Devotions For Real Life

God moments, lessons learned, and hope for the journey

Look for a new post every Sunday. My hope is you find encouragement, wisdom for real life moments, and share them with others who may benefit from any of the posts.

  • It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

    It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or is it? I know you have all heard that song. The song that declares it’s the most wonderful time of the year. As if holiday greetings, friends coming to call, parties that we host, marshmallows that we roast, and carolers out in the snow somehow mean that we should be overcome with absolute joy and merriment. That is simply not true. Joy is not the only feeling we feel during the proclaimed most wonderful time of the year. Sure, Christmas songs and lights can make us smile and we can reminisce about beautiful moments that we may have shared with others but there could also be a great deal of pain.

    Does God understand if absolute joy is not how we feel on Christmas Day? Yes, he absolutely does. There is no scripture that says that you have to feel joy every moment or even that you have to be thankful for everything. The truth is scripture says in everything give thanks not for everything. It says do not be discouraged which means that we’ll face discouragement. It says take heart which means sometimes we’ll lose heart. It says that he is close to the broken hearted. Scripture declares that “blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.” 

    God knows and understands that we have grief in this life even during the holiday season. We can experience very real pain. Bone jarring, deep, life altering pain. Christmas will go on though, the show must go on no matter what we’re feeling or experiencing. Perhaps this year or at least in the recent past you have lost your lifelong love, you may have been struggling financially or emotionally, you may have celebrated the holidays absolutely alone, perhaps your beloved child has been taken from you long before they should, or maybe this year you are struggling to find a reason to keep on keeping on. So much pain, so much heartache. Know that you are not wrong for not feeling joyful. It is OK to not be OK even at Christmas time. God is not blind to our suffering. He is there at our best moments and even more present at our worst. He loves us just as deeply at both. He abides for our joyous celebrations and remains still in our deepest moments of grief, loss, and pain. It doesn’t matter what time of the year it is; it doesn’t matter if everyone expects you to feel holiday joy, God is still God with us whether in complete darkness during Christmas or an absolute joyous light. When the Christmas star shines brightly or when it is covered by the clouds, and you can’t see it. He remains through it all with us, Emmanuel!

    So, this holiday season. Wherever you are, I am certain that our humble savior who came as an unassuming child is very near to you. Don’t worry if you say it’s really not the most wonderful time of the year.  Don’t worry, you’re not being a Grinch, you’re just a human with real feelings, raw emotions, difficult circumstances, and true pain. It’s OK even if you never say it again or perhaps think that you might never feel that way again. Don’t try to pretend to be something that you’re not or feel something you don’t for someone else’s benefit. Instead, just be where you are and receive God’s love and his comforting presence. Remember he’s close to you if you’re broken hearted and that his Holy Spirit was sent to comfort you. He cries with you, and he holds you. He is always near to you, Emanuel, God with us. Feel the breath of heaven breathing over you comfort and peace-true rest and respite from your sorrow. Not some manufactured fake joy but instead may you find true peace and comfort this Christmas. 

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  • The Little Drummer Boy

    As a music lover, there are many Christmas carols that I have sang over the years.  I start as early as I can and sing or listen to them as often as I can in the Christmas season. One of the songs that I have enjoyed a great deal is “The Little Drummer Boy.” The song is fictional, at least for the most part.  Christ was born to Joseph and Mary in the humble stable, but the little drummer boy was not a character in the biblical scene.  The song was written as a story of a poor boy who had nothing to bring but wanted to come and honor baby Jesus.  

    He was unlike the wise men in two keyways – they were real and wealthy, he was fictional and poor. The wise men are biblical characters you can read about in scripture and they came with all of their precious and expensive gifts. Still, both the poor drummer boy and the wise men gave what they had to give. The little drummer boy’s story is a nice story but it’s not true. So, if the little drummer boy was not real, then why should we sing a song about him.  After all, if you want to keep Christmas as close to the authentic story of Christ as possible wouldn’t you leave this Christmas Carol out of the mix? I would argue that you should sing the song even though it is not about a real boy because although it’s not a true story there is a very valuable lesson to be learned from this humble kid.

    What is that valuable lesson you might ask? Christmas is all about honoring Christ and as a believer that’s where we put our emphasis. It is our desire as believers to worship at his feet, at the feet of our great savior who was once that small babe in a manager. Unlike the wise men in this story of Christ’s birth, we come to Jesus very much like the little drummer boy came. We come to Christ-poor, unworthy, dirty, coming with nothing or with nothing of real value, nothing fit to give our King.  Like him It is our desire to honor Christ. The story of that silly fictional little drummer boy who just wanted to honor the babe in the manager is our own.

    We have hope just like he did.  Hope that though we have nothing to bring we can give ourselves, our song, our service, and our life to honor Jesus. Truthfully, that is what God desires from us anyway.  He is not interested in some amazing gift that we think that we should bring, he just wants us to give our heart, our life, and our devotion. Still Christ will accept our offering, this offering of ourselves to him. How amazing!

    This year as you praise God during the Christmas season and you observe the nativity scenes, which the little drummer boy has no true part in, I want you to imagine him there. When you compare yourself to the characters in the cast set in the Christmas story only God could have written understand that you are not the angels or the wise men.  No, you’re more like that fictional drummer boy or perhaps even the shepherds. The shepherds were the outcast, the ones whom only God acknowledged and accepted by his grandiose announcement of his son’s birth to them. We are the humble and lowly characters in the story. If you think about it that’s exactly how it should be. We are a very humble people serving a God who presented himself in a most humble way even though he is a mighty boundless king.

    This Christmas, I pray that you can see yourself in the Christmas story in a new way.  See yourself as the simple little drummer boy or as a lowly shepherd tending his flock in the fields. Unnoticed by everyone and yet we are seen and acknowledged by God himself, with your humble offering being joyful accepted by our Savior. So, come…Our Mighty King to see…Ourselves the gift we bring…To lay before our King…So to honor Him…When we come! 

  • This Christmas (Christmas Contentment)

    Since my divorce I had always set aside money for Christmas.  I wanted to give my children the three gifts, as had been the tradition for Christmas since their births.  Jesus got 3 so they got 3.  That was the logic behind our plan. Besides that, it would help keep Christmas reasonable, with our growing family this was important. I know this is not for everyone but it was the tradition in our house and it was the tradition I wanted to maintain.

    This year would be different for me, things had greatly changed from those first years of parenthood when I had been married.  Besides the most obvious change of being single now, I had changed jobs and things were going to be very different.  The savings I normally had for Christmas had gone to surviving the year.  I faced a year where my children needed and wanted things and I knew I would not be able to get them. I felt frustrated and ashamed if I being honest. What I wanted to do, I could not do, although there were a few things within my power to do.

    I was going to re-gift a few things that had been mine to my daughters, such as jewelry.  Also, they needed essentials items such as socks and clothes and that would be what I got them.  Not a fun exciting Christmas gift opening experience, getting essentials and 2nd hand items.  For my boys I planned to get a few things but I know realistically theirs would be very inexpensive items.  It was not the quality much less the quantity that I wanted to provide to my children. I knew I would have to give what I could give not what I wanted to give. Mentally, I braced myself because I was disappointed.  After all, Christmas is about lots of presents under the tree right?  Certainly not!  That was when I stopped myself, because I realized I was trapped in my negative thoughts toward my circumstances.  

    My children did not really need a bunch of toys, extravagant gifts, or video games.  Although I’m sure they would have thought it would be nice to receive them.  The things they needed for the most part they had already. God had provided us with a home, time together, and love.  Those things we had in abundance.  Nothing else mattered.  

    It was only in my mind that they mattered.  I needed to adjust my perspective.  This year, this Christmas would be different, perhaps better because on Christmas morning instead of being engrossed in a bunch of items they would lose or break within a month of receiving them, they would get to focus on quality time together.  That year we had bonded as a family in great ways, ways that would not fade with disinterest or time.  Memories that would remain with my children long after this sparse year had passed.  

    So I set my mind on contentment and being grateful.  Focusing on time with family and moments of considering each other.  Sure, it is unpleasant to be broke at Christmas, if you let it bother you.  I knew that I would have to walk in that contentment by choice and remind myself of what really mattered more than once. We tend as humans to need to be reminded multiple times.  

    In all sincerity I did not want anyone to get anything for the kids on my behalf or to ask for assistance. Not just because of pride but because it would mean I was missing the point.  They didn’t need the stuff.  This year we would receive the best gift of all, each other’s undivided love and attention, treasured moments, and a simple Christmas.   

    So, I look forward to this Christmas and every one after.  God and all he has given already was enough for us and I had and will have no reason for anything but joy on that most anticipated day.  Set your mind to joy, not in what you are being given or in what you are giving, but instead let your joy be in the promise and hope of the Savior. In the love of your family and friends. Know that our precious Emmanuel who came to be God with us is here and who we celebrate on Christmas day.  Find fun with those in your life he has placed with you.  Enjoy every moment no matter how humble and may that contentment shine like a banner of God’s faithfulness and love to others. This Christmas choose contentment.  

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  • Regrets

    I used to think I could make it all the way through life without regrets.  I was kidding myself.  Everyone has regrets of some kind.  Even if they are only little regrets, they still exist.  We look back and wish we would have done something different, that we would have done something at all, or that we hadn’t done something.  Either way, we envision what life would be like, if only….  It’s funny because the truth is we can never know if we had done something differently, if things would have really turned out different or turned out the way we dream that they should have.  For all we know things could have been worse.  Ironically, while we waste time craning our necks to look back at the past, we are only stopping ourselves from being present and more successful in the here and now.  

    I am not saying you should never self-evaluate in order to avoid making the same mistake over and over. That’s a wise thing to do.  I am saying that if you can’t change it, you shouldn’t let it trap you.  It easy to go down the rabbit hole of regrets and get lost never to return.  Here is the thing, all we can really change is now.  So, make sure you are intentional about the choices you are making today.  Remember, that you will make mistakes so if things aren’t what you expected them to be, free yourself from thinking things would have been different or could have been if only, and deal with what is.  

    Free yourself from the deception of the “what if” and focus on “what is.”  Sure, regrets are a part of life because you will have those what if thoughts, but they don’t need to become chains around you.  You can feel it and release it.  Learn from the past but not live like you can change it. You can’t. Learn from it but don’t live in it, as if it’s your own personal prison cell.  It’s gone and we must move forward instead of being trapped by things we cannot affect or change.    

    I am reminded of Lot’s wife, we don’t even know her name, but we know what she did.  She looked back and was destroyed because of it.  She wanted her past more than her future.  One of the scariest parts of life is looking ahead and being brave, and intentional.  The hardest part of life is living.  Yet you should put your energy into actively living in the now and you will have much fewer “regrets” at the end.  Did you catch that?  I didn’t say you wouldn’t have any, but the ones you have won’t hold you in bondage because their chains never had a chance to enslave you.  It’s like Paul says in Philippians 3 verses 12 to 14, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. “ 

    I challenge you today to live forward, looking ahead, be free from the bondage of regrets (this doesn’t mean regret free, but instead not bound up by them), and know that you are going toward Christ. He’s the goal  So why would you waste your time looking back, when Christ is your goal, and he is ahead beckoning you onward.     

  • The Proverbial Tag Dilemma

    In front of me at church is a girl with the tag showing. Maybe you like me have been in a similar position, I’m almost positive you have at one point or another. The position where someone in front of you has something that is not right that they can’t see but you can because of your unique perspective. You’re outside of a situation perspective so it’s easier for you to see. In moments like those we experience a dilemma. Do we say something? Or just ignore it?

    In my case that day I wasn’t close enough to do anything about it, but I remember sitting there thinking that if someone really loved her, they would tell her. I know it’s just a tag, a small thing but if you care for someone you would be willing to point out something that they couldn’t see that was obviously wrong. You wouldn’t want them to look silly or be embarrassed. It’s a way we protect each other from things being out of place.  An observer should say something out of love to help someone else. 

    Believe it or not, we do this in our Christian life although we do it very carefully. Not with literal tags, although that may happen in church sometimes, but I’m referring to the figurative tags that we can’t see ourselves. Those errors or places that need correction, that we can’t see in ourselves but are obvious to an outside observer. It’s even written about in scripture and it’s a concept I want to investigate here. 

    First, I want to share an example from my own life in which I experience this principle being played out. I was walking with a friend and explaining how I felt disappointed over a specific situation. The truth was I was angry, my tone and my words were sharp with bitterness, but I could not see it myself. She however did. She very lovingly asked questions that led me to the place where I saw that I had allowed bitterness to take root in my heart. When I realized this, I dealt with it. She had pointed out very gently this error on my part, this proverbial tag if you will.  She didn’t have to help me. She could have changed the subject, agreed, and went along with my emotions and thoughts, but instead she used wisdom to help me see the truth which led me to freedom. She acted because she loved me and was doing her part to gently guide back her fellow believer. She was practicing true Christian action, being a true member of the body of Christ to me.

    Do you know that although we workout our salvation with fear and trembling, and although when we stand before God we stand individually on judgment day, we are not alone in our faith.  In spite of that individual aspect of our faith God has created us to be a part of a body, the body of Christ. Does the hand care if something is wrong with the foot? Yes, because without both parts fully functioning the whole body is less, it is diminished. Clearly, God in all his wisdom wants us to care for each other in order to maintain the health of the whole body.  He wants us to not only have concern for each other but to also mentor each other, encourage each other, and yes at times to assist other believers by helping bring them back towards truth and wisdom.

    In James 2 the question is asked “what good is it my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them” go in peace, keep warm and well fed”, but does nothing about their physical need, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action is dead.” 

    Clearly, we are called as believers to an active faith in which we care for each other ‘s needs. One of those needs are physical needs. As it says in Hebrews 13” do not forget to do good and to share with others, for such sacrifices God is pleased.” Yet more that we are called to as a member of the body of Christ. Not only do we do good to each other and care for each other ‘s physical needs but we also need to be concerned with our brothers and sister soul, their spiritual health.  It says in Galatians 6 “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in sin, you who live by the spirit should restore the person gently. But watch yourself, or you will be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ”. 

    Christ law is love and it’s a love lived out via actual active faith. In action, not only words.  So yes we should speak up, we should say something gently, not in condemnation or judgment when we see the hanging tags or areas of concern in our brothers and sisters lives. We do this in love not out of a desire to appear more righteous than them. We do this in wisdom through God’s word not based on our own judgments or even our limited understanding. We tread carefully but we still go forth in order to gently draw back those who need to be reconciled with God once again whether it’s in small or big ways. Perhaps it’s just a small step off the path but they don’t realize it. Do we say this the way, you must walk in it.  In a world that tells us that we should only be concerned with ourselves, I want to remind you today that God has called us to bear each other ‘s burdens and in this way, we fulfill the law of Christ. 

    As believers, operating fully in our faith, we support each other, we mentor each other, we draw each other closer to Christ, we encourage one another in our faith and through our struggles, and we bear each other’s burdens. Let’s not lose this very real part of what God has called us to as his body. Let’s love others by this gentle and wise ministry of reconciliation.  This ministry of healing and caring that God has called us to as we minister to each other. What choice are you going to make? Are you going to say something or are you going to let your brothers and sisters walk around with their proverbial tags hanging out? It’s your choice, I hope you make the right one. 

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  • Karma

    You must be asking yourself “why would a Christian devotion author write about a Buddhist or Hindu concept?” After all karma isn’t a Christian idea, or is it?

    First, let’s look at what karma is. Karma is a concept that explains how intentional actions keep one tied to rebirth. You see in the Hindu religion they come back again and again and again, reincarnation. What they do in one life will determine what they become or what happens to them in the next life. Kind of funny huh, how this concept from another religion is similar to a fundamental Christian principle. Let me explain. 

    It’s at the core of our beliefs. The concept of sowing and reaping.  In Galatians 6 verse 7 it declares “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from their flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the spirit, from the spirit will reap eternal life.” Interesting right? Even in Christianity we firmly believe that we reap what we sow and that our intentional actions in this life now will affect our next life, eternity.

    Our actions do matter, although I want to very clearly state that they are not what makes us right with God. The only action that makes us right with God is faith in Christ to save us. Remember we could not save ourselves and it was only through Christ’s sacrifice that we received redemption and reconciliation with God. Our actions are not what gives us salvation. Salvation is given through Christ alone as a gift, not something we have earned though our actions. I also want to be clear when I say that even with God’s grace, we do not escape the consequences of our actions in this life. We do reap what we sow. And yes, our next life, our eternity is determined by what we sow here. 

    The question we should be asking ourselves is are we sowing spiritual seeds or is our life all about feeding our own flesh? Is our faith alive and active? Are we practicing in true religion, which is service, sacrifice, and giving to others generously out of our gratitude for the salvation that we have been freely been given by God? Or is our faith dead and without evidence or support from our life? I say this very cautiously because I want to make clear that what we do outside of our acceptance of Christ as our Savior is not what reconciles us to God or saves us. However, what we do still does have a point. The fruit of our lives shows who we truly are and what we truly are. They will know us by our fruits. As Jesus told his disciples in John 15:8 ”This is my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit showing yourself to be my disciples.” Our fruit, what we reap is evidence of what we plant. When we plant Christ and his love, the fruit of that is what will be reaped.  

    This is not a popular concept because it exposes us.  Let me explain. I vividly recall reading the scripture about how out of our heart the mouth speaks. At the time I was speaking bitterness. I had to admit that in my heart I had become bitter. I didn’t want to admit it, but it was true. When I looked at the fruit or the output, I saw the true state of my heart. There was rotten fruit there. It is the same for all of us, we should listen to ourselves and what we’re spreading.  We should examine ourselves and know what we’re saying and what we’re offering to others. By doing this, we will uncover areas of our life that need attending. Our words expose us. In spite of this situation, we find ourselves in, the state of being exposed as unrighteous does not leave us helpless or hopeless. We bring these weaknesses or areas of concern to our Holy Lord. God can heal and transform us. The first step is the step of recognizing our brokenness and weakness and it’s painful. 

    Furthermore, it is not just our words that expose us but also our actions expose us. How you act says a lot about who you really are inside, and if you’re honest with yourself you know it’s true. I’m not talking about the things you do when everybody’s watching, I’m talking about the actions you take even when no one is around. Remember, man looks on the outside but God looks on the heart.  Out of the heart proceeds all our words and actions, so we must take care.  It’s good that we are exposed because only then can the branches of our life that need to be pruned be made known. That’s the thing about pruning, it leads to a much more productive plant, yet the process is painful. 

    Truly though it is good that we are searched, known, and transformed by God although it might be painful at times. This is how God is completing his work in us and it’s a process. We don’t need to feel condemned because there’s a few bad apples on our tree. We are still human, and what we do has not saved us, so it also doesn’t condemn us. Through Christ sacrifice we’re freed from condemnation. The amazing thing is that the reason why we want to sow these good things is because by them we bring glory to God! That is the point of all the service and sacrifice and love that you share with others, to bring God glory. For us to demonstrate to the world God through the love we share. In this way they can see God as you are God’s hands and feet as a very real physical presence of God in our lost and dying world that desperately needs God’s touch.  

    What does all of this have to do with karma, and why does karma even matter? Because we need to understand that reaping what we sow is the truth.  That we cannot escape in this life or the next one what we plant here. It is an inescapable truth and when we need to live in light of it changes how we live. We need to be careful to examine ourselves, to address the areas that need to be changed or transformed with God’s help.  We need to be careful and be honest with ourselves about what we are really sowing in this life. Our actions and choices, they must be intentional, and they matter. We can’t just do whatever and think that we can cry grace at the end of it and declare ourselves saved. God is the one who knows our hearts, he will not be mocked. We should check ourselves carefully, because God is not a fool! Whatever we sow that will we also reap! Do you know what you will be reaping? Ask yourself the hard questions because if God’s not going to be the one that’s found to be the fool, who do you think will be? Don’t let it be you.

  • Even At Our Worst…

    This morning the thought that keeps running through my mind are thoughts about God’s love for me. Powerful revelations of God’s love are pouring over my mind like a healing oil that soothes, mends, and brings peace to my soul. I want to share this healing oil with you.

    In Psalms 139 it says “Lord, you have searched me, and you know me.”  Let’s just stop right there. He knows us. How amazing is that! Trillions of souls out there and he knows me individually. The truth is transformative, that he would know me and still love me. Another Psalmist was amazed at the same thought when he asked, “who is man that you are mindful of him?” Why would the great God of the entire universe even care to know me much less search me.  Although it is inconceivable to me, it is still true. He searches me, and he knows me fully.

    Psalms 139 goes on to say” you know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a single word is on my tongue you know it completely.” There is nothing about us that he does not perceive or know. This can be a scary prospect because he knows the things that aren’t right just yet, he knows not only our strengths but our weaknesses and our shortcomings. Still, we know as his children we are saved by faith through grace. So, we do not have to fear his knowing because as the psalmist says, “you hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.” He covers us, even knowing us fully he still covers us! At my best and at my worst he still knows me, covers me, and loves me.

    So, I ask you today as the Psalmist does. “Where can you go from his presence?” What is that place you think that our great God will not be accessible to you or you to him? Too many of us imagine God only sees the good, or only cares for the good. That his light cannot reach or pierce any darkness no matter how great. Yet the truth is there is no place he can’t reach, no place he will not abide with us or love us.

    “Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go to the heavens, you are there if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of dawn or if I settle on the far side of the sea even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say” surely the darkness will hide me and the light will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” 

    So powerful, to think and know that there is nowhere God is not with me, knowing me, searching me, loving me, and reaching for me! No darkness that he cannot penetrate with his radiance.

    My sister once shared her testimony with me. At one point in her life, although raised in the church and loving God still, she had made choices she thought would separate her from God. She felt not good enough to approach the throne of grace in her fallen position. She was certain she was unworthy of God’s love, grace, or acceptance. She sat in her car in the church parking lot, unable to bring herself to go in. Here’s the thing, God wasn’t only in the church that day that she was unwilling to enter because she was sure of God’s rejection, God was in the car with her. In that parking lot he was with her-knowing her and loving her.

    We have all been there in our own parking lot, wrapped in our own failures and fears, certain of God’s rejection of us. We have all been in the depths. The enemy wants you to think you are alone there. Because you are not what you think that you should be before God, that you are unworthy to approach him, and that you are so unworthy and unholy, that he is not with you. The truth couldn’t be any further from that lie. He never left even when we leave. He remains loving and faithful even in our unfaithfulness. That even at our worst, in our most desperate situations literally in the depths he is just as present with us as he is at our best. His love for us is still the same.

    None of us deserve his love (at our best and at our worst), his very present help in the time of trouble, his faithfulness, his kindness towards us, or the redemption purchased by his son’s death. He paid a debt He did not owe; I owed a debt I could not pay. Even so, he still paid it and paid it in full.

    Don’t believe the lie the enemy would want you to believe! Instead believe in God and his greatness. Believe that he will be true to what he has promised, and he said” I will never leave you or forsake you.” Never! There is no point in staying in the car in the parking lot, he’s with you there too. And remember “nothing can separate you from the love of God! Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither height nor depths, nor anything else in all creation! Nothing!

    Believe and receive, be transformed by the truth of the amazing love of God that fully knows us, covers us, loves us, and remains-even at our worst!

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  • The War in our Minds

    I have never been a person who denies my areas of weakness.  You see like David I feel like “my sin is always before me.” The things that I’ve done wrong are glaringly obvious to me and have become a voice in my head to remind me that I’m not good enough, that I don’t succeed even though I try really hard, and that I don’t deserve good things. I recognize that this voice is not God’s voice. It is instead a voice of condemnation. But it’s not the devil either. It’s me doubting myself. It’s me devaluing myself. It’s me discouraging my own self. This is what I want to deal with today.  Our own personal worst critic, ourselves and what we can do about it.  Make no mistake there is definitely something we can do about it.

    Lately, I’ve begun reading a study with my accountability group called “Crash the Chatterbox.” Wow, what revelations I am learning through this study. What it is teaching me is that I do not have to be a victim of my doubts and my fears. I don’t have to let them have free reign in my mind and I don’t have to let them control me. Instead, I can speak with the voice of truth to these doubts and condemning thoughts that bombard me. I can choose to break free from the pattern of negative thinking towards myself. It is my choice. 

    Although within myself I don’t have the absolute power to completely make these voices go away, the negative words will still rise to the surface, however they don’t have to stay there. They don’t have to inform my decisions that I’m making. They don’t have to control me, cause me not to try, cause me not to live fully, or cause me to not value myself in the way that I should be valued. When you can grab a hold of this and realize that it’s within your power through the strength that God places in you, and through the truths that God plants inside your heart, that you can break free from this prison that only exists in your mind, your world will be revolutionized. 

    It’s crazy to think that everyone is just walking around appearing absolutely OK on the outside yet every single one of us, I don’t care who you are, has this struggle. This internal negative, self-doubting voice. We call it low self-esteem, or maybe we use some other names for it. Yet we are all well acquainted with this because well, we’re trapped inside our own minds. It’s there inside your mind where so many of your victories are either lost or attained. You see, we choose which thoughts we’re going to give power to.  We choose which thoughts we are going to allow to inform our decisions. We choose which thoughts we believe.

    Let me give you an example. You’re going for a job promotion. You’ve been with your company for several years and you’ve actively contributed. Not everything that you’ve done has been perfect, but you’ve done really well and strived hard in your position. So, you sit there thinking that you would be a great fit for this higher position. In the back of your mind the self-doubt starts to come up. “Am I really qualified to do this? Wow, I think this other person would be much better than me at this job. What if I get in that position and I don’t know what to do? Am I really the kind of person who should even be applying for this position? You know all those times that you’ve only been able to just make it, what makes you think that you’re actually going to be able to go all the way this time? Just look around, any one of these other people would do better in that position than you would do.” Yeah, we are not nice to ourselves. We think of the times that we failed or the times that we’ve struggled, and we choose to discount ourselves before we even try. That is option A. The easy option to feel these things and have these thoughts and just not put in your resume for that promotion. 

    There is another option besides not trying though, option B.  You could speak some truth to those negative thoughts and choose to send your resume anyway. You could remind yourself that although you haven’t always succeeded, the majority of the time you have. You can remind yourself of what an asset you’ve been to everyone around you and that no matter the challenges you would face you’re confident that you could continue to be an asset with the right support. You can remind yourself that nothing is impossible with God and that he can give you the strength to do whatever position that you’re placed. You can remind yourself that you are worth hiring for that position, that you are capable and competent to do that job, and that you also have the courage to try. That you’re not going to lose anything by trying, you will only lose if you don’t. 

    This is a very simple example, but it shows you that cycle we go through when there’s something that we would like to pursue, and we talk ourselves out of it. We convince ourselves that we never were good enough to receive it. So, we don’t even try. People get so bitter and angry at other people for what they don’t have when the majority of the time they don’t have it because they never tried for it. They didn’t try for it because they didn’t think they deserve it or could get it. Or perhaps they didn’t think they were good enough for it. It is not anyone else’s fault if you choose to listen to the negative condemning voices and believe them. It is your choice which voice you will listen to. Will you listen to the voice of truth, or will you continue to let the worst of your thoughts define your life choices?

    I want to remind other believers that it is a very Christian principle – to take these thoughts captive. To understand very clearly what the message of God for us is and discern what is instead our own thoughts and feelings. We need to be able to differentiate between the things that are not true that we’re thinking and feeling and what God would actually speak in this situation. That is spiritual warfare 101, the battle of truth over our thoughts and our life.

    Christ demonstrated the right way to combat lies when he was being tempted by Satan. He must have been so very hungry after 40 days of fasting yet when he was offered bread, he was confident enough to tell Satan that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. You see, he used scripture and God’s truth to combat the temptation and the lie. In the same way, we use God’s word and his truth to combat the enemies lies when they come to us in the form of our own negative thoughts and feelings or self-doubts.

    Make no mistake although those thoughts don’t come directly from Satan every time, he certainly influences us to see ourselves in a negative way. Satan does not want us to believe in the power of God inside of ourselves. He wants us to remain a victim of our own negativity and our own self-doubts so that we never pursue the calling that God has for us. So that we never are bold enough to take every opportunity that God gives us to share his love with others. This area of the mind and the battle that rages is paramount in our Christian faith. Remember most battles in our life are won or lost in our mind before our bodies ever do anything.

    As a person who’s had a failed marriage and no other real successful relationships except for friendships, as a person who has changed careers and faced setbacks, and as a person who struggles with my own emotions and life responsibilities daily, I have all kinds of reasons to have self- doubt.  Yet I refused to give in. I refuse to believe what the enemy would tell me/the negative thoughts I tell myself. Instead, I seek the truth of who I am in God and who God is in me. To stand in his power and authority and boldly protest my own negative thoughts about myself. 

    I hope today that you will choose to do the same. Don’t continue to be a victim of the condemnation put on you by yourself.  It is not God who condemns you, he convicts and guides, he does not condemns. Don’t continue to let these doubts and fears control you and make decisions for you. Choose the path of faith and truth. Be bold my friends and be strong because the Lord your God is with you no matter the battles you face, no matter the unhealthy thought patterns that you have to reset, and no matter how many times you have to say the same truth to the same lie before you believe it. Yes, no matter what, God is with you wherever you go. He can give you the strength and the truths that you need to hold on to so that you can start winning this war in your mind against your own insecurities, self-doubts, and fears. “I am no longer a slave to fear” as a worship song I know boldly proclaims. Why? Because I am a child of God. I pray today you can say the same thing.

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  • Though I Walk Through the Valley

    Lately I’ve been struggling with an aspect of depression that I don’t really understand. It’s not logical. I used to wonder why people would be depressed when there was nothing wrong. They have a good life, relatively few problems, and yet they are consumed with depression. It makes sense for people to be depressed who are grieving or dealing with loss and sickness. It makes sense for people to be depressed if their circumstances are depressing or difficult but to feel that feeling when the sky is blue, your bank account is full, and you have people who love you makes no sense.

    It’s important to address this illogical depression because people feel alone in what they’re experiencing. So, I think talking about this particular brand of depression may help someone else realize that other people struggles similarly. That it’s OK to struggle and we’re not bad or weak people because we go through this. These valleys explainable or unexplainable, we will walk through in life, none of us are exempt.

    For me, the downward spiral into depression starts with numbness. When everything starts to feel hollow. Things that should excite me or that I should look forward to just feel blah. I spend time with my friends and enjoy myself, but I don’t really because there’s this underlying emptiness. It’s like it sucks the enjoyment out of moments that I would otherwise find happiness and fulfillment in. A fulfilling day at work, a success on a project, an accomplishment that my children have achieved, or fun times with family and friends all feel less satisfying. I truly don’t understand why I feel the hollow feeling because everything is right except for what’s inside of me. 

    What do I do about this slow fade into depression? Am I powerless against it? No, certainly not. We all have things we can do to help ourselves. First, like I’m doing right now, we have to admit it. They always say that’s the first step. After we admit we act. How? By living and engaging in life anyway. The dangerous thing about depression is it’s like an abusive lover. It wants to isolate you away from everyone else so you don’t know that you can get help. So that you think you’re absolutely alone and that you probably deserve it. So it’s so important that we do not allow a season of depression drive us away from the very things and people that could pull us out of them. 

    Yes, we admit and we fighting the good fight against it but there is more. Also we must not condemn ourselves for feeling depressed. I don’t understand why these periods of numbness and dissatisfaction settle over me. It’s like they’re gray clouds that descend in a very beautiful blue sky for no apparent reason. I feel ridiculous like Eeyore moping around when everyone else is happy in the story. Yet it’s actually how I feel, completely downcast and for no good reason. Yet I’m not going to condemn myself for feeling this way. I recognize I’m not weak, ridiculous, or wrong for this feeling of nothingness and discouragement. Neither should you. Let’s not condemn ourselves when Christ certainly is not condemning us.  

    It also makes me feel a little better when I read in scripture about many of the different authors who had their own struggles with these periods of depression. Didn’t the Psalmist ask “why are you downcast oh my soul? Put your hope in God.” Yeah, I’ve asked myself that question and millions of other people have to.  I am not alone and neither are you.  

    So, I’ll keep on keeping on and I’ll recognize that this hollow feeling will pass. I think my struggles with depression over the last 10 years of my life has given me a new perspective about the 23rd Psalms. When we go through those dark times in our life it’s like walking through the valley of the shadow of death. But even here I will not fear evil because I know God is with me. He’s with me when I feel the joy of every moment I’m living in and he’s with me when I’m completely numb and everything feels unsatisfying. He loves me when my joy is full and he loves me even more when I’m downcast and broken hearted. He always is with me and that’s what I’m going to hold on to here.

    So as I go about my day full of plans that should make me feel so joyful, yet I feel completely empty inside I’ll bring this to mind and then I’ll have hope. That God is faithful to me. That somehow his mercies are new every morning whether I see them, feel them, or whether I don’t. Lastly, that no matter how dark the night the dawn will come and no matter how deep the valley the land will start to slope up and there will be another mountain. That mountain will present challenges all its own, but I’ll be ready for it.

    It’s really OK to not be OK. Go ahead admit it, you’ll feel better. Give yourself some grace, you are not Superman or Wonder Woman, it’s ok to struggle. Don’t give up if you feel like I do (or you feel numb like I do.) Don’t think that you’re alone because you’re not. Many other people are fighting the same battle, they walk in the same valley as you. Keep your head up and keep pushing forward even when you don’t feel like it. Stay connected even when you want to hide in a cave and disappear and be away from the very things and people you need to help you. Do not condemn yourself, he does not condemn you for your struggles. Know that God’s rod and staff, that his very presence, can be a comfort to you even in a dark place, even through seasons of depression.

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  • The Mighty Can Fall Pt. 2

    Recently I posted about challenges and facing them in God’s strength.  I want to continue along that same vein and discuss the challenges, these personal icebergs, that we face.  This bears discussing because it’s important to know what we face, even if we are facing it in God’s strength. After all, understanding the nature of these things can help us be better equipped to deal with them.  

    First let’s start with a few important reminders.  Remember, we all, mankind, just like all man-made things have limitations and weaknesses.  Man made things like The Titanic, the unsinkable ship that went down due to an iceberg.  We need to beware the icebergs.  In our life, our challenges and trials are the icebergs. When we navigate through treacherous iceberg prone waters, knowing what we might face can help us so to know to look out and prepare.

    It’s important to note that just like icebergs come in all shapes and sizes in real life, our figurative icebergs do as well.  Sometimes it’s just one really big thing, one iceberg that can take down the whole mighty unsinkable ship. But other times it’s one small iceberg after another small iceberg after another small iceberg after another small iceberg and eventually a breaking point is reached. Maybe you felt like that in your life before. Like instead of experiencing one giant challenge that could completely destroy you, you’ve had a lot of small catastrophes or situations that are weakening you.  They are getting you closer and closer to that point where you can’t take anymore. Both are difficult places to be, whether it is one giant iceberg or many smaller ones. It is impossible to survive without the strength and grace of the Lord no matter which kind of iceberg you face. 

    I remember when I was going through my divorce. It was difficult.  Well, call it difficult is an understatement, but there is not a word that would express the devastation caused by the divorce. It nearly broke me.  It wasn’t just the divorce though.  It was the year and 1/2 long separation in which I parented completely alone for over a year of it. With their father in a different state, he could not help. It was trying to adjust to a new school position only to find at the end of the year that I wasn’t reappointed. So, I had to go find another position. What choice did I have? I couldn’t give up, I had to keep trying to bail water out of what felt like a fast-sinking ship. It felt like that year was one thing after another and I was definitely reaching my breaking point.

    I had to learn through painful experiences that it’s OK to admit that you are at the end of yourself. I think it’s important that we admit that. Denying doesn’t change it.  Trying to face it alone doesn’t make it better.  Realize that we all reach that point at one time or another in our life whether it’s because of one giant iceberg or 50 small ones. It takes just the right circumstances to get us to a point of weakness that can cause complete collapse and devastation, if not for God’s intervention. That is what I want to focus on.  Yes, we will all face the icebergs; however, we don’t face them alone. 

    As a believer, we go from limited too limitless in God’s power. Here’s what I mean. In myself I have limitations on what I can handle and how strong I am. Yet God’s power in me gives me a strength beyond myself. Gives me a peace when there is only chaos. Gives me hope when there’s absolutely only darkness that my eyes can see. His power and grace gives me strength in a way that only God can give to his children. So, although God will allow life to bring things to us that we cannot handle in our own power and strength (because they’re beyond the limitations that we have inside of ourselves) he strengthens and enables us to go beyond our human limitations and abilities when we depend and lean on him. 

    This is a great mystery. It is a wonder how there are times when his grace is sufficient because his power or strength is made perfect in our weakness. Wouldn’t it just be nice if we didn’t have the weaknesses? Yes, it would be, and I can’t tell you why sometimes God chooses to heal in this life and sometimes he chooses instead to bring the ultimate healing in the forever to come. That’s not the point I’m debating or discussing here. I can tell you though that until you breathe your last breath if you are a believer, he will strengthen you to face whatever life brings you if you lean on him.

    Going back to that time in my life where I was at the breaking point, I remember saying to God “I can’t take anymore.” Yet it was only in that moment that I saw God move.  No, he didn’t move in the way I wanted; he didn’t melt all the icebergs.  No, instead he strengthens me and show me that although it would take time for me to recover, that he was working to bring about wholeness to my situation. He patched the hole and bailed out enough water.  He joined me as I continued to bail water out of my sinking my ship and slowly repaired my ship, so it was whole again, not sinking anymore.  It took time. He gave me hope that I wasn’t alone and that he would bring me to a place of complete healing again. That hope and peace gave me enough strength to keep standing. That knowledge that he was with me brought me comfort and fortitude where I lacked it in myself.  Knowing that he was working to restore me and my life, that knowledge sustained me and gave me that strength beyond my own to pushing forward.

    We all are vessels, clay jars if you will. Sometimes we get knocked off the shelf, we might just get one crack, or we might shatter into large pieces or be so irrevocably damaged that there’d be no gluing it back together the way it was. Let me assure you though, that our Potter is wise enough, strong enough, and loving enough to know how to gather the pieces of us altogether and remake us. He will remake us better and stronger than we were before.

    One of my favorite artists is Mandisa, she has such positive messages with her songs like “you’re an overcomer”. After she came out with that album, she wrote another song called “Unfinished.”  That lyrics go like this: “I’m not scared to say it, I used to be the one preaching it to you that you could overcome. I still believe it but it ain’t easy. Because that world I painted where things just all work out, it started changing and I started having doubts and it got me so down. But I picked myself back up and I started telling me. No, my God’s not done making me a masterpiece he’s still working on me. He started something good and I’m going to believe it, he started something good and he’s going to complete it. So, I’ll celebrate the truth his work in me ain’t through, I’m just unfinished.”

    I don’t know what your vessel or your clay jar is going to go through or what ultimately his picture of the masterpiece that he’s creating you will be. I can tell you that he’s not finished. He’ll keep working on you lovingly, gently, and with grace your whole life. I can’t tell you how many times your clay jar will fall and shatter or how many pieces that you’ll break into.  I can tell you he can gather up all your brokenness no matter how impossible that seems.  I can’t tell you how complicated the mending will be or how many times you will have to go back on the wheel for some remolding. I can only promise you that the Potter doesn’t give up on the clay jar.  That he will pick up all the pieces and continue to work to make the masterpiece that you are. I can’t tell you that you won’t reach your breaking point.  I can only tell you that through the power and strength of Christ you will find strength beyond your own limits.  You have to cling to these promises and hold fast to them. We aren’t Humpty Dumpty, we are not fallen and irreparably damaged. We don’t need all the King’s horsemen and all the King’s men to put us together we just need Jesus. We are not sunken or defeated no matter what icebergs we face. 

    I don’t know what state you’re in right now. Whether you are proclaiming how unsinkable you are and believing it, whether the vessel that is your life is freshly fallen on the floor and broken into a million pieces, whether your ship has hit an iceberg or two already, perhaps not enough to sink you but definitely leaving you more vulnerable.  Whatever your state I want to encourage you that although you have limitations and vulnerabilities within yourself you can stand firm on the solid rock that is God. In his strength no matter how strong the winds, no matter how devastating the situation, in his strength your house will stand.

    All of the mighty can fall, I will choose to go ahead and bow humbly and recognize the one who can give me the strength to stand against it all. The true Mighty One who never fails. What will your choice be?