Devotions For Real Life

God moments, lessons learned, and hope for the journey

Look for a new post every Sunday. My hope is you find encouragement, wisdom for real life moments, and share them with others who may benefit from any of the posts.

  • Keep Looking

    I couldn’t see the birds. For a few years now I’ve had a lovely comforter. I picked it out because I thought it was very beautiful. It is a bit busy though because it’s covered with flowers and foliage. After over five years of owning this comforter, I looked down this morning and was surprised to see something new. No, it wasn’t really that anything had happened to change the comforter itself, instead the comforter was exactly as it had been the day before and the day before that. As a matter of fact, it was the same as every day I had owned it. However, there was something I hadn’t seen before. The truth is that I had not really seen it fully, I thought because I had looked at it, I had seen it. That I recognized all of it. When in reality I had not really seen what I was looking even after gazing at it so many times. To my surprise there wasn’t just flowers on the comforter but there were birds. How can it be that something I bought over five years ago, something that I’ve owned for some time and looked at hundreds of times if not thousands of times, I did not fully know?

    It’s simple really. First the pattern is busy. There is so much to see when you look at it. It is not simple. If you look it from different angles, different lighting you will see different things. Also, my focus was not really on the details. When I looked at it, I only glanced at it, I didn’t really study it or observe it. I realized thinking about this experience that there is a lesson to be learned here. There is a lesson for us as believers.

    God is vast and his depths are beyond our imagining. Through his word and his spirit, he reveals himself to us. Yet, we can look at him our whole life though and keep discovering more of him day after day. Much like with my comforter so it is with God. Each time we look at Him, we see God and he reveals different aspects of himself we learn more. We experience his fullness, his truth, and his presence in new ways. He is the same God; we are just seeing things that have always been there, but our eyes did not fully recognize them. Maybe we couldn’t because our perspective had to be different. So, we should just keep looking, because there’s more to discover when it comes to God and all he is.

    We also have to make sure we consider our focus. When do we really see God? We see him when we focus on him. First Chronicles says that we should devote our heart and soul to seeking the Lord our God. In James 4 it says to come near to God, basically focus closely on him, and he will come near to you. If you seek him, you are promised that you will find him when you seek him with all your heart. We are to focus on God, to look to him. We are to study and discover the great depths of who God is. We will only discover if we focus fully on Christ.

    There are birds to discover if you will, greater depths and truths and lessons to be learned. There are deeper waters to dive into if we dare to step out further into who God is, to look more closely at Him and discover.

    Don’t just think because you have been a believer for a long time that there is not anything new for you to learn or discover about the Lord. There is no end to the discoveries God will reveal to you about himself if you remain a seeker always. I challenge you today if you haven’t looked in a while at his word or spent time with God to look again. Reconnect with Christ. If you find yourself distracted by everything around, you be intentional and put your focus on him. You will not regret it. If you are already looking, keeping looking, there’s more to see. The Bible tells us if we seek, we will find and if we knock the door will be opened. Keep seeking, keep knocking, keep discovering more and more about our Savior. There is more there to see than you can ever imagine or know. Take another look and see what you will find.  

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  • Unguarded and Safe

    I didn’t mean to say it. Even as the words left my lips, I was surprised by myself. I had an unguarded moment. A moment I couldn’t help but express what I was feeling and thinking. Have you ever done that?

    It is rare for me because I remain very much in control of myself. I not only think before I speak and act, but I also filter and consider every word or action and its consequences. I know this is the wise approach. After all it says in James one verses 19 and 20 “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” So, I know I’m not wrong in my normal approach to things. Cautious evaluation before speaking or acting. That is wise behavior.

    However, my unguarded moment caused me to pause and consider something. Is it OK to sometimes be open and unguarded? Is it right to be authentic, honest, and real in my interactions with others? I would argue that yes sometimes it is OK especially when there is a very important key factor involved. When it is someone, I can trust or someone I feel safe with. That was what prompted my unguarded moment. I felt safe and held like I could be real there and it would be OK. So, I let down my guard and my defenses. I was surprised but, in a way, I was also relieved because I had been holding back what I was feeling. In that moment though, that moment of letting go, of seizing the day, I found a bit of relief. Now I sit here asking myself the question am I on guard when it comes to God? Do I hold back from him?

    Even deeper do I really trust in God? The kind of trust that Proverbs speak speaks of, trusting him with all my heart and not leaning to my own understanding but acknowledging him in all my ways. Am I filled with all joy and believing as it says in Romans 15:13?  Do I feel safe and confident knowing that God’s plans for me are for my welfare and not for evil and that he plans to give me hope and a future? (Jer. 29:11) Do I rest fully in God unguarded because I know as it says in Psalms 91 that “he who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.” Do I say to the Lord you are my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust and under your wings will I find refuge? Do I believe that his faithfulness is my shield and my buckler?” Those thoughts race through my mind this morning. Do I truly believe I’m safe, completely safe with God, safe enough to be real in his presence?

    God is a safe place and a refuge for believers. We don’t have to stand on guard or defensively against God. He has defenses that protect us, so we don’t have to protect ourselves against him. We actually get to rest in him. We can say what we think and feel. We can be authentic and our true vulnerable very human selves. We can lay down our defenses, drop our guards, throw off our burdens and cares, and rest truly rest in God and in God alone.  

    In this world where we have to be wise and deliberate with every word or action, God has given us a refuge and a safe place in himself.  We can approach him with trust just as we are. What an awesome thought! What an amazing blessing!

    I challenge you today to be real with the Lord, after all he knows all of you already. You don’t have to work so hard to try to be acceptable to him, you don’t have to try at all. He just asks that you come as you are. He wants to give you rest today, to be a place where you can be entirely unafraid to be yourself and to express your thoughts and feelings.

    I pray today you can rest unguarded within the arms of Christ and that you can feel secure in the shadow of the Almighty.   That you will feel and know that he holds you and covers you under his wings. Surprise yourself today like I was surprised. Choose authentic trust, choose surrender, and find relief and refuge in God!

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  • Not My Will, But Yours Lord

    Not my will but yours Lord. This phrase uttered by Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane holds great wisdom and great meaning for us as believers. There is a lesson to be learned here.  

    Christ said these words regarding a very troubling future he knew was coming. His horrific death, the pain, and the suffering he knew that he would have to endure.  All this was on his mind when he said those words that perhaps he had said many times before in easier times. In his grief he cried out “let this cup pass from me, nevertheless, not my will but yours be done.”

    His mother, years before, when she was just a teenager and being told by God that she would conceive through the power of the Holy Spirit God’s very son, Emmanuel, had a very similar response. Becoming mother to Jesus was a daunting and even dangerous for this young teenage engaged Jewish girl. She knew what challenges she would face.  How would she tell her parents? How would she tell Joseph? By law she could have been stoned or at the very least put aside by Joseph. What would the people around her think?

    Well, she knew what they would think, but how would she deal with that public judgement. I’m sure in that moment she was well aware of the significance of what was happening and the impacts it would have on her, but she still said to God” Here I am, the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” 

    Mother and son, both facing known trouble and pain, yet they still said God do as you will. Wow! What an example for us as believers. Not only in the easy times or in the good moments do we surrender to the will of God but also when you see the storms ahead and know that we have to go through them.  There are inescapable storms you cannot avoid in life.  These are times that you will have to go through pain, suffering, and uncertainty. That somehow these things are a part of God’s plan for you seems inconceivable. How could that be, and can we still say in those moment, “your will be done?” Will we still choose to say “Your Will God, not mine.”

    We pray the Lord’s prayer so much we don’t even realize that the phrase “thy will be done” is there.  We don’t realize what it means, that simple phrase. It is in fact a part of the Lord’s  prayer. “Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done.” Did you catch that? We pray that phrase in the Lord’s prayer too, but do we mean it?

    Do we really mean no matter what your will is Lord? Whether it is for moments of ease or in times of trial.  Whether it is during times of struggles and challenges to be overcome or when the road is level, and less effort has to be put into trusting and waiting on God.  Whether it is during times of perfect health or in moments of pain and sickness. Whatever our moments, no matter what is happening in them are we willing to be in his will and not demand our own. 

    Not only that but to be able to say in those moments with confidence that “all things work together for the good of those who love and serve the Lord.” If we can get ahold of this truth, then no matter what we face we can accept his will for our life. 

    I’m not saying God wants us to be sick or hurt, that our harm is his will. The scripture that only good things come from God is true and I believe it.  However, we live in a fallen world. In this fallen world our bodies are literally dying from our first breath. He is not the cause of the suffering that we have in this life. Yet he can use all things that we experience whether it be our pain, our joys, our suffering, our successes, our challenges, and the trails we face to draw us closer to him, for our ultimate good, and for His glory.

    We won’t feel great every moment in life. Life won’t be easy every day, but God is always good nevertheless. His will is always what we should desire to be in.  And yes, every step of a righteous man is ordered of the Lord.

    When you face impossible moments. Moments like a terminal diagnosis, moments when you have lost your job or home, moments of betrayal by others, moments where God’s call on your life is challenging and daunting, moments when his goodness seems to be a lie, yet you know it’s not. I hope that you choose to say “let it be to me as you will, not my will but yours be done” in every moment. 

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  • For My Children

    I find myself sitting today thinking about my children. Grateful is probably too small a word for how I feel about the blessing of having them in my life. There’s not a day that goes by when they are brought to my mind that I don’t want to stop and smile, laugh, or pray.

    It’s hard to imagine but for the last 23 years I have had the privilege of being called mom. When I was 23 and having my daughter, I don’t think I could have imagined even half of what it has meant to me to be her mother and to be mother to my other children. I vividly remember holding my oldest in my arms the first time and realizing that my whole entire life had changed because the entire focus of my life shifted. It wasn’t about me anymore I knew it would be about her. I also knew that that would never change. Sure, I was thankful for her then but my thankfulness for my daughter has grown immensely through the years. And not just for my oldest child but for every single one of my children. It always felt the same meeting each one of them. 

    Each of them coming into my life changed me in ways that I probably will never understand because I can’t imagine my life without them.  Each one of them so very unique and special and mine. Nothing can take that away from me.  I will always hold the memories I’ve made and the moments we’ve shared. For each and every one I’m so very grateful.

    First, I’m thankful for the challenges that they brought to my life. Now I know that this wouldn’t seem like something to be thankful for, but it is. Life would be very boring without the many varied experiences and trials that my children have brought into it. Times such as when they were young and I was trying to figure out how to get them to sleep better, make safe choices, learn, and grow successfully in school. Just generally the struggle to keep them alive and healthy was a challenge and still is. There wasn’t a day that there was not some problem to solve, giant to defeat, behavior to temper, love to offer, or lesson to teach. Due to the fact that I had four children the challenges were multiplied.  Still I thank God for the challenges that they brought into my life because the challenges represent all the growth that they’ve experienced and that I’ve experienced through them over the years.

    They’ve taught me to be unselfish and attentive. They’ve taught me to be proactive and to not be intimidated when things don’t go just right. They’ve taught me that I can bear any moment when I bear it with those I love. For the times they intentionally challenged me and for those when life was just challenging for them, and I had to face it alongside of them I am truly grateful. We are all better for it.

    In addition to being thankful for the challenges, I’m thankful for the motivation that they provide. They didn’t ask to be brought into this world. I didn’t even plan to bring them into this world honestly, not intentionally. God brought each of them into my life. They don’t owe me anything for being brought here. Instead, I owe them. I owe them in the way that I need to be to them. They need me to be a mother who is an example and a mentor. They need me to be a mother who is a wise provider and caretaker. They need me to be a light and an encouragement in an often-discouraging world. Knowing that they need me and that they depend on me has become a great source of motivation for me. When I was going through some of my darkest moments, I knew that I couldn’t quit or give in to despair because if my ship sank, I had four other souls on board that would go down with me. I wouldn’t be the only one affected by my demise. So, I fought harder when I didn’t have the strength even to fight for myself. I kept bailing water out of my sinking ship because I loved my children, and they motivated me. So, for that constant source of motivation that pushes me to be the best version of myself that I can be I’m so thankful. 

    I’m so very grateful also for the memories. Memories are really all that we hold, all that we actually have in this life. They’re the only tangible intangible thing that exist. We can bring them to mind in moments of despair, we can relive them and feel the same joy and love. Memories are powerful. My children have given me many. Mostly good, some amazing, and even the ones that are hard to remember I’m thankful for. Because every memory represents a moment. A moment that I was blessed to have them.

    I’m thankful for their loving eyes that see me in a way that I do not and can not see myself. When I would look and criticize myself for how I appear they tell me I’m beautiful. When I would dismiss my efforts as weak or inefficient they seem to marvel at everything I do. They once told me they thought I was Wonder Woman, I thought they must be crazy because there’s no superhero part of me, not that I see in myself. Yet through their eyes of love for me, I’m their hero, their wonder woman. I’m so grateful. It gives me the opportunity if I look through their eyes to see that maybe I am a woman of worth because I’m theirs. Because I’m their mother, I matter to them in a way that no one else will. What a gift! It’s not one I ever want to take for granted. I’m full of gratitude that they can see me with eyes of such love and with such grace. 

    As the years have passed, I find myself grateful more and more when it comes to my children. They are truly the best parts of me. The best decision I’ve ever made, my greatest accomplishment and achievement has been loving them.  I’ve regretted things in my life, but I’ve never once regretted them. It is my sincerest prayer and hope that they never regret that God gave them to me. I will spend every day working to be a mother to them that I know they deserve.

    So, this Mother’s Day as they reach out and thank me for being a mom. I want to reach out and thank them for being my children. For the blessing and the challenges that they have brought to my life.  For being the motivation that they give me to keep enduring no matter what. For the many memories and moments that we’ve shared and hold together. Finally,  for the amazing loving and gracious way that they see me. For these things I am truly grateful, for my children I am overwhelmed with gratitude! 

    I am truly a woman blessed to be called mother to my kids! I love you more than you could ever imagine, only surpassed by God’s love for you! So, if you want to give me something this Mother’s Day receive the message of my love to you and hold on to it forever.

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  • The Illusion of the Fairy Tale Life

    I have a bone to pick with Disney and golden books and all the other fairy tale advocates or promoters I should say. For so many of the Hallmark movie makers and even all too many ROM coms. As a child born in the West or in America, however you want to say it, I was raised with fairy tales. So many great Once Upon a times that only highlight key pivotal amazing moments and happy endings. Sure, every fairy tale has its drama, villains, or problems that happen but there is always the resolution and good winning the day.  Every piece of the story are big moments in the characters life played out for our enjoyment.  They don’t highlight the everyday mundane tasks and chores and there is always a happy ending. It gives us this idea that life should be that way, or we want it to that way. We live, holding our breath until the next big moment and everything in between it’s just wasted space. We lose something, well we lose everything when we live that way, and we miss the point of life thanks to unrealistic expectations and an idea that our life can be the fairy tale existence.  That doesn’t mean that life will be a nightmare either but maybe there is a truth somewhere in-between.  

    I would argue, like many have before me, that life is not the big moments but it’s everything in between. Yet because I was raised with this idea of it’s not a great story unless it’s got all these highlights you start to think that your everyday life is not really a great story or a great life really. You get disenchanted with the everyday and that’s really sad because probably 75% of our life is every day. It’s the moments of cleaning the dishes, folding the laundry and putting it away, relaxing on the couch either reading or watching a TV show with your family. It’s laboring over the dinner, eating the meal with your family, and then debating over who’s going to clean the dishes.  It’s sitting in meetings at work, and paying bills, buying groceries and planning for living. For every person, the everyday looks a little different because we are all a little different. It depends on if you’re a kid and going to school or if you’re a younger adult without a family or even an older adult without a family versus an adult with a family. For some you’re an older adult that has an empty nest or an older adult that’s retired. We all have a different every day. Yet there are so many similarities in our lives – obligations to fulfil, responsibilities to complete, tasks to maintain, chores to tend to, a mind to keep active and growing, health concerns and maintenance, etc. I could go on and on because the list of similarities goes on and on. The issue is that we keep getting fed this message that we’re supposed to be this great something with all the giant moments. This idea leaves us dissatisfied with our current mundane, real-life existence.

    We do the same thing with our faith. We only look at the highlights of our walk with the Lord as important. The moment we were saved, the healings that we have received, or the great breakthroughs that have happened in our spiritual life, on our journey. We don’t get that our spiritual life is really all the in between moments. It’s the daily maintenance and care for your soul.  When you pray and read God’s word in private and together.  And yes, there should be more on your own then together.  It’s the fellowship that you share with your fellow believers learning God’s word and serving each other, bearing each other burdens as the bible instructs.   It’s the acts of love and kindness that you show to shine God’s light in our dark world. It’s all of those moments mostly unseen, but sometimes seen. It’s also the moments when we cry out to God in desperation because we just don’t understand or don’t know how to keep going. Every single one of those small moments is what, put together, is the sum of our spiritual life. If you keep waiting for the big moment you miss living, you’ve missed the point.

    The reason why I personally have a bone to pick with fairy tales is this attitude has created a sense of discontentment in me with my life when I shouldn’t be discontent. Partially because I feel like this moment should be more than it is. How can I be pleasing to God sitting in my room on my own offering nothing to anyone in the world? Is that a waste of time? Everyone else would see this as a complete waste, no one is benefiting at that moment, or are they? I am, in this moment growing closer to God and I matter to him, so this is not a wasted moment. The point of life is to continue to love and learn and grow and give and go and however that is happening whether it is in those moments we’re doing the little, tiny things that make up the majority of our life or in those gigantic/seen moments, all of that is still being accomplished. We shouldn’t diminish the small things or feel discontent because it’s not a big moment or because I’m only benefiting my own spiritual life. You see, in all those moments we’re still accomplishing the point, the purpose, and the reason we are here. The truth is our spiritual lives are a journey to one target, God. It’s not about service, it’s not about how much I give or go, it’s not about how much I deserve through actions or works, and it’s not about me or what I’m doing at all. It is all about our relationship with God. The only point is reaching God’s heart, knowing him more, being in relationship with him.  

    Nurturing that relationship cannot only be done with big moments but it has to be done in the everyday. It is not a waste to sit still alone in God’s presence and breathe him in. When I play my piano by myself and worship the Lord with no one watching, I’m not wasting the talents God gave me. No, I’m lavishing them on him. I don’t know where we got this idea that unless we are considered great saints or unless what we do is benefiting others immediately than we aren’t making any kind of a difference. That’s just a lie pure and simple that Satan uses to burn out believers through guilt of not doing enough, or at least not realizing their first and only work is to have and nurture the relationship with the Lord. 

    Yes, there are big names you read the Bible but there are so many others probably never mentioned, and not remembered by anyone but God. They made a difference too.  It’s enough that God alone knows our name.  It is enough that we are lavishing our love on God in hidden places, that is building our bond with him.  Even Jesus did this, he went away for quiet time with God. He showed us by example that you cannot give, go, serve, without that time alone.  That study and prayer are just as important as proclaiming.  All moments, seen and unseen are still our life and have equal value.

    We’ll probably all have a moment in the faith where we get to do something great and there’s recognition, we just must be really careful because that’s not the point. First of all, the recognition needs to be turned around to the person who needs to be glorified and should be glorified, which is God and God alone. Secondly, the recognition that we should be seeking is in our relationship with God. Most of it’s not going to come in the giant moments with the lights and the fireworks and big breakthroughs, it’s going to come in all the small, amazing ways that he works in our life every day. In the way so many days the devotion I read was just the one I needed. Or like how there are so many days when I have that friend to call when I don’t know even how to express what I’m feeling yet Jesus is there with me supporting me and reminding me I’m not alone through the love and support of friends. Through the glorious nature around me when I’ve realized that God made that knowing that I would see that that day, that he did that just for me for that tiny moment that no one else in the world cares about. No moment or thing is insignificant in God’s eyes.

    This world and society promote seeking acclaim and recognition at all costs. They say strive for excellence but really what they mean is stand out, so everyone sees you because it’s only real and legitimate if you recognized for it. That’s not God’s philosophy. The world and society will tell you that we work all those little moments because we want to get the big moments, the great moments, but that’s not what God would want for us either. He wants every moment in the here and now to be a moment that we utilize to get closer to him. Notice I didn’t say that it was about serving or giving or going it’s about building your relationship with God. Out of the outflow of that sometimes there are opportunities to give and to go and to serve and to love but if you don’t have that foundation of a relationship with him, what are you giving and going and serving and loving from? 

    The world would have us think that you must have the happy ending and that can be accomplished by many the happy moment and not all the others normal mundane times. We know the truth is we have a happy ending; we’ve been promised the victory and eternal peace and joy and hope and love and a home beyond any castle Disney ever could have conceived of drawing. However, we also know because of God’s word that in this world we will have trouble, but we are to take heart because God has overcome the world. 

    That means in my every day as I’m nurturing my relationship with God, I’m going to face difficulties, I’m going to face pain, I’m going to experience loss and grief, and I am going to have an actual life. Not those made-up stories, highlight reels, or fairy tales where you ride off into the sunset.  We know that wasn’t really the end. We live knowing that real life stories are gritty and dirty and long, but there’s such a beauty in the struggle and in the triumphing over every obstacle. In the knowing that our hope was never that every single moment would be a great moment, that every single moment would be recognized by everyone in the world, or that every single moment would be easy and trouble free.  No, our hope was in knowing that we have that relationship with God to carry us and sustain us until we receive the promise of the happy ending, the true happy ending we know will come. 

    So, in light of this, I suppose I should stop waiting for my life to be a Disney movie and just instead live every moment taking full opportunity of that moment I’m in. Not expecting that moment to be anything other than what it is, a moment that I have been given breath and a chance to be. A moment I can learn and live and grow and give and sometimes go. A moment that no matter what it looks like I can be content in because I understand, and the gravity of that small moment is just as important as the moment of a mountain top experience. Whether I’m cleaning the dishes, sitting in a lady’s group studying the Bible, in my car all by myself singing music, laying in my bed journaling, whether anyone in the world sees me or knows me in that moment I know one person who does, and He is the only person that matters. That moment is special, unique, and wonderful, whether it is great or hidden and not seen.  Because He sees it all every one of the moments and loves me/values me the same in each.  Why should I view them any differently?

  • The Old Pictures

    I was looking through old pictures. That was probably my mistake. Sometimes it makes me melancholy when I look back. Mostly because I feel like I’m not the person that I once was. Sometimes I wonder what that girl would have thought about the woman that I’ve become.  

    I know I’m not the only one who’s ever felt this way. It’s not an easy feeling or emotion to live through. It’s not exactly a regretful emotion it’s mostly sadness. You see I grieve for the things that never were or the things that I lost. I look in the hopeful eyes of my younger face and see someone I wish I still was but know that I can never be because of what I have lived through.

    I’m not sure what to do with this but I know it’s not beneficial to get trapped here. So, I’ll let myself for a moment feel and then I’ll get up and move on. For better or worse I am who I am now. Although, I might not be the person I want to be or the person I thought I would be, I’m certainly still in a great position. I’ve heard that saying it’s not a lot but it’s my life. Well, it’s true that we have to learn to be content with the reality we live in. It’s not settling or wanting less for yourself it’s just realizing that you have to be at peace in your reality.

    Maybe I’m glad that the younger me didn’t know, that she could look forward to the future with hope and anticipation. Maybe 30 years from now I’ll feel the same way about who I am today, when I’m a much older version of myself, because who I am now is pretty wonderful too.

    We aren’t still waters like a pond instead we are rivers flowing. Our flow is guided by the terrain around us and at the same time we affect the terrain. It’s not sad that it flows or that it’s changing its just reality. It’s the same way it is for us. We shouldn’t let the past be a glum thing instead we should learn lessons from the experiences we’ve had, heal, and grow even through the pain we experienced.  

    We should seek to become better in our life, not bitter. We should do just keep swimming like Dory says in “Finding Nemo”. Just keep swimming. Keep your eyes forward and keep moving forward. It’s OK to look back at pictures every once in a while, but don’t get trapped there. Remember we don’t have yesterday because it’s already gone, and we don’t have tomorrow because we don’t know if it will ever come. All we have is right now. I pray today you can find joy in that, or at least a bit of contentment.  

  • You Are Worth it!

    I’ve not been a person who indulges in emotion or lets it overwhelm the majority of my life. I like to keep it in check and stay in control. After all, I was taught to suppress, suppress suppress, right? Recently I found myself standing in an audience pretty much with free-flowing tears running down my face. I couldn’t stop it.

    The first time I had just known God would send a message it had been the be content message.  I’ve written about that experience. It had been a long time though since I felt that stirring or urging to listen. That what was going to be sang or said would be what I needed to hear. But as I stood in the audience that night, at a call to worship service, I felt the spirit urging me to listen close. That the next song was a message for me.

    The song started and the most amazing love song from God to me poured out. “I am seen by you and seen by no one else. With a million chances, all my chances have run out, still you search for me when the search party has already gone home. You stay with me; oh, you make sure that I’m not left alone”. Wow! What a message and that was just verse one.

    God sees me, he knows me, and yet he loves me. He seeks me out and stays with me. That thought amazes my heart. The worship leader sat at her piano and humbly/honestly declared the truth of God’s amazing love. It was a message just for me that night.  A message that went on to proclaim that “I can’t mess this love up even in the mess I’ve made. That he takes me regardless of all my mistakes.”  I don’t know if you’ve ever been there in the middle of a mess of your making. Looking at all the shattered broken pieces around you and realizing there’s no one to blame but you. Even there in that place, he accepts me and loves me. He thinks I’m worth it. That was the message of this song, that I’m worth it.

    Maybe you’ve been there, maybe you felt that very raw feeling of being undeserving and of not being worthy. The thoughts plague you that somehow there’s something that you could do or something that could be done to you that would somehow make God turn away. I’m here to tell you today that he accepts this fully imperfect person regardless.  He accepts us as we are not as we wish we were.  He knows us and his love is being freely offered to us. It is His love that says we are worth it. 

    It’s not our circumstances that make us worthy. It’s not our successes or victories that make us worthy. It’s nothing that we have ever done or will ever do that makes us worthy in God’s eyes to be loved, to be held, to be treasured, to be protected, and to be his. It’s his love for us alone that proves we’re worth it. 

    Maybe I’m not the only one who needed the reminder, maybe I was not the only one there that night in tears because of the truth of God’s amazing love. So let me remind you today of the amazing truth of God’s love for you, perhaps you need to hear it as well. 

    The love that just like the song says “I’m worth it, even when I am a wreck. I’m worth it, fully imperfect. I’m worth it when I’m on a mountain top. I’m worth it, I’m dancing till my feet won’t stop.  I’m worth it, from my beginning to my end.  Your love says I’m worth it.” It’s my hope for you today that you will hear these words and know that they are for you.  That you will find freedom for any shame you feel or from the many lies that tell you you’re undeserving. That you will find joy in knowing you are his beloved and you are one he values so much that he was willing to give everything for you. That you will find hope, that even as you continue to live and move, have success but make mistakes also, that it’s not what you do that makes you worth it, you were already worth it in his eyes, and you will always be. I pray you will know fully today that God’s love says You Are Worth It!

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  • Stressed

    Stressed. That’s actually how I was feeling, quite stressed. What does stress really mean? According to the Oxford dictionary it is experiencing mental or emotional strain or tension. This feeling leads me to pass judgement on myself unfairly I might add.  Perhaps you have been here too and had the same thoughts about your life or yourself. Here’s how the thought goes. I should be stronger and just be able to deal with it. I only feel stressed because I am weak. So basically, I get a frustrated with myself because I feel stressed, and I feel like that stress is a feeling I have no right to feel. I dismiss the stress as weakness on my part instead of the truth of what it really means.

    Things that we are responsible for in life become like weights. The more things that we are responsible for, the more weight that is on our shoulders. For instance, in my case I have work, a home I manage, finances to keep in check, debts I have to pay, my children’s school and medical care to be mindful of, all of my children’s needs including the luxuries like concerts and lessons and items such as that, my own spiritual life and growth, any place I have volunteered to help and assist, and on top of all that my own health and sanity to manage. That’s a lot to keep together. That’s on a normal day when you don’t throw in any unforeseen items. Like in the last two months when I’ve had to move unexpectedly. Both pack and unpack. Or when items I expect to arrive in my finances come two weeks late and I have to figure out how to shift everything. So essentially, I have these regular burdens and responsibilities that I carry every day. Not just a few of them but a lot. Add to that any of the extra things that life might throw at me. It’s no wonder that I want to dodge them.  It’s no wonder I feel not strong enough and even stressed.

    Yet I find myself sitting here this morning knocking myself for feeling stressed, when the reality is how could I not feel stress with all the pressure of life and all the responsibilities bearing down on me? How could mental or emotional strain not be the condition I’m in? 

    The truth I need to recognize is that I am not weak to feel this way. If I were a weak woman, I would have folded by now under all the pressure. So, I will not let these feelings inform my opinion of myself. I am in no way less than because pressure leads to this crushing feeling of stress. The truth is life it’s quite burdensome for me as it is for many other people. So what do I do with this knowledge.  If simply recognizing that I shouldn’t be critical of myself for feeling this way is not enough to relieve the pressure of it all? Is there a simple cure or remedy?

    There is not a remedy within myself, but there is help.  What might that help be? The first step is knowing where to go for help. Matthew 11 says “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” We have to be willing to lay down our burden and somehow give this to the Lord. How do we give our burdens to God? The answer is found in another place in scripture. It says in Philippians 4 verses 6 through 7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” This is where prayer makes a huge difference in our life. As believers we can try to continue to carry all of our concerns and cares on or own. God’s not going to wrestle them away from us, he gives us a choice. We can choose instead of anxiousness and stress, to come to him and give him our burdens. In prayer we can release our concerns and cares to the Lord. Since I have so many daily responsibilities and burdens, daily, sometimes hourly, I will need to come to God and leave each one at his feet. Ultimately, he is my provider, he is the one who orders my steps, who gives me favor, who gives me strength, and who provides the peace I need to not allow anxiety and stress rule me. I can feel peace because I know that when I place my finances, my children, my work concerns, my unexpected challenges, my health concerns, my relationships, and even my very spiritual health and mental well-being in his hands. Then I can rest, after I release my cares to him and trust in his ability to take care of them. 

    I’m not going to be able to work out every situation in my life. I can rest in the peace knowing that if I’m seeking him that he will take care of these things. Now this does not mean that I don’t need to work. This does not mean that I don’t need to make wise choices with my finances or with my health. This does not mean that I am somehow putting everything in God’s hands and doing nothing proactive in my life to take care of myself or my life. Not at all. What it does mean is that I recognize that ultimately these things are in God’s hands and along with the actions that he gives me to do that are wise, all I need to do other than that is rest and trust. 

    No amount of scheming and strategizing to try to determine how to solve a problem will truly lead me to the resolution. I’ll do what I can do that’s within my power and then I can rest and leave my cares to God. Some people might say this answer is too simple so it can’t be right, or they may argue that this is an oversimplification of what we should do as a believer. But it’s not. We do act as far as we can, but the first action should always be recognizing that God is big enough and that our problems aren’t ours only, because we are his, our concerns are his concerns. We don’t bear the burdens and responsibilities of our life on our own shoulders when we bring them to the Lord. In this way he can carry the weight for us. Or at least the load will feel lighter. 

    Maybe you’re like me this morning and all you see are the burdens. I challenge you to look up and see the one who wants to carry it for you. That’s what I’m doing. I’m reminding myself of my faithful Lord who’s never failed me, and who promised that if I come to him I will find rest. You can find rest for your soul too under the shadow of his wings. You can exchange your heavy load for his much lighter one. You can sleep on the boat in the middle of the storm because you know God is taking care of you. No matter how many plates you have spinning in the air, no matter how much responsibility you think is yours to shoulder through life on your own, remember it’s not yours to carry alone.  As it so beautifully states in 1 Peter 5 and I challenge you today, “cast all your cares on him, for he cares for you.” Do you believe it? Will you release it? My friend, I pray you find rest and peace today from the stress of life, as you bring your burdens to the Lord.

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  • Just a…

    Sometimes we qualify things with the word just. It was just a hello, just a simple card, just another unnoticed and unimportant action or moment.  Is it really that simple though? Is there such a thing as just a whatever? How many times can a small thing in our eyes actually be significant? We think when that when a stone is thrown into the water of someone’s life there will only be a tiny wave but really it can creates a tsunami that changes everything. Before I go down this road too far, I’ll tell you what made me think about this.

    A long time ago when I was a young teenager there was a lady in my church. God had laid it on her heart to reach out to me. I don’t know why she reached out and listened to God on my behalf, but she did. She gave me a Christmas card. Just a Christmas card. We developed a mentorship and friendship relationship. One that meant so much to me that I shared it with a lot of people around me. Our small ragtag group would meet at her house on Sunday to have lunch. The group got larger and larger as I brought more and more people and they brought people too. She never complained, she simply prepared more food. She always had open arms and an open heart for me and for so many others. It started with just a Christmas card. How many other times had she given out a Christmas card and it didn’t have the same impact? Somehow though, that time it changed my life, and it changed her life too. Sometimes we do a very small thing, and we don’t realize the weight that it carries. It’s almost like the things that we do are all stones or seeds. Maybe they all look the same size, but some are heavier than others creating more waves and impact on our life. Some seeds take root and sink deep. She most likely thought the small pebble that she threw would just make a tiny wave but instead it made such a significant difference that it didn’t just change my life, but it changed so many others. From that one seed, so much fruit came. All from just a Christmas card. 

    When I was in college and interested in my former spouse it happened to be Christmas time. A friend of mine gave me a card and said here take this card to him. Simple right another Christmas card, just a Christmas card. That Christmas card though began a series of events that would lead to a 15-year marriage and four children. 

    Maybe you’ve had a similar experience in your life. Where it was just a simple thing, a small act, or a gift that seemed at the time so insignificant that you would never know it really mattered. It’s like we spend our life throwing these stones but not understanding the weight or the significance of the stone when we throw it. Maybe this is why the Bible tells us to take every opportunity that we have to share the love of Christ. It’s like we are spreading seeds of kindness and throwing stones of hope and love into people’s lives. We don’t know which will have the greatest impacts.

    Maybe that just a hello that you speak will give someone the hope they need to endure one more day. Maybe that just a quick stop to check on somebody could potentially change the course of your life or theirs. Maybe we should stop saying it’s just a whatever and realize that every moment and every action we take is a stone that we are throwing or a seed we are planting. All of them will have varying degrees of significance, and we don’t get to choose which ones hold more weight or which ones take root. That’s why we have to be really careful about not holding them back when we have the opportunity, because only you can throw the stones that are given to you in your hand or plant the seeds God has given you. 

    You see I don’t know if anyone else ever would have done what my friend did for me when I was a teenager. Reaching out, taking me under her wing, feeding me not only physically but spiritually as well, talking to me about the Lord and life, listening to my incessant silly concerns from a very immature and young heart and never making me feel bad about it.  All of that didn’t start with just a Christmas card.  No, it started with the Christmas card, the one small pebble thrown that carried more weight or the seed that would take root and produce abundant fruit. It’s impact was greater than she could have imagined

    Do you see what I’m saying? Don’t dismiss any action you’d take as insignificant. You don’t know which of your actions will be life changing for another person or even for you. Don’t hold back and not take a chance and do that small thing because you think it won’t matter. That moment was given to you to throw that stone or to plant that seed and God’s counting on you to do it. If you don’t, maybe no one will. It could be a tragic opportunity lost, and you’ll never know the impact that it would have had if you had just taken the chance.  You will never fully understand what could have been if you had just taken the time, and if you had just realized that every single small act of kindness can impact so much more than just that one moment that it’s done in.  

    There’s no such thing as just a. There are seeds and stones. Opportunities to love and chances to show kindness and grace. No opportunity is insignificant or small.  Thank God. Where would you or I be without the love and kindness that has been shown and shared by others in seemingly unimportant ways? Where would you or I be without the just a (you fill in the blank) in our lives?

  • It’s Not the End

    “Here we are at last, at the end of all things” that is a line from “The Lord of the Rings.” It’s funny but that moment was not the end at all.  It was only an end of their hard journey for a moment. There was more to their story still be witten and lived. More ends and more beginnings. 

    Sometimes, we think we have reached the end or the worst only to find an opportunity for new life. Kind of like a second wind in running. When your muscles ache and can seem to fail.  You just know that it’s the end or it appears to be a potential end. When suddenly your body surges with new strength and fresh energy. I’ve heard it talked about in a way that makes me think the second wind is even better than the first.

    Consider Job in scripture, completely down in the pits at his worst, at his wits end when God came with new life. After a good talking to of course. God restored everything that he had lost and even multiplied it. 

    As humans we do tend to be melodramatic about things. Our problems of the moment are always the worst and the hardest. We think that the “ends” we face are true ends that we cannot recover from. It’s important to remember though that what we think of as final might not be as final as we perceive it to be. Sometimes what we perceive to be our end, is an opportunity to experience the second wind, if we just hold on and keep fighting. It doesn’t have to be over, the end can be a new beginning. An opportunity for new growth, new life, and renewed vigor.

    It’s interesting to note that Sam and Frodo in “Lord of the Rings” still had to fight on after the “this is the end of all things” statement.  There was still one more battle after the ‘end’ for them and there were even more beginnings. 

    The only real end is when God takes us home and even then, the end only means the beginning of an eternal life with him. So we can sail off as Frodo ultimately did one day, after many endings and so many more new beginnings. 

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