’s a great love song. The idea that we would never be abandoned, that there would always be someone waiting for us, right there just for us is a comforting thought. Truthfully, it’s a deep need and desire for all people to have that someone. A desire for companionship. 

    Realistically, we know that a human would never be able to keep the promise made in the song. Time and time again people will fail us. Even if they wanted to or had the ability to live forever, which no one does, could they really be with us wherever we go and whatever we do. No, it is not possible to think someone could always be faithful and never fail. “To be human is to err” – not just a famous phrase but true as well. Humans fail, we fail each other, we fail ourselves, we fail. We often have the best intentions in mind, but we lack the follow through. Thereby disappointing others and often times ourselves.  Yet in our hearts there is a deep desire for this recognition, this unfailing love.  We all want our soul’s true love, a faithful companion. But we look to the wrong place to try to find this love, we look to other humans.  Instead, we find despair or disappointed all to often. This leaves many of us feeling that this deep desire, this deep need in us will never be fulfilled, never satisfied.

    We shake our fist at heaven, angry over unmet desires and needs, distraught because of the unrealized longing we have for this faithful companion. Sometimes, in our disappointment, we react. I know you have seen it. The “I don’t need anyone attitude” that people can get. So tired of disappointment that a person decides to just give up on other people and depend only on themselves. We have pins that say I’m enough. This idea that I can do it all on my own, provide all I need and meet my own desires is not realistic. It doesn’t work.  Sure, you can meet your physical needs, and most of the others, but this deep desire for a faithful companion can never be met by yourself because it requires someone else. It almost seems cruel that we would need others when we know that they will fail us.

    Is God setting us up for unmet needs, for failure? Is God being cruel to mankind? No, God is not cruel.  You see it is not an impossible need, or an unquenchable. How is this? With God! I always love that when God steps in the impossible goes away and only he remains. Through him our need is met, by his provision and care of us he proves to be the faithful companion we are all seeking. He placed this need for himself inside of us, a place just for him and him alone. He can fill this spot, he will not fail, he has promised wherever we go, whatever we do, that he is right there waiting for us, loving us. Whatever it takes – his son’s death, continuing to reach out to us, no matter how long it takes, or how his heart has been broken for us.  He is right there waiting for you and for me. That’s our Lord. He created us with this desire for himself and it was a desire that he could meet.

    Why would he do this? It’s simple, he longs for us also. He created us to be his companions. It’s not a one-sided desire. He doesn’t need us, but he wants us. And think of all it costs him. How often do we disappoint God and break his heart, yet he still chooses us. He chooses first and we have only ever been a disappointment, yet he continues to pursue us. At least when we choose him, we get the unfailing love and faithful companion that we could never truly give back, though we may try. 

    There is one thing more to consider. There will be a time, a day, when in the fullness of time God will bring us all home to himself, and he’ll stop waiting. The offer is for eternal life, it is not an eternal offer. He clearly said judgment day will come, the day we will be free from the parts of ourselves that need to be burned away. Our corrupted will be transformed into incorruptible, our physical separation from the true lover of our soul will finally end. He will stop what has been and begin forever as he intended it to be, he and us together forever.

    He even speaks of that day as a wedding supper, our perfect union with the Lord will be realized. No more disappointment, no more heartache. Our hearts made whole, no more missing parts or piece.  Think of it like this, we are a puzzle with a missing piece. We try to fit everything in it in this life, we know it’s wrong, it’s obvious it’s incomplete and other things seem like close matches because they seem to reflect what that missing pieces is, but they are not that piece. We spend our lives getting closer and closer, we will truly never be complete, not here on this side of heaven. So, we need to have faith, in our faithful companion and only look to him. Sure, the other loves and joys from relationships are great, and their benefits that add to our life, but they were never meant to be our life, neither can they be. They are not what is missing in our hearts. The good news is the love song is true-it has been sung to you by a God who loved you first, who is a faithful tenacious companion no matter what, where, how, he is right there waiting for you. Don’t wait too long, too late, don’t miss your bridegroom when he comes from you.

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