Devotions For Real Life

God moments, lessons learned, and hope for the journey

Look for a new post every Sunday. My hope is you find encouragement, wisdom for real life moments, and share them with others who may benefit from any of the posts.

  • Praise From Wherever You Are

    This morning, I am at church like I am almost every Sunday. I’m playing the piano and praising at the same piano bench and stage from which I normally praise. But today is different for me. I am praising from a very different place even though I am exactly where I always am.

    Yesterday I had experienced disappointment and heartache. Loss of something I hoped for. So today I realized I felt very much like a balloon that had once been inflated but now is deflated and stretched thin. I felt like a sail with no wind to push me or guide me. Disappointment or loss does that to you. As the scripture says, “hope deferred makes the heart sick.”  It literally changes where you are even though you are the same place that you have always been.

    As I sat at the same piano bench, so very far away in my mind from where I usually praise, I found it more difficult to catch my breath and to breathe out praise.

    A realization came to me.  From this place, from loss, from sickness, from heartache, from disappointment, from uncertainty in my circumstances and even from a place of questions; from all of these places our praise is an act of faith. It’s a profession of what we truly believe. In a way it’s more profound and real. 

    Here we say “God is good all the time” but only here is saying it truly an act of faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, or the evidence of things unseen.  It is as if we are declaring that here Lord, in the wreckage, in trying times, and in every hard moment, even here Lord, I declare you are good always. That’s true faith!

    All of us will get the opportunity to praise God anyway and no matter what.  All of us will get the opportunity to stand in the place of loss, disappointment, pain, or when our faith is not making what we see change. When it seems ridiculous to say “God is good.” Only from here can you truly understand that no matter what we have a reason to praise and to declare “God you are good!”

    Wherever you are today. Whether from abundance or lack, praise with me! Whether from a need met or from an unanswered prayer, praise with me! Whether in the pit of despair or in the fields of joy, praise with me! Whether from the valley of disappointment or the mountain of triumph, praise with me! Praise God anyway, no matter where you praise him from because he really is always good and worthy. So just praise Him!

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  • Free to Struggle

    Lately I’ve been thinking and writing a lot about how to live like Jesus lived. To follow his example and model of loving, study, and more. 

    Today though I find myself thinking about how much I don’t live like him. Have you ever felt like that? Like an unsuccessful Christian. Have you ever felt like the worst of sinners? I know I have.

    There’s something that pulls me back to doing the things that I don’t want to do. Well, if I’m being honest, I actually want to do them, but I know I shouldn’t. So, it’s as if there’s a part of me that wants to do what’s right but there’s another part of me that wants to get what I desire. There’s a constant war and struggle inside of myself. When I lose that battle and I make those choices that I know probably aren’t the best choices, I can’t help but feel defeated. What good is it knowing all the ways to be like Jesus if I can’t follow them or if it’s such a struggle to stay on the narrow path?

    That’s what I find myself contemplating today. The truth is scripture tells us that wide is the road that leads to destruction. It’s the easy path. It’s the path where you can do whatever you want and have whatever you want in whatever way you want it. It would seem like this is a form of freedom but yet we know because of the truth of what sin does it’s actually a prison of its own kind. You see sin begets more sin. So on and so forth until you’re in this continual cycle of wanting more and more and more. It’s like with medication. When you first start one pill might do the trick. But you build a tolerance to it, and you need a higher dose. Just to get the same level of relief it requires more medicine.

    Sin very much behaves in that same way. You give in to a small thing and then you find that the momentary pleasure fades with each exposure to that vice. You need more and more to find what you feel like is a momentary satisfaction or relief. You literally become a slave to your desires. That’s what it talks about in scripture when it says that you’re freed by God, it’s freedom to not be a slave to that part of you that wants and wants and wants and is never satisfied. That momentary pleasure leaves you emptier than it found you. It’s the deception or the lie of sin. That somehow it satisfying because it offers a momentary thrill or feeling, yet the truth is that moment will never last, and it will only lead you to seek more and more just to find the same relief. 

    Sin is not a popular topic. People don’t like to talk about it or consider it. Yet there are things that separate us from God. There are actions that we take that are harmful for our bodies or for the people around us. There are things that we do that have negative consequences. We can candy coat it, we can call it some other name, and we can deny that it’s a problem.  None of those rejections of the truth stop the truth from being what it is. The truth is all of us have sinned. Sin has consequences. It separates us from God and feeds our flesh. Apart from God we are slaves to our own desires and to our flesh. Only through the redemptive work of Christ can we find freedom. Remember you can’t serve 2 masters. So, if you’re serving yourself, you are not serving God. If you’re living to feed your flesh, you are not feeding your spirit.

    Let me be clear, I am not saying that you are now or will ever be free of this struggle. I am not free from this struggle and never will be just like you.  I can tell you most days I really wish I was free of it, this struggle. Still, freedom is not freedom from the struggle, freedom is freedom from the chains that allowed us to not have victory. So yes, sometimes I might fail and sin, but still, I’m free because that sin doesn’t own me anymore. I’m not a slave to it. I don’t have to give in to it. With God’s strength and with his help I can make a different choice. With the support of the people in my life that he’s given me and through his assistance in situations, sin doesn’t have to win in my life. Even when I do fail, I am free from the condemnation of that sin because Christ took my shame and bore my judgement.

    So just sitting here and being frustrated and angry at myself for not being the kind of Christian I want to be in every moment is not what God would want me to be thinking and feeling. He doesn’t want me to be a slave to my sin, but he also doesn’t want me to be a slave to the condemnation of my sins. He doesn’t want me to believe the lie that the enemy is trying to get me to believe, that I stand condemned for my failings. I do not.

    No, I am free. Free from the sins that I have committed through the forgiveness of Jesus Christ.

    I am free. Free from the guilt and shame of my sins because Christ bore my guilt and bore my disgrace.

    I am free. I will not be punished for the sins that I committed although I deserve that punishment because Christ took my punishment for me.

    I am free. Free from sins incredible hold over me.

    Through the power of the holy spirit and the wisdom and guidance from God’s word I might not win every victory over sin but as I feed my spirit, I will win more victories than I will lose them. Ultimately even though I will still struggle and lose a few battles, I am free, and I have victory.

    Every day there’s a little less of me and a little more of Jesus. So maybe all the ways Christ has modeled for me to live I don’t always rise up to. Maybe there will be times that I fail and falter as I walk with the Lord. Yet I am on the narrow path, struggling and fighting with my human nature and my flesh. Trying to feed and strengthen my spirit. Still, I am on the narrow path, and I will not hang my head in shame. The chains that once bound me have been taken away. I will not spend my life looking at them. I will not pick them back up. What about you?

    What’s your plan of action? When you sit just like me and you think and feel like a failure as a believer. When you wonder how God could continue to love you when you never seem to get it right. When you would sit in shame and condemnation that you know is not a message God is giving you. It’s time to get up, and step away from that.

    It’s time to speak truth and change the narrative to the story. Yes, we struggle, (you and I) and yes, we fail (you and I), but that doesn’t mean we are failures. Not as a person and not as a believer. Because the greater truth is that we are free through the redemptive work of Jesus Christ. And all those things that haven’t been made right he’s working to bring into alignment. No matter how long it takes. Praise God for his Grace! And his mercy! That preserves us and sustains us as we struggle and walk on the narrow way with him!

  • True Humility (Be Like Jesus Part 3)

    In the past few devotions, we have looked at how Jesus was a model to us as believers on how to live. He demonstrated loving by meeting seemingly insignificant needs and accepting all people including those that others think are unimportant. Also, we have looked at how Christ is an example of study, using God’s word actively as a tool, and digging in deep to the study of God and his word. Today I want to look at another aspect of Christ, another way that he demonstrated how we should live as believers. I want to focus on Christ approach. Christ approached life and ministry with humility.

    Christ was a humble man. In Isaiah where it foretold Christ coming it described him this way: “For he grew up before him like a young plant and like a root out of the dry ground he had no form of majesty that we should look at him and no beauty that we should desire him.” Christ was unassuming in appearance, a very regular man.  He came as a human baby, weak, common, and helpless. He came in a fragile, human form. By this humble act he displays to us how we should approach life and ministry. 

    Christ’s plans while he was alive was not to stand out for any of the reasons that we concern ourselves with standing out every day. He wasn’t the biggest, the most beautiful, or the most masterful figure. He didn’t have a Halo or shine with glory unlike many pictures depict him. No, he was a regular, common, and a humble man. He has called us to have the same humble attitude.  We don’t have to be a standout in the world’s eyes.  Christ hasn’t called us to be prideful.  We don’t have to be striking or beautiful. He calls us to a simple, humble, an unassuming approach. One that doesn’t promote us but instead promotes God.

    Scripture confirms that indeed Christ’s approach and attitude was one of humility and that we ourselves are called to the same. In Philippians 2 it says” do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves…. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God something to be grasped but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of man and being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Through Christ humble birth, his taking on of a lowly feeble human form, by his submitting himself to God and God’s will, and in the way he walked humbly through the humiliation of his horrible death on the cross, he showed us true humility. He showed us how to consider others above ourselves. Like Christ we are called to do the same. 

    Also, Jesus promoted God and not himself. We know he promoted God with the message he shared. John 12:26 says” I have declared to them your name”. Christ declared and showed God’s message, the acclaim of God’s name, and he did God’s will. This shows true humility. Not self-promotion, not seeking glory for yourself, but instead everything for God’s acclaim alone.

    Another way we see humility modeled by Christ is that he humbled himself by ministering to the lowly. He wasn’t too proud to minister and witness to others who were despised or rejected by society. He didn’t just stay in the synagogue and seek power, riches, and acclaim. The number of miracles he did alone, the massive amount of followers that Jesus had, the power and authority with which he ministered would make it seem like he should have taken credit. Or that in the very least he should have somehow been compensated in some way. Yet that was not the case. He did not become proud or puffed up no matter how great his ministry was. He didn’t pat himself on the back and give himself credit but instead gave credit to God. 

    He did not personally profit from the ministry that he selflessly demonstrated. He did not shout or declare “see what I have done” to exploit others and to gain something for himself. He could have, and many did during his day, but Jesus was not like them. The wealthy and influential spiritual leaders during his lifetime that practiced the exploitation of others for their own benefit calling it godly works Jesus called “hypocrites.” He told them that they followed the letter of the law, but they missed the spirit of it. He called them snakes and a brood of vipers. All the benefit, all the acclaim, all the glory is supposed to be for God and for him alone, not for you or any other man. Jesus knew this and he lived that way. Many people missed the point and didn’t understand. Yet Christ has shown us the right way.  “Humble yourself in the sight of a Lord, and he will lift you up.” 

    Interestingly enough, the more Christ humbly loved, served, gave, and lived the more people were drawn to him. Wow, this contradicts what the world teaches us. Yet we see this principal of true humility so beautifully demonstrated by the life of Christ.

    What does this mean for us as believers? It means that we should do the same. The name we are to declare is God’s. The glory that we give is to God and to him alone. The benefits that are received are for God and for his Kingdom. We shouldn’t concern ourselves with proving ourselves or showing how great God is using us. We are not to worry more about ourselves and what we want than what others need. We are not to follow our own will and our own way; we are to walk as God guides and leads. We should do as Christ did. We should live declaring God’s name, showing God’s love, and pointing others only to him.

    I want to put a warning here. There’s another reason that you shouldn’t be proud. You see God opposes the proud. You do not want to be opposed by God. So, beware pride comes before a downfall. Stay humble.

    I challenge you today, if you haven’t started living your life through this humble approach, that you would pivot and choose humility. Perhaps you’re already there, humbly walking forward. In that case keep on fighting the good fight. Remember there is a reward and also a consequence for this choice of being humble. As Christ declares in Matthew” whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted” so whichever you choose, whether to follow the example of Christ or whether you do not, you will reap the reward for your choice. Choose humility, choose the way of Christ today.

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  • Live Like Jesus Part 2

    Recently, I wrote about how Christ modeled the life of study for us that we can follow. We should take in God’s word and actively use it as Christ did. I want to dig in deeper to the idea of being like Jesus and what that means. Let’s look at another way that Christ has modeled for us to live. 

    The first miracle, where he turned water into wine gives us a look into Christ’s nature. It was not yet his time to begin his ministry, but he was at the wedding. During that time, it would have been an embarrassment to the wedding host that they had run out of wine. Jesus cared about the host and the people. It seems like such a silly thing to even record, why does it matter that he bothers to turn water into wine? I think the reason why it’s recorded is because it shows something about Christ’s nature. He cared about something that mattered personally to someone. It wasn’t world changing, it wasn’t a significant or life altering need, it was wine for a wedding. Yet Jesus cared and he acted in response to the request that was made of him. He acted for a need that was insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but still he responded. You see Christ cares for the things that we care for, even the small stuff. There is not a need that is insignificant or unimportant to him when it matters to us. I don’t think we all understand that. Also, I don’t think everybody emulates Christ in that way, but we should. We should care for the needs of others, even for those that might be considered insignificant needs.

    When it comes to the business of caring for the insignificant, it wasn’t just insignificant needs that Christ cared for. It was also people that others considered insignificant. He reached out to many outcasts. He touched and healed the lepers; they were outcast because they were deadly to the people around them.  They were dismissed as lost or good as dead in the eyes of others. Yet Christ reached out, touched them, and healed them. He did not even want credit, he told them just go and be well.  Jesus just wanted to meet their needs, the needs of these outcast lepers. 

    Think about the people who followed Christ and who he reached out to. What about the prostitutes and the tax collectors who became valued members in his close-knit group? They were the pariahs of that day, yet Christ cared for them and demonstrated that care through acceptance and love. In this way he met a need that they didn’t even express with words. Not a need for material things or a need for healing of their body but he gave them acceptance. He was meeting the need of their heart. Can you imagine those who had not been viewed as important, were hated, were feeling unseen and not valued, and were rejected on the edges of accepted society yet they were the ones Jesus reached out to and touched. He accepted them. It’s amazing that by showing us this part of his character, he so fully demonstrates that we should not only care for the seemingly insignificant, unimportant needs of others, but we should also care for people who the world deems as insignificant or lost causes. We can clearly see thorough Christ life and ministry that he cares and values things and people that the world does not. 

    It says in 1 John 3:17 to 18,” but if anyone has seen a brother in need and yet closes his heart against him? How does God abide in him? Little children, let us love not in Word or talk but in deed and in truth.” You see we need to emulate Christ and the nature with which he loved. His love always led to action. 

    When he accepted, he reached out and touched and drew close. He cared not only about the life saving healings that people needed but he cared for insignificant things. Whether it was for wine to avoid embarrassment for a host, healing to restore productive life, acceptance to bring restoration and hope to the outcast, or salvation so freely given to us through Jesus’ sacrifice. Christ acted on other’s behalf selflessly.  He gave to others and gives to us what we could and cannot give to ourselves. People saw that Christ cared, they knew that he did not reject or run from their needs, but instead he met them and provided. This caused people to respond to him in droves. 

    The truth is everyone has needs, and we serve a God who cares about those needs. He values us all and has promised to be the source of all we need. If we live as Christ, we will be open to care as Christ cared. We will offer acceptance to the outcast and the rejected. We will offer and share that the source of all they need is Christ. We will not see any need or person as insignificant, instead we will walk in God’s love and provide as we can. We can call on God to provide on behalf of those in need in prayer. 

    We need to understand Christ walked in God’s power for God’s glory under God’s authority and we do the same as believers. Therefore, we can go forward in confidence as we give and go and pray that God will move and provide, it’s his work to do. Yet we must give him the opportunity by caring as Jesus did and being his hands and feet here on earth.

    To sum it up, to live as Christ lived, we must walk in God’s love while recognizing and caring for the needs around us no matter how small.  By faith and in God’s authority we will be the hands and feet of Jesus to meet the needs of those around us in practical ways and where we can. We offer acceptance, loving the outcast and meeting people where they are without condemning them. We need to realize that no need is insignificant, and no person is either. Jesus was God’s hands and feet where he was when he was here, and he calls us to do the same till he comes again. You are now God’s hands and feet where you are. I challenge you my fellow believer to be like Jesus and love as he loved, to the least of these and in action.

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  • Live Like Jesus

    Most of my life I have heard it said or been instructed to live like Jesus. What does that really mean though? How did Jesus live? In his early life there are very few things recorded. One of the events that’s recorded is surrounding a particular trip to Jerusalem where Jesus’s parents lost track of him. Scripture says that every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of the Passover. When he was 12, Jesus decided to stay behind. He wanted to have more time in his Father’s house. When his parents realized he was gone a few days later they returned to search for him and found him. They found Jesus in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers. He was listening to them, discussing with the, and asking questions. He was seeking and learning even as a young man. Later on in scripture it states that he grew in wisdom and stature and in the favor of the Lord.

    We see that first and foremost Christ is an example to us of study and of learning from God. He sought and gained wisdom. We know he knew the scriptures because he referred to them often when he spoke. When he was tempted, he used God’s word to set Satan straight and to defend himself. Oftentimes, he would say “for it is written.” You find this over and over in the gospels. In fact, 180 of the 1800 verses that recorded Christ speaking are either Old Testament scriptures or Old Testament references. From this we can glean that to be like Christ we need to be well studied in God’s word. Not only that but we can use God’s word as a tool, guidance, or defense as Jesus did.

    So, the first way that we can emulate Christ in our lives is to study and show ourselves approved, and to be ready to give a response for the hope that we have in God. Christ learned and went to the temple, he listened to God’s word, and memorized it. We should too. We shouldn’t do this study and examination of God’s word because we somehow think that God will love us more if we do. No, we seek him and study his words so we can know him better. We want to know more about God and our study of him is an action that shows our love and devotion to him. Yes, we want to be like Christ who also loved God’s word and used it as a lamp unto his feet and a light unto his path.

    Christ was a studious scholar of God’s word. He not only knew it and loved it, but he used it actively just as he has called us to. Scripture declares that we are put on and be clothed in the full armor of God.  One part of that armor that is essential is the sword which is the word of God, sharp enough to divide between bone and marrow. Be like Christ in this way. Study the word of God, absorb the word of God, declare the word of God, be guided by the word of God, find hope in the word of God, be protected by the word of God and live by the word of God.  How can you do all those things if you don’t know it? Don’t miss out on this great treasure God has given to you, his Word. 

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  • Real Love

    The other day I was singing a song to my children. The song is called “Love is.” In this song, love is compared to other things such as a soft summer rain, a smile and a kiss. Then it says something I never truly heard before, though I had sang the song a million times. It says, “and I like it best when it’s shared with a friend.” Hum? Is love really only supposed to be shared with a friend, even though that’s how I like it best?

    How many of you would agree with those lyrics? That we like it best when love is shared with a friend. I think just about every one of us would agree to that. It is easy to love someone who loves us or at least as a person we have affection for and who offers us care in return. Yet the Bible calls us to do more than simply share love with friends. The Bible asked us to not only love our neighbor as ourselves but also to love our enemies. It’s not enough just to love the easy to love and lovable, that is not the real love God has called us to share.

    In scripture we see that we should go a step further than just saying we love our enemies but also that we should bless those who curse us. What God asks is not an easy thing.  What is required of us goes against our nature. Yet it is something that Christ demonstrated for us.  It’s what he has called all believers to do.

    Remember that scripture “Christ demonstrated his love towards us that while we were his enemies he died for us.” He blessed us with salvation and redemption when we were his enemies. When we had so often cursed his name, taken it in vain, and sinned against him he still sacrificed everything for us. God showed us the true depths that love can reach and it is so much more than easy loving or loving the lovable. He asks us to go deeper in our love towards others. 

    So many Christians just love the love chapter in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13). They read it at weddings, post it on walls, sing lines from it in songs, and declare it loudly, but have they really read it all? Have they read it the right way? Do they know what it is actually saying? Let’s look at the love chapter in a new way today.  Not just thinking of loving people who love us, but loving the way God called us to.  To love everyone even our enemies as the chapter describes. 

    First, Love is patient and kind even with those who aren’t to us. Love does not envy or boast and is not proud or easily angered by not just those we like but by everyone and in all situations. God’s love shown by believers should keeps no record of wrongs for anyone, even when we have been wronged and even if they are not sorry. Love doesn’t rejoice in evil, but it rejoices in the truth. We are to love our enemies with this kind of unselfish, patient, charitable, forgiving, long suffering, and righteous love. The love chapter also declares that it doesn’t matter what gifts you have, what gifts you bring, without real love the gifts are nothing and worthless. How many times have we become short tempered with that person at work that seems to have it out for us or cursed back when someone shouts at us in traffic? Those are opportunities we miss to love our enemies. There are so many opportunities we allow to pass us by when we choose to only give love to those we want to. How many times do we withhold forgiveness because someone has offended us, and they do not deserve forgiveness in our minds? We should be careful to make sure that in all circumstances and as we have opportunity to love as God has called us to.

    Remember, when we love our enemies as Christ has called us to, we are following the example that Christ set for us when he died for us while we were still his enemies. If he can give his life so freely for his enemies, us, then we can be patient, kind, humble, calm, forgiving, and infuse our actions towards our enemies with real love.

    I challenge you today to ask yourself, how am I loving others? Am I only loving the way that easy – shared with friends only? Or am I willing to love the unlovable and unworthy like Christ loved me? Can I honor God by loving my enemies? If you haven’t started yet I challenge you to. If you need help, pray and ask God for help you love the way you should. With God’s help you can share God’s real love the way he intended you to share it. Let’s love today with the real love of God that is for everyone! 

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  • Restoration…It’s a Process (Part 2)

    For years, even though I’ve said God is still working on me, and I’ve even written about it, until recently I didn’t really understand what I was saying. I hadn’t thought about the parallel to the actual restoration process that I looked at in Part 1 of this devotion. Now I see clearly that  I am that item that is dented, rusted, and not working correctly anymore with broken parts.  Not pretty to look at and considered useless by some, yet he sees value in me.

    Even though I feel damaged and irreparable after heart breaks and disappointments, I’m not. I feel like I’ve been bent and warped in ways I can’t come back from, but as I sit here tonight with tears in my eyes the message, I feel like God is speaking to my heart is so very clear.  It’s the message I want to share with you here.

    He is saying to me and you that just like that man on YouTube who takes apart the damaged, thrown out item, one screw at a time (piece by piece), just like that man who determines the way that the pieces needs to be repaired and gives it unique loving treatment to restore it, Just like him, God will have to do that with us, with our hearts, and with our lives. Even if the process hurts like hell, we must trust our maker to remake and restore the broken and misshapen parts of ourselves.

    For me, it’s the thought patterns that I have that are destructive and damaging, the places where I’ve been hurt so I don’t know how to trust, the ability to allow myself to feel at all because for a long time I didn’t let myself feel and there was complete numbness. God would need to work to restore me, to restore every single piece, and I would need to let him. Even though it will take my entire life to complete the process. Still, I must trust, I must submit myself to God and surrender to the process. It’s not easy, but it is necessary for true restoration.

    For you it maybe a bit different in the method but the restoration process will be the same. You too will be required to submit yourself to God and trust him to know how to work in you and on you to bring about complete wholeness and full restoration.

    I’m going to be brutally honest now about the process of restoration.  I don’t want to have go through this process.  I want to skip some parts of it.  Can’t he just work on the things that I want him to, the easy parts?  Are there things that I’ve not allowed him to work on? Like the whole you can have this God, but not this. Maybe part of it is that I don’t understand why it’s not all better yet. After all, I’ve been a believer for a long time.  I wonder at times will it always hurt when I hear about a friend who’s struggling in their marriage? Will it always take me right back to those moments when I cried out to God in desperation because I didn’t know what I was going to do? Will I always be terrified of love because it has only brought me pain?   Will I always struggle with my self worth and seeing my value because of past rejections?  Will certain songs always feel like a knife stab to my heart? I’ve forgiven, I’ve moved forward, yet I continue to live my life with these past demons like divorce, infidelity, judgement, self hatred and rejection that follow me.  Parts that perhaps are not restored yet, and still need the loving treatment of my maker.  I need to give these parts to him too.

    I guess I thought when I was younger that it would be very simple, that if I just believed that God was working on me, that he would do the work and it would be all better. All finished. That is not how it has turned out.  There are so many pieces to repair, the treatment takes time and even when God repairs me, I make stupid choices and end up getting hurt again.  Or sometimes it’s not my choices but just life happens.  Life is so hard. I keep wondering if there’s some point where it’ll ease up a little, but it doesn’t. So, I feel like I get sandwiched in from the behind stuff that I thought was healed but still hurts like hell and the stuff that’s ahead that terrifies me because my rose-colored glasses are shattered in a million pieces. I know I always give encouraging uplifting thoughts but tonight I’m just being real. I feel pressed in from the past and the future. 

    I realize I’m a messed-up machine no matter how much I want to be new at present.  I also realize that I will struggle all my life no matter how much I don’t want to have the same thoughts that I fight and the same feelings that I deal with. I’m tired of this merry go round and I just want to get off the ride. But that’s not an option.  So how do I live not alright?  How do we all do it?

    First, we realize a truth that will set us free, that can encourage our downcast, weary soul. God doesn’t expect perfect now, he knows we are in process.  Hence the need for grace. Now I’m realizing that I need to be OK with not being alright or perfect as well. He’s going to work on healing and restoring me.  He’ll continue to my entire life, and it still won’t be done till I see him in heaven. I have to be OK and believe by faith that I’m whole even when in this moment I might not have that reality fully realized. This is where faith comes in.  You see, I have to believe by faith that I am the restored masterpiece, the finished work. Even though right now he’s melting my pieces down and reshaping and reforming me and probably doing it again for the 20th time, but he doesn’t give up. No, He keeps working on me. 

    This is the same for you.  As a believer, you need to be OK with just being OK. In this life, or during our lifetimes if you want to say it that way, God will continually repair, restore, heal, prune, and work on different parts of you. We are not ever complete on this side of heaven.

    As a believer we need to accept that the process of God refining us and restoring us is a lifelong process. If you look at someone who is a saint in your eyes or an amazing believer, I guarantee you when they’re on their own they stand before God no different than you do, in process. With just as many issues, challenges, and pains. In the church we need to stop preaching perfection in the vessel and remember that the holiness belongs to the Lord. It’s His Holiness that covers us, it’s never our own. We don’t have the capacity to be perfect within ourselves, only through the covering of Christ will we ever be able to stand before God and be declared righteous. If we accept that he’s continually working on us, then we’ll stay submitted and under his hand. Furthermore, we need to trust in the processes that he has to take each of us through.  For all of us, it is different.  For all our individual parts is varies as well.  Yet he is working in his way and in his time. We simply have to trust and submit. 

    For me, God has given the part of my heart that felt rejected the treatment of being bathed and lavished with love from himself as well as from friends and from family, people who express acceptance of me just as I am, and scriptures that speak of God’s acceptance of me. Slowly as I bathe in the light of his love, he is washing away the rust and the decay and the corrosion to restore that part of me. No longer rejected but accepted, daughter of the most High King.

    I can’t tell you what kind of treatment God will be doing to all the areas of my heart, but I can tell you that there is still so much to do.  I must choose to stay surrendered and trust no matter the unknowns.  Like me, I hope that you will stay in this process even if it’s difficult. We must choose to stay surrendered, trusting, and in the process of restoration.   Persevere, it is not easy.

    One more thing to consider is the reveal.  At the very end of every show, they do the flashback of the before picture.  Then they show the after-restoration pictures. It’s so dramatic and beautiful. Do you know how God sees you? He sees us as restored already as he’s working to restore you piece by piece. Bringing the not yet into the here and now. He’s so excited for the day when we see him, and we will be as he is. I don’t think there’s going to be this panorama in heaven where we see the brokenness and then the restored us but that would be so cool. The big reveal, you, fully restored and transformed by Christ through his sacrifice. Voila. Except we’ll know that it took a lifetime to get there. The transformation is far from instantaneous.   

    I know what you’re thinking, it doesn’t seem right that it would take a whole lifetime when he could just snap his fingers and do it in a moment. The truth is you wouldn’t really appreciate the beauty of the restored item if you hadn’t seen the devastation before. If you did not know the effort to restore and make new again you wouldn’t really appreciate the transformation fully.  Through this redemptive process God’s glory is revealed slowly, piece by piece, even more fully as he restores and redeems his people.

    He shows his faithfulness and his persistence by continuing to work on us and work with us every day. His enduring faithfulness is evident in his persistent and thorough work on our souls. He also shows his love and grace towards us as he continues to work and restore us even as we add damage while he’s still working.  So truly, there is a sign on my heart – don’t judge her yet there’s an unfinished part.  Lots of them actually, and that’s ok.  I hope today you say the same for yourself because it’s true.  

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  • Restoration…It’s a Process (Part 1)

    I had mapped out what I would write tonight when I sat down with tears in my eyes, I had a plan. Yet as I started to write, everything I could think of just didn’t quite gel. So, I paused as one thought swirled around in my head over and over.  I’m not alright. You see I realize now I’m not alright, maybe on this side of heaven I’ll never be completely alright, but I understand now that it’s ok to not be alright.  It’s ok to not be perfect or have it all figured out, because we are in process. Let me dive deeper into this thought.

    Recently, God has been working in me to heal and restore me.  Well, he’s been working on me all my life. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever watched YouTube videos. My sons love them and love to have me watch the videos with them.  One of the channels we enjoy is this show called “Rust and Restore.” It’s a restoration show as the name implies. It’s interesting and oddly therapeutic watching a dilapidated rusted old mechanical item being completely restored to a fully functional, beautiful, and just as good as new object. It is time lapsed so you see in minutes what took a long time to complete.

    There is a parallel in our Christian life to this very process. It’s the process of restoration.  The healing and restoration that God has been working in me my whole life is very much like the project that the man shows on his channel. There are parallels. First, it’s a complete restoration. You see he doesn’t just take an old item that’s rusted and dented and quickly bang out a few of the dents and cover it with paint. That’s not true restoration. If he were to do that all the corrosion and rust would seep through the new paint and none of the connections and broken parts on the inside would work properly.  Truthfully, the quick method is the one many of us take when it comes to personal restoration. We want the quick easy fix. To look good from the outside. However, the quick fix is insufficient to truly restore anything to newness and wholeness again, including you and me.  Instead of a quick fix or patch job, he carefully takes apart each piece noting where it went and what it did.  Then he carefully works to repair and restore the item one piece at a time.

    This brings me to my second parallel, it takes time. On the video even though it is time lapsed you can clearly see that this is a process that takes a significant amount of time. He restores piece by piece, painstakingly, and loving each part. For us this means a life time. So we should expect the process to be a life long restoration job done one piece at a time. That phrase “piece by piece” is one of my favorite lines from an amazing and true song. It is a song I consider to be my personal testimony, “Clean” by Natalie Grant.  It declares “And you’re helping me to believe, because you’re restoring me piece by piece.”  I’ve heard it, I’ve sang it, and I declared it, but I did not understand what this meant till now.  It meant that God’s restoration work on me would be a lifelong restoration project.  That piece by piece takes time.  I will not be all better quickly or ever be completely restored here on earth, although I want to be.  The struggle and restoration will continue all my life.  Sure, some parts maybe restored, but as a whole I will not be fully restored till glory.  I can be at peace and rest in confidence knowing that my maker is working on me still while I’m in process.

    Finally, the last parallel is that the show remind me that every piece must be restored differently. The man who restores doesn’t repair each part in the same manner.  The pieces need different treatment depending on what’s wrong, what they are composed of, and their sturdiness or lack thereof. I’ve seen him put some parts in a bath that eats corrosion and rust away, while other time he sandblasts it. I’ve seen some that he just takes a toothbrush looking implement and rubs off the rust, while others he has this filing machine that powerfully files away the old paint and damage. Sometimes he uses materials to fill holes, or even replaces parts that are not restorable. Here’s my point, not every piece can be treated the same way in order to restore it.  Some parts require a delicate hand while others require strength and force.  The master restorer knows how to properly restore each part to protect against destroying the part or damaging it irreparably in the process.  With his expertise, he can restore the item, through varied treatments. It is no different when God works to restore us piece by piece.  

    We must trust him through the process.  He is faithful to complete the work in us.  He is also wise enough to choose the correct methods for our various parts. He is strong enough to complete the work, he doesn’t get tired and quit.  He is not weary of doing whatever it takes to restore us lovingly.  He’s diligently working to bring about complete wholeness in all of us who are willing to submit ourselves to him. Even greater is the knowledge that in his eyes, We are already whole. It amazes me that he’s not frustrated with the process like I am. He is kind enough, faithful, and discerning enough to know how to go about accomplishing our redemption and restoration and seeing it through to completion.  

    Yes, you and I are in process, the process of full restoration. Are you brave enough to let God keep working? Can you trust God to do the work in you? Can we give yourself grace and understand that you are not there yet? It really is alright to not be alright, when you are in the master restorer’s hands.

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  • Deeper Gratitude

    As children we are taught that we should be thankful.  Yet we cannot show the deepest gratitude because we lack full understanding.  

    Our father and/or mother puts food out for us to eat.  We say “Thank you” because we are hungry and they have given us food..  We appreciate the food but not the effort it took to get the food.  We don’t know that first our parents had to work in order to earn the money to buy the food, that the job that they work at is grueling and has long hours but they must provide, that they had to make a list of all things needed for the meal and go to the store on their one day off or go out after a long day of work to get the food, and that they had to clean, cut, cook, and finish fixing the meal.  Or that when we finish they know they will have to start the grueling cycle again.  And yet they do it, day after day, because they love their children..  

    It is the same for young Christians.  They are thankful for the gifts of salvation, mercy, gentleness, goodness, and love yet they don’t understand or even comprehend the effort and sacrifices made by God so he can and does offer us those gifts.  

    How does our gratitude grow? It grows through true understanding. Now that I have had to put forth the effort to work, feed, clothe, shelter, and bless my own young, and not so young ones, I appreciate the effort of my parents in a new way.  Because I have lived it out. When I mature in Christ and I have to extend mercy, grace, gentleness, forgiveness, and love to others who are just as undeserving as I am, I will learn to appreciate Christ’s efforts and his sacrifice in a deeper way.   Our appreciation will deepen and our gratitude then can come from a place of understanding how much what we received really cost.  

    I’m not saying that children are not truly thankful.  They are thankful, truly, yet their thankfulness will grow to deeper depths as they grow and experience and put forth effort themselves.  As we grow and mature in Christ it is the same, our gratitude will reach deeper depths than ever before. Beyond that it will keep growing and deepening as clarity and understanding through experience continues to come.  We will thank him because we realize the tremendous sacrifice made, and all the effort he has and is making on our behalf.  He is the one who does it all, we just receive it.  We should learn and grow to be truly, and deeply grateful.

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  • What’s next?

    Self-actualization or realization is powerful. As a matter of fact, the first step in most recovery programs or in counseling is just that. It’s admitting and recognizing, being honest in your self-awareness about where you are. Yet we miss it, the point of it all when we stop there. Yes, you recognize and admit, but there’s more. We need to move into resetting patterns and working through our issues.

    The power of self-awareness is not in self-awareness or realization itself. It is in the change that the realization can bring. It is in the pivoting power of knowing that we don’t remain as we are, that we work to be a little bit better with each step. Think of it this way. If I go to the doctor and they advise that I have a condition such as diabetes or cancer. Just admitting it changes nothing. Only knowing doesn’t resolve the issue. Don’t get me wrong, we need to know what’s wrong, but there has to be a next step. What we do once we know is where the power of realization is truly discovered. Knowing changes nothing on its own, but when paired with the next step it can change everything.

    If you don’t admit the issue or the problem you will never seek to remedy it, you will not know how to remedy it. So, we can’t overlook what it means to realize or be aware. Yet once we know, then we can pivot. We can move and act in the right way to make right what is wrong. To heal what is sick. To treat our ills. To strengthen our weaknesses.  Simple right, but we all know that it’s not. Nothing is simple ever. This isn’t earth shattering information, we all already know it’s true. So why bother writing about it now? Because I see a trend in our world. A very disturbing and damaging trend. We get stuck.

    We confess and admit and never go further. We accept them as our conditions. I am you fill in the blank whatever, and we accept it. We become a victim of these things that we think we are. We tell ourselves this is just the way I am. I just have to live with this. But do we? Are we victims of our weaknesses, our challenges, our illnesses, of the roadblocks in our life? God forbid. We need to, especially as believers, understand that God reveals to heal. He shows us the areas of weakness in our lives so we can fortify our defenses. He shows us damaging patterns so we can in his strength and wisdom reset them. He reveals our wounds so he can provide healing and restoration to us. He doesn’t reveal to show us as victims, no he reveals to heal and lead us to be victors.

    So today I challenge you, yes, admit and recognize those things in your life that are pain points, challenges, weaknesses, or areas of sickness, but do not be a victim of them. Instead, take the next step towards transformation, healing, and freedom in Christ. It is for freedom that he set us free so walk in your freedom as victors. We have overcome by faith even when we can’t see it yet. With the whole body of Christ to support us and encourage us, with his spirit to empower us and comfort us, and with his promises of faithfulness to us we can walk forward in true victory. What’s next? Don’t miss it because that’s where the power of true freedom is for all us as believers.