Devotions For Real Life

God moments, lessons learned, and hope for the journey

Look for a new post every Sunday. My hope is you find encouragement, wisdom for real life moments, and share them with others who may benefit from any of the posts.

  • Depression

    I think one of the biggest mistakes we make as believers is that we get this idea of required perfection. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that we shouldn’t strive for righteous living. After all, the Bible does say that we should be holy as God is holy. We also realize that the holiness God is requiring, is Christ covering us, because we can’t be holy on our own. Yet we still feel this need to be perfect. Or at least that’s how I was raised as a child in the church. You almost felt ashamed to try to come to God if you weren’t all cleaned up and as they say all buttoned up and perfect. The reality I found was instead that if perfection was what I was waiting for, I would be waiting forever. I can be good enough to come to God, because I struggle daily to do the right things and be the person who I really want to be. I do want to be Christ like, and I spend my life fighting my flesh and my own human nature to reach that goal, but it’s not just the idea of perfection, as in a sinless life, that I think we make a mistake about. Although that’s huge one. I think we also think that we’re supposed to be emotionally perfect. Is that the expectation God has for us?  What about things like depression and anxiety, are these unacceptable for believers to experience or struggle with?

    Today I want to look at depression. I’ve always heard that everyone gets down at one time or another. It’s even common now for celebrities or women who’ve had babies who go through postpartum to openly talk about their struggles with depression. If you’re honest with yourself, the majority of the time when you hear someone talk about depression, you see it as a personal weakness. Sure, having a baby or experiencing a great loss may give you a legitimate reason but there’s no excuse for the rest of us or that’s how we often see it.  If we were stronger then we wouldn’t be struggling with depression, right?

    Maybe you even think in your own mind, “well I’m stronger than them because I don’t have to take medicine” or “I’m a better believer because I’m not letting these things get to me”? But is that actually true? Is depression a condition of weak-minded people? Is it a condition for those with weak faith?  Is depression something we should look down on people for experiencing? Why am I asking these questions?  Well, honestly it is because I wonder. I wonder because recently, I’ve been experiencing my own valley.  

    Funny, I didn’t even want to call it depression until I realized I couldn’t deny what I was feeling. In desperation I prayed and cried out to God because I didn’t want to take medicine for it. I still don’t.  Not because I think medication is bad (no I know that it benefits many and I do not look negatively on anyone who chooses that route for treatment) but I wanted to take a different route to avoid any health risks associated with medicine.  Also, I preferred dealing with my feelings in a different way – counseling, journaling, prayer, support from others, etc.…. Yet sitting here writing today make me realize that I had some very unhealthy attitudes towards depression. I kept asking myself what’s wrong with me, why am I not stronger than this? I literally didn’t want to tell anybody what was going on because it was something I felt ashamed of. Here I am being weak, or was it really weakness?

    I was sitting in church and God reminded me of something. Do you know how many of the psalms aren’t positive? I had never thought about it before. I mean we all know lamentations is in the Bible, but do we acknowledge the existence of lamentations in our life. That it’s natural and that it’s a part of the human experience. We all read the stories in the Bible where we see people like Abraham and Sarah struggle with infertility for years, surely that caused periods of depression and agony for them. We read of so many people who had devastating situations in the Bible yet somehow, I think that we’ve sainted them all in our minds. It’s like we don’t think about the pain, the sorrow, the depression, and the agony of what they went through and how that affected them. For goodness sakes, Mary watched her son be brutally murdered in front of her eyes. She experienced grief, unimaginable grief and even though we see it played out over and over in the Bible where people have lost or been hurt, somehow, we forget that they must have felt just as we feel. I’m sure there were periods of extreme joy, and periods of extreme depression. 

    Often times when I was younger, I wondered why some of these stories would be included in scripture when they didn’t seem to have a happy ending, or have beautiful and wonderful events. What was the point? Why were they included in the bible?  I think today I finally understand. God needed to show us that it was OK to not be OK. That our stories don’t have to be perfect or beautiful to still be a part of his divine plan.

    He can use the flawed and the broken to clearly display his glory and yes, his grace. King David in so many of the psalms painted a clear picture of how God in that relationship with him was played out in real life.  Not always lovely, easy, or perfect.  You see people get this idea that David was anointed and then he just was king but if you read in scriptures there were many years in between and many devastating and confounding things that happened. Something’s happened to him that he did not cause but were caused by outside things such as Saul’s hate and jealousy of him which drove him to go after David. David’s great friendship and loss of his best friend. Jonathan. David’s devastation and his own personal relationships and poor choices in them. Through lusting and murder and repentance because of it. We even see the struggle later in his own children’s lives all played out in scripture. This was not a short story, it was not a perfect story, instead it was a story to show that God was with David always through every moment joy and sorrow, wins and losses. You see this in the way that David wrote and praised.  Interestingly enough, there are 42 individual psalms of lament and 16 national psalms of lament, the whole nation mourned together. One site online said 70% of psalms are laments. Yes, over half, is that telling you something about how much of life is going to be happy mountaintop moments and how much of it’s going to be walking in the valley or on the level plateau. 

    I’ve heard people say that they are irritated at others for only coming to God when everything is bad and rarely coming to him when things are great, but maybe that’s not a pattern that’s so unusual. Don’t get me wrong we should still praise God in great moments, come to him often and thank him, but maybe there’s a higher percentage of challenging moments than there are easy or great ones. Why wouldn’t I call out to God when I was in trouble or when I was in pain? Just to prove a point that I’m only going to ask of him when things are good. It’s so silly these things we put on ourselves because of other people’s opinions and expectations or our own. The truth is he is showing us in scripture that even a Psalm of lament is still a praise. You see I can sing here in my pain just as clearly as I can in my joy and victory. The psalms of lament aren’t all negative, they just say that I’m feeling depression or agony, however I recognize even in that, that God is still good and he’s still God. I’m still praising even if I’m saying the truth about how I feel. When did it become wrong to be honest with God about our emotions and thoughts.

    I’m writing today to advocate for God, a God that loved us so much that he gave us a scripture that shows us that life is hard, that it could be messy and painful and yes, we can make an awful lot of mistakes, but the end of the story isn’t determined by the sum of the days of our life. It doesn’t matter if I’m in the darkest valley, I can still sing here my song of lament and it will be pleasing to the Lord. It doesn’t matter if I’ve made mistakes or done things that I knew I shouldn’t have, he hears my song of repentance and my desire to try to be better but needing his grace, mercy, and help. We are not weak if we have struggled with depression, we are not somehow less than. We are just as closely held and loved by our Savior in those moments when we are in the miry clay as when we’re standing on the mountain top. Don’t let anyone tell you different. 

    If you don’t believe me read the scripture because you’ll find it very clearly written. Remember even in the middle of the darkest night, there is no darkness that is so dark that his light can’t reach you. He’ll send little nuggets of hope. We just have to hold on and keep coming even if it doesn’t seem like we have anything great to say. Some of the songs are brutal, our hearts bleeding out in painful praise.  These are our laments.  Yes, they are still considered praises to God. So, praise him where you are, don’t worry about what anybody thinks about it. I’m not going to anymore. I’m also not going to worry about having a story that’s amazing or trying to change the one I have had written into something I think is better, I’m just going to try to make today the best and not worry about the past or even the future. I’ll leave those in God’s hands. Honestly, todays about all I can handle right now.

    My prayer is that you can clearly see that perhaps the perfection that Christ has for us isn’t quite what we think we’re supposed to have in our own minds. He understands that we have pain, struggle, depression, anxieties, and he clearly gives us a place to come to be safe and to find rest even in those moments. Come to him as you are unashamed. Come to him where you can come unafraid. Sing your song whether it’s a song of lament, absolution, repentance, or unabashed joy. He just wants you to sing it.  He wants your heart, even if it’s in a million pieces, even if it’s black and hard a stone, he just wants you as you are. I’m so glad that God showed me and reminded me of that today.

    Scriptures: Micah 7:8, Matt 11:28, 1 Peter 5:7, Psalms 23:4, Psalms 9:9, Psalms 40:1-2, Psalms 34:18, Romans 8:38-39, 2 Cor 1:3-4, Lamentations 3:18-26

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  • 50 Years

    This past Sunday at church we celebrated a couple’s 50th wedding anniversary. Before I had been married myself, I had no real appreciation for occasions that celebrated longevity and perseverance in relationships. Now I believe they should receive a medal or at least some kind of award. Come to think of it, they already have, they have received the award of each other’s constant love, priceless memories made, and affection and adoration for each other over the years they have shared.

    Marriage is no easy thing but looking into the eyes of that gentle eyed older man and seeing his pride and joy in being half of a whole, I saw the reward in their love for each other.   The effort was worth the prize they received in the adoration they share. They would tell others I’m sure that marriage is like tending a garden. You tend it, feed it, water it, cover it in cold times (protect it), prune it, and watch it grow. Years come and go, each a little different. Some with fair conditions and some with foul conditions. Still, you tend the garden. Flowers will bloom, fruits will grow. The more care the gardener gives, the better the garden will fare. That is what marriage is like, it’s like that garden. Hopefully, yours is a well-tended one. If it’s not, it is never too late to roll up your sleeves and get to work on yours. No matter the ill repair or its current state, it can be mended with a little TLC or with a lot of love. 

    Remember, a garden will die or go wild and become unrepairable if it’s left to its own devices. So, tend to yours. That’s what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t let the garden of your marriage die. It’s a true tragedy when it does. Too many have and many more will, but that is not the way it should be. The only garden you need to be concerned about is your own, don’t bother looking at others and wanting what’s in theirs, thank God for the blessing that yours is. Keep watching and take care. Live in the abundance of the beautiful garden that is your own. That’s what that couple was doing that day, they were celebrating the beautiful garden of their marriage and life. Years of work and effort rewarded, celebrated. What a beautiful picture of enduring love and care!

    “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” Eccl. 4:9-10

    May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 15:5-6

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  • Love Redefined

    What love is and means to me has changed a great deal over the course of my life. When I was young it was something that I sought after, worked to earn, desired, and gave easily. Life and experiences quickly revealed to me that love was not what I had once perceived it to be as a child. I have discovered that love is not a feeling, it is a conscious choice, an act of our will.  

    Sure, we can feel good feelings attached to that choice, we can also feel painful ones. Yet all of it, is love. Recently, a friend of mine was grieving the loss of his beloved grandfather. I was trying to console him, and I told him that his grief was not self-pity, he was feeling real loss and deep pain. His grief was love shown in a very raw, painful form. Love is enduring even after the one who we love is taken from us, then the love changes and becomes a reminder of what we once had.  In this way grief is a very real part of love. 

    So is correction. My daughter was acting out. She did not want to comply with my instructions. In love, I disciplined her.  Out of love came consequences. So, love involves correction and consequences. Love doesn’t just feel good. It’s not always easy. In the same way I love her by correcting her, I must choose to act or be loving towards her even when she or another one of my children is acting badly (or maybe even when I am dealing with an irritating person it feels impossible to love). I can still choose to love someone who is not easy to love. 

    Love can be looking past another’s actions and seeing the soul of the person. Or as a famous song says “He looked beyond my faults and saw my needs.” We can do the same for others. Having compassion for someone when it is completely undeserved or not easy to give is love.

    We all love the love that is touchy feely, the lighthearted free, fun love. Yet we tend to run or retreat from real love. You see real love isn’t about taking for itself, it’s about giving. Real love looks at another’s needs above its own and it meets that need first. It is selfless, and it is not concerned with the cost or effort. It is given even when it is not comfortable or easy to give. Real love doesn’t quit in the face of adversity or opposition, it perseveres, and it is not dependent on circumstances or time. Real love in this way is also constant, consistent. Not given frivolously, but instead, by a conscious choice. Real love is not just some happy feeling. That’s the world’s love, not God’s love. Real love isn’t earned or deserved; it is given out of the abundance of the heart of the giver towards another no matter the worthiness of the person it is being given to.

    The ultimate guide to real love is Christ. He showed us what love is by demonstrating love. Scripture declares that the world would recognize that we belonged to him by our love. True love, real love, God’s love.  The love that really is patient and kind; that doesn’t envy or boast; it truly is not proud or rude or self-seeking’; it doesn’t keep a record of wrong; It always protects and hopes just like the Bible says. Those are not just pretty words from scripture that are read at weddings and inscribed on wedding memorabilia, they are absolute truths for all of life. 

    That is too much to live up to you might say. How could anybody love like Christ loved? You are absolutely right that it is not something you can do in your own power. On your own, you will never be able to love right or with real love, because your humanity stands in direct contradiction to what love really is. Since we cannot love on your own, we should ask God to help us, to give us what we lack, and pray for grace when we fail (his love won’t fail us).

    Furthermore, we need to realize that love, real love is not that easy, superficial feeling that the world portrays as love. It is so much more than just a feeling. It is an act of your own will to choose to put down ourselves and walk as Christ did, to see others as Christ did, and to sacrifice as Christ sacrificed. Love is seen in our actions and treatment of others. In kindness, forgiveness, generosity, and grace towards others. There are many who will stick to the fluff, because it’s easier. They don’t want to work or truly walk in love and are satisfied with the status quo of the world’s conditional, selfish, feel-good version of love. The challenge for us as believers is to show real love.

    How? We go deeper and deeper into God and lose more and more of ourselves, of our insufficient and inadequate love. As we grow closer to God, his love begins to shine in and through us. In the world that thinks they need that fake love that they sing about, “all we need is love”, we’ll see that what they truly and desperately desire is real love. Love itself, God. They will see and they will know, even if they don’t understand it, if we will only be the demonstration of love that God has made us to be. The world is crying out for real love, it’s time we step up. Some might say they don’t deserve the effort, but neither did we.  Remember what Christ did for us while we were still a sinner. 

    Are we going to take up the challenge and love the way God has called us to love? Will we refuse the call God has given each of us? We have to decide to love in action as Christ did with selfless self-sacrificing love and to put off what we used to do, how we used to love, and instead let Christ transform us and love through us. Will we walk in real love consciously choosing to walk and to act, to be real love in a world that doesn’t recognize it? In response to his love for us how could we not show that same agape real love to others. It is our only option if we’re being honest with ourselves. When we live in this way, the love we walk in becomes our act of worship, our life song of praise to God himself, the God who is love. 

    Love may not be what I once thought it was. No, now it’s so much more. It’s better, deeper, wider, higher, and stronger. The closer I grow in my faith towards God, the more he shows me this real love and equips me to love others like he did. The fluff is empty, I want to move on to the deep real love of Jesus, the only one that satisfies. This real love that is working in me to transform me into the hands, feet, and heart of Jesus. It is truly the love that so many are longing for. It’s time to stand as believers together in love, with love, and go out to be love – real love as the God who loved us first has called us to do. Will you respond to his call? Will they know who you belong to by your love?

    Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13, John 13:34-35, Ephesians 3:14-21, Romans 5:8 12:10 and 13:8-10, Philippians 2:3, Matt. 5:43-48 , 1 John 4:7-8 4:16-19, 1 Peter 4:8

  • A Seat at the Table

    Recently, I watched a cooking competition like I had not seen before.  Unlike other competitions where the competitors were working to earn prize money or some other material award.  This competition was for one thing.  A seat at the table with the masters.  With those masters that had judged them at one time or another in the competition, who were considered the best or master in their own country.  The competitors received nothing for their time, other than a chance to win the coveted seat.  Watching this, the Holy Spirit started speaking to me.  

    You see, we are very much like those competitors, all vying for a seat at the table.  Just to be with the Master, to commune with God.  That is the deepest desire of our hearts, to know and be known by The Master.  To commune with him, not just from some distant place but instead in a personal, intimate way.  

    There are a few differences between us and the competitors in “The Final Table.”  The competitors were not simple home cooks.  No, they were in some way considered masters themselves already.  They owned restaurants, had won other prestigious food awards, but still they wanted to be the final chef who got to sit at the table with the masters.  So they left their prestige to seek something even greater. Unlike those competitors, I would not consider myself any kind of a master or great person.  I’m just a regular person, not a saint.  I am one who fails regularly and struggles on my journey, working out my salvation daily, both with success and without.  Quitting is not an option but not every battle is a win.  

    There are those who others call saints, or masters in their own right.  We read some of their stories in the bible and in history books. However, whether you are like me or like them, we all are vying for a seat at the table.  No one has any advantage.  Maybe the saints are more like you than you can even imagine.  You see all humanity is on equal ground.  None of us are really worthy or good enough to ever sit at his table, saint or not.  So here we all are wanting so desperately to have that spot.  Often times we are working to earn a spot at the table.  Or should we be working for it?  Could we ever earn it?  

    This is one of the most common mistakes in the Christian life.  We start in faith and then return to works.  Here is what I mean.  We believe by faith we are saved, yet after we are saved we keep working to earn his love, to earn his recognition, or to earn a place.  We covet that place.  As if it is not already ours.  It is easy to see, at least in our mind why others deserve that spot, because we cannot see the inside of them.  I guarantee you they feel the same and if they don’t, that is another sin, pride, or perhaps they have figured out that it was already won for them and are walking in freedom already.

    The truth is not a single one of us would ever be worthy to sit at the table with the Master.  We are not and can never on our own or through our efforts, be good enough or have something worth bringing that will earn a spot with him.  That was why Christ had to lay down his life.  If we can just get a hold of this revelation it would bring such freedom.  We are not working to save ourselves, we have already been saved.  We are simply living our love and thankfulness out loud so that others can see how awed we are by God’s grace and acceptance of a people such as we are.  

    I watched the competitors bring up these beautiful dishes, these edible works of art.   Amazed, at the beauty they offered to earn their spot.  It struck me that unlike them, what I have to bring the Lord is garbage.  The bible declares that our righteousness is like filthy rags.  Even if I could dress it up, what I have to bring would still be rotten and foul.  Yet I have a spot at the table with the Master.  Not because of what I had to bring.  No, only because of what Christ offered on my behalf.  You see, he was the offering and the sacrifice for me.  He presented himself and gave what I could never give.  Still he asks me to surrender all that I am to him, so he can transform me and consecrate me to himself.  Yet all that I am or ever will be is not what would earn that spot with God.  The only reason, for my spot at his table, is Jesus.  If not for him, none of us would be welcome, none of us could be free, none of us would be saved, and none of us would have true fellowship with God.  When the bible speaks of there being only one way to the Father, the master, it is speaking truth.  Nothing we can bring or offer would save us.  It is only when we submit to Christ, and accept what he gave us, his own righteousness, that we can actually have a dish/offering that will allow us the privilege of a seat at the table. 

    The other amazing difference, between the show and our journey, is there was only one spot to be awarded or won on the show.  With God’s table, it is open to all.  All who wish to come and dine and commune.  All we have to do is submit.   Lay down what we have and what we are, take up Christ, and come to the table.  So amazing!  I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it, yet he loves me, He accepts me!  It is to amazing to even imagine.       

    All the glory, all the acclaim, all the accolades go to God and to him alone, our master.  Christ gets all the credit, and God gets all the glory, but we get a place with God!  Who needs acclaim and glory, I just want to commune with my Savior and my Father.  To be in his family and sit at his table.  Isn’t it amazing, his love, his grace, his provision?  I will never stop being amazed!  I hope you never lose the wonder either or go back to trying to earn what you were so freely given.  A seat at his table, the true final table, is available for you today, I hope you join me there with him as we commune together with The Master of it all!  

    Scriptures: Gal. 3:1-14, Luke 14:12-24, Psalms 23:5, Luke 12:37, Song of Solomon 2:4, Matt. 22:1-14, Luke 13:29, Matt. 26:29, Rev. 19:7-9, Rev. 3:20, Romans 8:31-39

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  • A Flickering Flame

    I don’t know about you, but I find beauty in a flickering flame. It dances and moves, but even with the uncertainty or unsteadiness of the light itself, it still shines. Maybe I find loveliness in it because a part of me identifies with that candle, that flickering flame. Why? It’s simple, the flame dances and moves because of the air currents around it and it’s constantly fighting to stay alive. I have certainly felt that way, like a flame struggling to stay lit.

    Here’s the thing about the air around it, it needs a certain amount of air to maintain the flame.  Too much air and it would go out – like when somebody blows out their birthday candles. They blow an excessive amount of air on the candle forcing the flame to go out. However, the reverse is also true. If there’s not any air at all the flame will also be extinguished.  For example, if you were to take that candle and put it under a glass it would go out because there wouldn’t be enough oxygen to keep it alive once it used up all the available oxygen, it would slowly die till the flame is gone. So ironically the flame needs the oxygen that’s in the air that’s also trying to put it out. This is the cause of that beautiful flickering motion of the flame that we see.  

    Back to the point I’m trying to get to, I think there’s beauty in the defiance of a shining candle. The flame is defying the wind coming against it and it’s shining anyway.  The flickering demonstrates to us that there is a constant battle or struggle occurring, but it shines just the same. This is not unlike our life as believers.

    Do you see why I identify with that candle?  The Bible calls us the light of the world, we stand out and shine much like that candle. We flicker as our flame comes against opposition. We have trials and life situations that are like the wind seeking to choke out the flame. Not only are we in opposition against the forces that would seek to extinguish our light, but we also are fighting the surrounding darkness that we live in. That’s why we shine, to illuminate the darkness in the world around us. Yet, so beautifully we flicker but we still shine.

    Do you know what else is lovely in this situation? The candle that I’m watching amazed at its beauty as it flickered wasn’t on its own.  It was not one single candle, one singular light.  It was surrounded by a few other candles. Just like those candles we don’t shine alone either; we are one of many candles and flames, flickering. Limited though our light may be individually, we are one of many which makes us limitless. We shine our light for Jesus, and we shine brighter because we shine together. I don’t know about you but that brings me comfort. It also removes the pressure of this idea that I must be this one light against all the darkness, because that’s just not how it is. We stand together and we are stronger for it. Even Jesus gathered disciples and a core group around himself. We need each other as believers, we were never meant to operate in isolation. We are a whole body, each part shining brightly, each individual flame together becoming a beacon, a light house for the lost in this dark world.

    Do you want to know something even more amazing than the fact that we shine even though we’re flickering, fighting against opposition and forces that come against us?  Something even more powerful than the fact that we stand together and we’re not shining alone fighting against all the darkness around us by ourselves?  An even greater truth is knowing what our fuel is.  We are fueled by the fire of the Holy Spirit, from a well that never runs dry. The fuel source for our lights does not run out. We will shine until it is God’s time for us to not shine here on earth any longer.  Till our race is complete and then we go home to the source of our light, the everlasting Son. Till then we go about the work of illuminating this dark world where we presently live.  

    Isn’t it beautiful how God has chosen to light up the world?  He chose to use us, small and flickering flames, individuals united in one body, to pierce the darkness as we allow his light to shine through us, one flickering light and life at a time.  Once again God amazes me.  I’m amazed how he uses the weak and insignificant things of this world to cause significant changes. There’s something so amazing about that, and so absolute our God! So, from one flickering candle to another, keep fighting the good fight with me until he calls us home, he will sustain our light, and assist us as we fight together to stay on fire and shining for Jesus, an army of flickering lights against the darkness of this present age.

    Scriptures: John 8:12, 2 Cor. 4:6, Matt. 5:14-16, Romans 12:4-5, Ephesians 4:1-6

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  • The Special

    I like to go to watch the Legos movies with my boys. They are funny and have good messages. In the first Lego movie there is a character named Emmett. He wants so badly to be special, to matter, but nothing about him stands out. He’s just a construction worker, not anything special. Have you ever felt like him? Not special, just a whatever role you play. Just, as if there is something more or greater than just. Is there more? Is there truly a just? 

    We have all heard that we are created uniquely. That there is no one in the whole world exactly like us, a combination of our personality and our DNA. What we, each individually, bring to the world is a one of a kind combination. What we can do, how we can serve, it’s just a bit different than how someone else would. Sure, others might do the same kinds of service, but it would be just a little bit different, have a different flavor if you will, then how you might do it. More than that, the world is so large, it’s so big with countless people, yet we are needed in our corner of the world in our moment of time.

    Back to Emmett, at one point in the movie he gets the piece of resistance attached to him. He is identified as the chosen. Yet everyone is disappointed in him, because they expect him to be so special, but he’s just Emmitt, the construction worker.  In spite of this lack of faith or belief from the others, he does become the hero ultimately. Not because anyone recognized him as special, but out of service and sacrifice for others.

    It is no different for believers. We have been given God’s spirit, his holy spirit. This is the piece of resistance if you will for a believer. Yet in our own selves we are still the same with our limitations, our humanness. We are not special on our own. Only God’s spirit in us does something. It activates a desire to serve, to give, and to sacrifice. This is what brings us to the place where an idea becomes action. Faith transforms into action and at that moment, our typical becomes powerful. Our non-special becomes the special. It is God in us that is the hope of glory.

    The place our uniqueness comes in is that God uses us all differently. What God wants you to do is not the same as he asks from me. As it says in Corinthians, there are different gifts God gives us. We are blessed with these gifts to then bless others. And we are all blessed in different ways. With all the gifts there is one commonality, we are to operate them in love. Our unique gifts joined together with other believers to spread God’s love. That is the beauty of the plan of God and our part in it.  A body operating, working together to be the hands and feet of Jesus. That’s where the true power is at. There were other great characters in the movie who participated in the victory such as Unikitty, Wild Style, Astronaut Lego man, Batman, etc. but in the end the victory belonged to all of them not just Emmitt, the hero. We are a part of the body, each part is needed, each part with a special way in which they must serve, the way they are called to sacrifice, and the way they demonstrate God’s love. 

    This is the beauty of God’s plan, there is no “the special” except God, but through his spirit’s transformation and work in us, all of us, we are special. His anointing transforms and works in us and through us. Stop wondering if as believers there’s a place for you at the table, there is.  He has a plan and a gifting for you. Walk in it, be it, the special that God has made you! 

    Stop waiting for others to see that you’re special and know that God recognizes you. It only matters that he knows your name. You are not a just, an only, there is more. His spirit in you and through you. In addition to that, we are not alone, there are many others working for Christ as you are, serving the same King and Master, and who likes you are empowered by the same mighty spirit, working in and through them. The ultimate victory will be all of ours. As the Lego movie says in the cat poster “believe.” That’s the start. Receive and share the special that Christ has put inside of you. Love others and share his spirit! It will change the world or at least your piece of it.

    Scriptures: 1 Cor. 12, 1 Peter 4:10-11, Ephesians 1:13-14, Romans 8:14-17, 2 Tim 1:7,9, Acts 1:8, 2 Cor. 4:7, Ephesians 3:16-21

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  • Choose Contentment

    A few years ago, God gave me a message.  I knew it would be what I needed to hear because that is what I had prayed for, but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear.  It was a message about contentment.  Let me explain the circumstances the message was delivered in.   I had gone to visit a church which I loved listening to online with a few of my friends.  The preacher was an anointed minister, and I had enjoyed other messages that he preached.  So I went there wanting to hear from God and asking him to speak to me what I needed to hear for the next part of my life.  I had been in a place of transition and was needing God to lead me.  Surely, it would be exciting, and I was ready to be brave and set off on a new adventure.  I just knew that the message would be what God needed me to hear and what he was speaking to me. Imagine my disappointment when it was not a message about something new or exciting happening.  No instead, it was a message that nothing would change, but that I had to.  That my attitude had to change.  That I would have to choose contentment.  That things may even get worse, but still, I could rest and trust and be content.  Really God! Nothing would change, just me.  Yes, that was the message, I had to fully trust, rest, and be content where he had me. He was not moving me to where I thought I should be.  It made me angry and frustrated that this was what God was doing in my life.  Yet the message was loud and clear, choose contentment.  This was no small fete.  

    My life at 40 was not what I had ever imagined it would be.  I was in a 9 to 5 job working at my local Christian university.  Underemployed is what you would call my situation at that time, I was being paid hourly.  I had a master’s degree in teaching, but was not teaching.  My job could be done by someone with far less education behind them. Honestly, it was a struggle to live making what I made.  Wow, it was humbling.  So this was one of the struggles I had with contentment.  I went from making more than enough when I was married, to a single teacher making roughly half that amount which was adequate, to making about $15,000 less than even that reduced amount. As you can see my situation financially got progressively more difficult and I was barely making ends meet.  I did not really know how to make my financial situation better either, so it was a source of great frustration.  To top it all off that year, other unforeseen financial situations put me in the precarious position of almost losing my home.  It was an extremely difficult year.  The same year that God was calling me to contentment.  How could I be content when in need?

    Not only was my financial situation tenuous at best, but parenting 4 children as a single mother was very difficult.  I had a nearly grown daughter determined to grow up too fast and leave, another daughter questioning who she was and what she wanted from life who I worried for often as she adjusted to HS life and situations I could not protect her from.  My boys were a handful, with all their wild energy, challenged me. My only solution, that I could afford, was to have them play outside and work on training them the best I could.  I spent many days feeling barely adequate as a parent at best, but mostly I felt completely inadequate. Often times I was plagued with feeling like I was a weak parent who made errors all of the time.  Single parenthood was so much more difficult than I could have ever imagined it would be and there were days I wondered why I even tried.  I wanted to shut down and quit, but how could I?  The kids needed me.  So I would pull myself up by my boot straps and keep trekking forward but even that was becoming something I no longer wanted to do.  Discontentment was driving me places I did not think I would ever go or even want to go.    

    Add to that my friendships at the time were complicated and painful.  It had been a year of betrayal, confusion, and tension in my friendships.  Groups that had held such safety for me became places where I had to check myself and play pretend.  In some ways I was becoming isolated again and I desperately needed the support of the body of Christ.  I hated it, because I lost the soft, safe place and found nowhere to rest or just be myself.  Only a few relationships were safe and even in those I began to make questionable decisions.  I was not coping well and my habits progressively became more destructive.  Once again discontentment was driving me to seek ways to numb the disappointment and frustration. It was infecting and harming my relationships and my life.  

    Remaining single, 3 years after my divorce and 4 years after being separated from my ex husband, was also difficult.  I didn’t want to have to carry the burden of my life and all the responsibilities on my own.  Tired, that is how I felt every day.   There was no relief in sight, no knight riding in because a princess with this much baggage and responsibility built in was not very desirable.  Let’s just say, my relationship status was not likely to change and I accepted that. I was still healing and had no real trust in men.  So, a relationship was out of the question and as much as I wanted to not be alone, I knew that it would have been wrong to just get into a relationship so someone could support me.  If I could not and would not have a partner, what could I even hope for?  I would wished for some relief or support and found only promises in God’s word that I was not alone, that God was with me, but even those promises felt hollow.  I felt so very alone.

    It seemed that everywhere I looked in my life I saw work, responsibility, frustration, and cares, unending cares. I wasn’t where I wanted to be, who I wanted to be, or what I wanted to be.  This chaotic, frustrated state was the state into which God said be content.  What was he thinking?  How could I be content here?  Maybe once he fixed everything, right?  Wrong, that is not how contentment works.  Contentment starts at what is, at where you are right now, so I was at least in the right starting place.  

        God brought to my mind a few things I needed to see.  There were good things in my life, not just challenging ones.  I had a strong relationship with the Lord.  I knew where my help came from although my faith was not always sight or as strong as I wanted it to be.  I could not trace his hand, but I did understand his intent towards me.  I knew that if I did not have my faith in God, I would have quit.  Trust me, there were many days when I wanted to even with God in my life.  I wanted to walk away from every responsibility, from all the things and people pulling on me, and just disappear.   But God was there, and so, I stuck it out.  Yet to me I was in the boat in the storm, with the winds howling around me, water whipping over the sides.  I felt as if I was bailing out the water and losing the battle. And to this God was saying be content.  Rest.  Stop. Seriously, how could I?  Who would solve my problems if I didn’t?  I almost caught myself saying “Don’t you even care if I die Jesus”, no different than the disciples questioning Jesus during the storm.  Of course, he cares!  Of course, he will sustain me!  He was not sleeping for the sake of sleeping.  No, he was just showing me there is nothing to worry about.  Yet all my eyes saw was the storm and him sleeping and God saying be content.  

    What I needed was some truth and some perspective to help me understand why this was the message God was giving me.  As I was writing this here, I found some.  Christ reminded me that he sees beyond the waves and the wind and the howling seas.  He sees why, where, how, and what.  He sees it all and he is not concerned.  So why am I?  That is what he is asking me? I know it sounds so simple, too simple, but it’s true. If he is not fretting or unable to take care of me, why am I worried and questioning.  In those times of need I was never destitute.  When I struggled as parent, God gave me wisdom and strength.  When I felt completely alone, he would send reminders that he saw me and my feelings were not true, I wasn’t alone. 

    If I know he loves me and he is working it all for my good then why am I doubting and yes, restlessly striving to save myself.  He has called me to trust, to rest, and to know that what he has provided is all I need.    You see, we live content because we are satisfied with Him, not with our situation.  We live resting because He is enough, he has done enough, and will provide enough.  We should live like we believe it.  Whether in physical plenty or want, whether in absolute stillness or in seeming chaos, whether our relationships are easy/what we want or we do not have the ones we think will complete something in us, whether our responsibilities seem insurmountable, or our life is easy, no matter what, nothing is out of his control or not in his hands.  Not one moment that we face surprises him, and for each one he is prepared and has made provision.  

    It’s not the storm or the circumstances that needs to change for me to find contentment, it is my focus.  I need to look to Christ and only him.  I need to stop looking at my circumstances.  There is nothing lacking in Christ, there is no chaos in him, there is no struggle in him, only peace. In him I need to find my peace.  I need to cling to him, rest beside him in the boat, and trust that when he says I will get you to the other side, that he will.  He could keep me afloat without a boat, in the middle of a hurricane, or on the dullest sea.  He is what is holding me together, not my will power, not my strength or wisdom, and not every circumstance being perfect. Not only that but it is amazing to find that his love sustains me, that his grace covers me, and that his hope causes me to preserve no matter what.  

    I’m still in the boat, still life will roar around me, and honestly, that will never change but I can change. I can be content because the only one who really matters is with me, and he does not fail me.  I choose peace, I choose to put my eyes on him, and I choose his way.  I choose contentment! How about you?

    I know we each have a story, disappointments and challenges a plenty.  But you can start where you are, and choose contentment too.  Maybe you have been bailing out water and are tired like I was, try a new way? Rest and Trust. Know that the storm will most likely rage on, but you can let God’s peace reign over you, no matter the weather. Maybe the contentment message makes you just as angry as it first made me, still shift your focus.  Sit beside him and rest awhile, tell him your troubles, you can’t save yourself from them all, and trust me, if he’s not frantic them, you don’t need to be either.  The answers and provision will come, your faith will eventually be sight even if it isn’t now.  Somehow, someway, he will make it all right.  Till then find rest and peace in a life lived contented.          

    Scriptures: Philippians 4:11-13, 2 Cor. 12:10, 1 Tim. 6:6-8, Matt. 6:19-21, Matt 6:33, 2 Cor. 9:8, Phil. 4:19, 2 Peter 1:3, Luke 12:7, Isiah 26:3, Colossians 3:1

  • Blessings verses Blessed

    I am so blessed this morning. Those were the words that I said to my son. You see I had been out for a walk and unbeknownst to me dropped my cell phone. I didn’t realize it till my music stopped playing in my earbuds when I got far enough away from it. Simple right, just retrace my steps.  But it wasn’t simple because I walk early, it was only 6:35 am, and it was still dark outside. I could not find the phone and had to return home. I have the find my phone app so I knew if I went on my computer I could at least see where it was located. Sure enough, the app directed me to the correct location. I drove to that intersection and realized that when I was crossing the street it had fallen right in the middle of the crosswalk, in the road where cars were driving. I don’t believe in coincidences; I feel like God protected it and that was a blessing to me. You see it took me about 20 minutes to find it or maybe a little more because I had to walk all the way back home first yet somehow no one drove over it. They should have driven over it, but they didn’t. It had fallen in the perfect place to be protected. So, I recognize that this blessing of my cell phone being protected was a blessing from the Lord this morning. Insignificant to everybody else in the world, but it mattered to me.

    The more I thought about blessings as I sat in my room doing my devotion, I realized that there’s a lot more to blessings than just those momentary blessings that we receive. Don’t get me wrong I am very thankful for those momentary blessings. Like the time my tire went flat at the intersection where I could get off the interstate, when I was at the road that leads to my parent’s house, at the time my father was available to come help me, where the tire shop was just a few blocks away and open, and they just happened to have the tire I needed in stock. You name it and I saw it completely as a blessing that day. But there’s a difference between blessings and being blessed. That’s what I want to investigate here because I think all too often, we get to the two confused.

    Let me explain what I’m talking about. Blessings are the things we receive like nuggets of gold that are peppered throughout our lives. God, helping you find something that you thought was lost, protecting you in moments of your life that could have been devastating or much worse, receiving gifts and agape from people around you; these are all blessings.  They are the things that you are given that bring a feeling of being loved or thought of. These are the things I see as blessings and I would argue that they are not the same as being blessed.

    There’s that catch phrase that people love to say, “I am so blessed.” We wear it on shirts and declare ourselves as blessed, but do we even know what we mean by blessed? Do we truly understand it in all its fullness?  I can be wearing that shirt on a day that I find out I have a disease or a life-threatening illness, on a day that I’m in a car wreck, on a day where I’ve lost the most important person in my life, or on the day my worst nightmare becomes reality and it would still be true. The truth is that even on the worst days of our lives that shirt would still apply for believers because being blessed doesn’t mean momentary blessings.

    We are blessed not because of the many small nuggets of gold, blessings that we receive throughout our day and our life. No, we are blessed because Christ died for us while we were still his enemies. We are blessed because he reached for us before we knew to reach for him. We are blessed because he not only woos us, draws us to himself, and he keeps us, but he has promised us a heavenly forever as well. We are blessed beyond human understanding spiritually in ways that nothing on earth can take from us.  As it says in scripture, I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Meaning the glory is our promised blessing and it is so great, that our present no matter how difficult it is, should not be considered worthy of comparison. It is true that we are blessed beyond the blessings of each moment and day in our life, blessed even in current suffering. Do you see it? When we as Christian’s wear shirts that declare that we are blessed, we are not declaring that everything is good and perfect in our life. We are not declaring that we don’t have struggles, heartaches, or even times of despair. On our worst day we can wear the blessed shirt, the same as we can wear it on our best, because every day, every moment we are blessed by the grace of God through the gift of his salvation generously lavished on us through the sacrifice of Christ our Lord. If we never receive anything else from God but salvation and eternity, we could still declare we were blessed. Pretty amazing when you think about it and completely absurd in the world’s eyes.  They cannot understand how we can stand in times of great trouble, still praise God, and declare we are blessed. 

    I want to be careful here not to dismiss blessings, I feel like they are little moments of a reminder that we’re being looked out for or loved and they’re valuable because we need that affirmation at times in our life, those bits of hope. I experienced that incident with my tire going flat and everything being just right during a time in my life when I was not living in a way that I saw as right. I was making questionable choices and not regularly attending church. I still talked to God; I even did devotions; still I was willfully choosing to go my own way during that time. Yet God looked out for me and protected me, and the blessing of that moment still brings tears to my eyes. It was like he nudged me and said, “I’m still here and I’ll always be here.”  This morning with my phone it was a reminder that God cares about the little things once again. Yet even if I hadn’t received that blessing this morning, I would still be confident in God’s love for me. These blessings are just a bonus that we receive, above and beyond what God has already provided and honestly more than we deserve.  We should not mistake receiving blessings for being blessed though. 

    One of my favorite musical artists is TobyMac. I’ve always enjoyed the songs that Truitt(AKA True Dog), Toby’s son, did on his album. When I found out that he had died at 21 I was devastated on Toby Mac’s behalf. I can’t imagine as a parent, and I don’t want to have to imagine that nightmare of losing my child. Toby came out with a new album since the loss of Truitt called “Life After Death.” There’s a song on the album called “Rest.” One of the lines of the song declares “My Child You’re blessed.”  Even after the loss of his son, even with the struggle that he’s been through in life, through it all he still declares that he, as a child of God, is blessed. Do you see it? Do you believe it yourself? It’s not about being an optimist, it’s about being a believer in the truth that we are blessed beyond each moment in our life. We are blessed beyond the struggles that we experience. We are blessed in a way that surpasses understanding. It’s not something to be flippant about, it’s certainly not something to take for granted because there’s a whole world out there who only understands momentary blessings and cannot live in this stability of the blessed.  They don’t have a rock that holds them steady in the storms of life, they don’t have a lighthouse to guide them when they get too close to the rocky shore. They are literally adrift trying to make it through this very difficult existence on their own with no anchor or guide. For them my heart aches, because at least I know no matter what I face that I’m blessed despite it.

    I hope you feel this morning the way I feel, completely loved by God and yes, blessed. I pray that this anchor will continue to hold you steady no matter what the day holds for you. “Rest, take a breath, push aside the noise and rest your weary head, blessed my child you’re blessed.” (From the song “Rest” by Toby Mac on the Life after Death album). I pray that you’ll hear it today in a new way, and that you’ll believe.  We can trust in Him and hold on to the truth that we truly are blessed!

    Scriptures: Ephesians 3:20, Titus 3:5, Isaiah 44:8, 2 Cor. 9:8, Luke 6:47-49, Matt 7:24-27, 2 Cor. 4:8-9, Isaiah 26:3, Matt 11:28, Psalms 4:8

  • A New View on Failure and Falling…

    As a mother of four, I have watched my share of Disney movies. One of the movies I enjoyed very much because of the hilarious small armed T-Rex was “Meet the Robinsons.” In this movie the main character, Lewis, is an inventor. He only feels like his inventions are a success if they work properly and when they fail, he is devastated. That is until he meets the Robinsons, his new family, and they show him a new point of view. They show him that failure is a success because we can learn from it, we can grow from the experience. What a great lesson! 

    I’m afraid I was not taught that way when I was growing up. It was a succeed and feel pride or fail and be ashamed mentality passed on to me.  If I got it right, I was proud and felt accomplished. When I failed, I would certainly not celebrate it, more likely I would hide it or lie about it.  I never saw failure as an opportunity for growth but only as an opportunity to show how weak and not good enough I was. Embarrassment and shame went hand in hand in those situations. 

    The way I was taught carried over into my adult life. If I failed as an adult, I would hide it, cover it up, and certainly feel shame over my personal failings completely blaming myself. Even to the point of beating myself up over it, over and over and over again. It my mind failing was obviously what I was bound to do as someone who was deficient. That look on Lewis’s face when he failed in front of his new family, when he was devastated at his failure, I understand it full well because I’ve lived it. It’s a scene played out in my own life. So many mistakes, so many times I fall short, and oh so many times I’ve missed the mark. Then comes the inevitable shame. But does it have to be this way? Is there a better way to live or a better perspective to see my failures through? 

    Yes, there is a different way to live, a better way. First, we all have to realize a huge truth, we are human.  I know this doesn’t seem like a great revelation after all it is so obvious, but it is something we need to consider.  We need to understand the implications of our humanness, and our human nature. The Bible declares that we all like sheep have gone astray. There is none righteous no not one.  All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. This doesn’t paint mankind in a very positive light, but it declares that we are very much flawed as humans. The Bible even declares that our hearts are wicked and selfish. Not a good look. We like to think that we are better than we really are. The truth is without Christ there is no good in us, no righteousness, and no holiness. Apart from the vine there is nothing good, productive, or successful that we can do. So, we must accept the truth of our weakness, our humanity, our selfishness, and our unrighteousness. Yet we are not left in this weakened condition without help. 

    You see God knew we would fail, God knew we were flawed, yet he still loved us. This leads me to the next part. We don’t stop in the part of the verses that declare how weak and corrupt we are as humans.  We read on.  Yes, we are fallen but God! Look at the scriptures further. All we like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way, but the Lord has laid on him, on Christ, the iniquity of us all. Though our hearts are evil, and we are not righteous in ourselves, Christ offers us his own righteousness as a covering. He offers to turn our stone hearts into hearts of flesh. He promises that if we ask, he will make us new, restored, and redeemed. So, stopping at I’m evil or messed up is not right. You have to go further. We are made right in Him. We are in process. We don’t quit because of our failings because we realize that he is still working on us.

    If we know we are flawed, and we accept then that he saves us, what does this have to do with Lewis and the message of failure being a success? After all it’s not a success if we sin. But here’s the point, even as a believer we will still fail and fall short. God’s work will continue working in us through our struggles. Instead of looking at these times as seasons that we should feel shame over, we can change our attitude. 

    Romans declares that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So even when we fail as believers, we are still his, we are still not under condemnation, and we are free from guilt and shame. God’s grace will be sufficient, and he will forgive us. God would not want us to return to those same things over and over. When I fail, I do what it says in proverbs for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in the times of calamity. Or as a song I once heard said “we fall down, we get up, the Saints are just the sinners who fall down and get up.”

     Remember he who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. You will be complete. Till then celebrate that we can learn from our failings. We are becoming stronger because of our struggles like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon getting strong enough to fly because of having to push its way out of the cocoon. It is the same for us. If you descend into shame, you miss the lesson, you don’t learn, and then you are apt to repeat the same mistakes. Then you find yourself stuck in this shame cycle. When I refer to the shame cycle here is what I mean.  First, I feel ashamed of something I’ve done and then that drives me to seek comfort which generally means that I go back to that thing that I did, which then brings me to shame again. Yeah, it’s crazy. But that’s what shame does. It gets you stuck, and you never really grow, learn, change, or move forward. So instead of getting stuck in the shame cycle, it’s time to break the shame cycle. That’s what I plan to do. When I get up and brush myself off after falling down, I’m going to listen and learn, asking God to help me see how I can live better.  Seek God’s wisdom on how I can proceed differently in a way that will bring about true change. Maybe I will fail again in new ways. As a matter of fact, I can almost guarantee it. Yet I will rise again and again, no matter how many times I fall down or no matter how many times it takes to overcome. I will continue to get back up. Till that blessed day I will finally emerge from the cocoon and fly, transformation complete, and stronger for the struggle.

    To my fellow sojourners, I pray you will do the same, and make the same choice. Keep rising, fighting, holding on to faith and rejecting the shame. One day we will all fly, fully transformed. Celebrate. Celebrate not that we have failed or sinned. Instead, we are celebrating that we are free from the shame of it, we are celebrating that we can learn and grow from our failures and experiences, we are celebrating that we are able to through God’s strength get back up again, and we celebrate not only for ourselves but for others. Others who like us are fighting the good fight. Celebrate the process, and what that process means. The implications are ultimately wholeness and completeness, and yes perfection finally as one day we will be as we were meant to be.

    Be like Louis when he learned a new way, look at your family of believers around you and celebrate as we are all in process, that’s how it was meant to be.

    Scriptures: Proverbs 24:16, Micah 7:8, Romans 8:1(the whole chapter is amazing, you should read it all), Isiah 53:6, Jeremiah 17:9, Romans 3:10-12, Ezekiel 36:26-28, Hebrews 3:13, Hebrews 10:24-27

  • New From Old

    New from old, a diamond from dirty black coal.  God does not offer to cover over our sins.  No, he promises to cleanse them away completely.  Since I have begun relocating, my husband has been painting our apartment.  We wanted to leave it in good condition so we paint to cover over all the stains and holes made from everyday living and our young growing wall artist.  I started to think about how many layers of paint there were, what blemishes did they cover?  I realized that God offers us more than a fresh paint job.  He doesn’t just want to hide or cover our sins and mistakes, intentional or not, with a temporary cover.  No, he offers new from old.  This is a great mystery.  

    How does he do it, take scarlet robes stained with sin and make them white as snow.  How can red blood make us white?  Only God knows, yet that is what he promises.  Too many of us behave as if our sins still stick to us like that crayon on the wall, a permanent marker mistake.  We miss the point, that’s the old you, the old wall is dead and has been raised anew.  Old chains no longer hold this new man, stains won’t be uncovered, because they are no longer there, not even under the surface.  When God says he who the Son has set free is free indeed.  That’s what he means.  

    Do you believe it?  Do we still remember the old?  Yes, how could we completely forget it with daily reminders as we walk in this chaotic world, yet those memories do not mean that the old man lives now. It only means that he once did.  Don’t believe the lie that you are a painted wall, covered over only.  No, you are new from old.  A diamond where there was once only dirty black coal.  

    Scriptures: Isaiah 1:18, 2 Cor. 5:17, Psalms 103:12, Isaiah 43:25

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